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To: Maelstorm

Not everyone is meant to be with someone either...
I mean, yeah, the majority of folks are better off with someone, but there are those who are far better off alone...and happier.

Yes, it’s true. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it’s not true. And yes, I’ve been married and single, and single far far far is better than married. And a lot of it had to do with a very high need for solitude.


19 posted on 04/12/2008 5:57:03 PM PDT by najida (On FR- Everyman is Brad Pitt, Everywoman is Aunt Bea)
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To: najida

“I live in the solitude that is painful in youth but delicious in the years of maturity.” - Einstein


22 posted on 04/12/2008 6:02:06 PM PDT by wideminded
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To: najida

Ah, you described me. I was married a long, long time. Single for five years now and wallow in the solitude. I guard it and protect it. I love it, don’t want to change it and am happy. Don’t get me wrong, I have family and friends in my life but my home is my solitary haven and I don’t want to share it right now. Maybe someday.......


28 posted on 04/12/2008 7:24:46 PM PDT by McLynnan
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To: najida

Bump to your post.

Some of the posts here have been rather crude in their view of single for life women.


34 posted on 04/12/2008 10:12:46 PM PDT by Global2010
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To: najida
Not everyone is meant to be with someone either... I mean, yeah, the majority of folks are better off with someone, but there are those who are far better off alone...and happier.

Yes, it’s true. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean it’s not true. And yes, I’ve been married and single, and single far far far is better than married. And a lot of it had to do with a very high need for solitude.


It just can’t be explained to some people. Those of us who need a lot of solitude are in the minority, and a lot of people just don't understand. I’m a single male, and although I’ve never been married, I’ve had a couple of live-in, monogamous relationships that lasted more years than the marriages of many of my friends. My choice to be single isn’t an immature endeavor to remain a free, skirt-chasing bachelor; I’ve never been a “player”. But my previous relationships have made me realize that I’m most likely just not family man material.

I’m not closed off to the idea of ever getting married and maybe the right woman for me is out there somewhere, but I also understand that my need for solitude is such that it’s unrealistic to expect most women to accept, and I hate the dating scene so I’m not actively looking for anyone who wants to put up with me. As far as ending up “largely old and unfulfilled with no grand children and like a withered branch that never bore fruit soon dry broken and forgotten”. Whatever… I’m very close to my family and I’m perfectly happy with being the jolly uncle. I’ve seen enough dysfunctional families to know that having kids and grandkids is no guarantee of dying fulfilled.
37 posted on 04/13/2008 12:26:13 AM PDT by Welsh Rabbit
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To: najida

I disagree I think there is someone for everyone. There are those best kept alone such as with predators. I do think the most unnatural thing a person can do is not desire to forge a long term relationship bond with another. It is unfortunate that many choose another who does not compliment them but that does not change the fact that human beings are designed to form families. Nature dictates as much, it is our modern world built on abstract lies that has corrupted ideas of relationships and sexuality and families to the point where it is sometimes easier to stay alone. However I am of the bent that a person is best that challenges themselves.

I could’ve individually fed my ego and my entertainment had I not gotten married and become a father. I could’ve had spurious relationships that pass in the night till they are more like dreams than reality but I would have been a lesser man. I think it is really about attitude and facing the fear because many are fearful of giving up even one inch of ego, compromising one foot of space, granting one anyone admission to their heart. That said I know do know of some who are happier and choose the life for religious purposes but they would be happy regardless and they are usually very social and spend their time helping others. This is not usually the case though. I see far many giving up having families and relationships because of fear, because of greed, and for positions of power. I find this very saddening but that is their choice. What I object to is a media and culture that lifts up solitude and easy living as natural when their is nothing less so in the history of man.

People are not meant to go through life alone and young people especially should be encouraged to think about how their activities will build to the point of forming healthy families rather than resentful bonds and empty marriages.


42 posted on 04/13/2008 8:55:53 AM PDT by Maelstorm (Easy credit makes for easy irresponsibility.)
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