Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
www.someecards.com ^

Posted on 04/11/2008 6:37:46 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...April 15th is coming.................aaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

 



POINTS TO PONDER:

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.



What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.

For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.

People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women.


Due to taxation, politicians find it increasingly difficult to reconcile their net incomes with their gross habits.

To err is human - and to blame it on the Government is even more so.

Death: to stop paying taxes suddenly.

Where there's a will there's a tax shelter.

Tax loopholes are like parking meters. As soon as you see one they're gone.

A dollar saved is bound to be taxed.

The ideal solution is for the Government to live within its means not yours.

Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves. The tax office is of the same opinion.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; rebates; silliness; taxes
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 141-157 next last
To: Lucky9teen

Don’t you insult Curious George like that!!!!!

j/k


41 posted on 04/11/2008 8:11:00 AM PDT by DeLaine
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DeLaine

Ever notice how it was politically correct to compare photos of one president to monkeys but not another?


42 posted on 04/11/2008 8:12:15 AM PDT by weegee (March 18th, 2008 Obama~"I did NOT listen to the sermons of that man, Jeremiah Wright...")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: Harmless Teddy Bear

43 posted on 04/11/2008 8:15:32 AM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: Understated

The last one reminds me of a certain little girl who wanted to pee standing up. Sometimes the answers are the easy ones. LOL


44 posted on 04/11/2008 8:16:10 AM PDT by DeLaine (My beloved is mine and I am his SoS 2:16)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket
New Fuel Gage
45 posted on 04/11/2008 8:17:00 AM PDT by girlscout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket
46 posted on 04/11/2008 8:17:52 AM PDT by girlscout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: weegee

That was my first thought.


47 posted on 04/11/2008 8:22:13 AM PDT by DeLaine (My beloved is mine and I am his SoS 2:16)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen
Taxes all done and mailed in.

I could use the OFST today. I'm in tax rebate rant mode. According to our tax software, we're getting the grand total of...$32. That's not our refund, mind you. We're not getting a refund. That's our REBATE. And no, we don't make beaucoup $$$. We're just both working with no kids at home to claim as deductions. It really sucks. I was going to buy another gun.

Hope those of you getting rebates have fun spending my money. Buy American.

48 posted on 04/11/2008 8:24:21 AM PDT by Hoffer Rand (0'bambi: the audacity of hype)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: envisio

yeah, i’ve thought about doing that.

for me, it would have to be a separate account and it would have to be out-of-sight, out-of-mind...


49 posted on 04/11/2008 8:24:25 AM PDT by Zeppelin (Keep on FReepin' on...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: girlscout

50 posted on 04/11/2008 8:26:02 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Note to McCain: The voters are not united FOR you, they are uniting AGAINST Clinton/Obama)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Hoffer Rand

51 posted on 04/11/2008 8:26:59 AM PDT by CJ Wolf (Let Freedom Ping List - Ron Paul - Ron Paul - Ron Paul - Join it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: Hoffer Rand

52 posted on 04/11/2008 8:28:40 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Note to McCain: The voters are not united FOR you, they are uniting AGAINST Clinton/Obama)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: Red Badger

NEVER argue with your wife.......
.
.
.
Just dicker

(now copaliscrossing can start crawling out to the dog house)!!! LOL


53 posted on 04/11/2008 8:30:09 AM PDT by copaliscrossing (If stupidity were barrels of oil, we should start drilling the liberals heads right now!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Hoodat

I abso-tootley love that story. I had not heard that one before. It made me think of this one....

___________________

If you don’t understand the Democrats’ version of tax refunds, then this will help:

50,000 people went to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. A refund was then due.

The team was about to mail refunds when a group of Congressional Democrats stopped them and suggested that they send out the ticket refunds based on the Democrat National Committee’s interpretation of fairness.

Originally the refunds were to be paid based on the price each person had paid for the tickets. Unfortunately that meant most of the refund money would be going to the ticket holders that had purchased the most expensive tickets. This, according to the DNC, is considered totally unfair. A decision was then made to pay out the refunds in this manner:

People in the $10 seats will get back $15. After all, they have less money to spend on tickets to begin with. Call it an “Earned Income Ticket Credit.” Persons “earn” it by having few skills, poor work habits, and low ambition, thus keeping them at entry-level wages.

People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because it “seems fair.”

People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don’t need a refund. After all, if they can afford a $50 ticket, they must not be paying enough taxes.

People in the $75 luxury box seats will each have to pay an additional $25 because it’s the “right thing to do”.

People walking past the stadium that couldn’t afford to buy a ticket for the game each will get a $10 refund, even though they didn’t pay anything for the tickets. They need the most help. Sometimes this is known as Affirmative Action.

Now do you understand?

If not, contact Representative Nancy Pelosi, Senator Harry Reid, Senator Ted Kennedy or Senator Hillary Clinton for assistance.


54 posted on 04/11/2008 8:31:16 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (Typical White Person)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: CJ Wolf
Stop! Hammertime!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

55 posted on 04/11/2008 8:37:00 AM PDT by Sax
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

To: CJ Wolf
Stop! Hammertime!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

56 posted on 04/11/2008 8:37:45 AM PDT by Sax
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

Comment #57 Removed by Moderator

To: girlscout

Have you seen the new $5 bills? They’re purple! I’m a big purple fan, but I haven’t decided whether I’m totally sold on these, yet.


58 posted on 04/11/2008 8:39:50 AM PDT by Hoffer Rand (0'bambi: the audacity of hype)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Responsibility2nd

“People walking past the stadium that couldn’t afford to buy a ticket for the game each will get a $10 refund”

This is called election day “walking around money”.


59 posted on 04/11/2008 8:40:13 AM PDT by weegee (March 18th, 2008 Obama~"I did NOT listen to the sermons of that man, Jeremiah Wright...")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: Lucky9teen

1. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself
.........Mark Twain -

2. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
.........Winston Churchill -

3. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
.........George Bernard Shaw -

4. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
.........James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994) -

5. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
.........Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University -

6. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
.........P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian -

7. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
.........Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850) -

8. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
.........Ronald Reagan (1986) -

9. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
........Will Rogers -

10. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free.
........P.J. O’Rourke -

11. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
.......Voltaire (1764) -

12. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you.
.......Pericles (430 BC.) -

13. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the Legislature is in session.
.......Mark Twain (1866) -

14. Talk is cheap. . .except when Congress does it.
.......Unknown -

15. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
.......Winston Churchill -

16. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
.......Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995) -

17. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
......Davy Crockett -


60 posted on 04/11/2008 8:43:37 AM PDT by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 141-157 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson