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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
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Posted on 04/11/2008 6:37:46 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...April 15th is coming.................aaaggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
POINTS TO PONDER:
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.
For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.
People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women.
Due to taxation, politicians find it increasingly difficult to reconcile their net incomes with their gross habits.
To err is human - and to blame it on the Government is even more so.
Death: to stop paying taxes suddenly.
Where there's a will there's a tax shelter.
Tax loopholes are like parking meters. As soon as you see one they're gone.
A dollar saved is bound to be taxed.
The ideal solution is for the Government to live within its means not yours.
Some say that nobody should keep too much to themselves. The tax office is of the same opinion.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; rebates; silliness; taxes
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To: Lucky9teen
Fifty Years of Math
1957 - 2007
Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950's:
1. Teaching Math In 1950's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1960's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100 His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1970's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
4. Teaching Math In 1980's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
5. Teaching Math In 1990's
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok. )
6. Teaching Math From 2000 to the present.
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
141
posted on
04/11/2008 1:56:08 PM PDT
by
#1CTYankee
(That's right, I have no proof. So what of it??)
To: Lucky9teen; All
By the way everyone, I Can Has Cheezburger has a political humor site where you can caption politicians like you do for the cats. One of their featured images is...
And one of my own creations...
To: #1CTYankee
I need to be dang silly...I’m depressed...
MrL9 is out of work and NOT even looking...grrrrrrrrrr
143
posted on
04/11/2008 3:30:35 PM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Note to McCain: The voters are not united FOR you, they are uniting AGAINST Clinton/Obama)
To: Sax
"So YOU'RE Darth Vader? Well, you don't LOOK mean!"
144
posted on
04/11/2008 3:35:44 PM PDT
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(To the liberal, there's no sacrifice too big for somebody else to make. --FReeper popdonnelly)
To: BibChr
In an ideal world, your very existence would be proof that the government shouldn’t have ANY of your money, but we have to deal with reality, unfortunately.
145
posted on
04/11/2008 3:37:46 PM PDT
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(To the liberal, there's no sacrifice too big for somebody else to make. --FReeper popdonnelly)
To: Hoffer Rand
I’ll send my rebate to you if you’ll give me your bank account number, routing number, and any related PINs. :-)
146
posted on
04/11/2008 3:57:56 PM PDT
by
Tolerance Sucks Rocks
(To the liberal, there's no sacrifice too big for somebody else to make. --FReeper popdonnelly)
To: Lucky9teen
"I need to be dang silly...Im depressed... MrL9 is out of work and NOT even looking...grrrrrrrrrr
I don't think the wife is all that happy with me either.
I got laid off five weeks ago, my severance will run out in three weeks.
Had an interview and heard back today for a second one next week, keeping fingers crossed.
Best of luck to you.
147
posted on
04/11/2008 4:08:41 PM PDT
by
#1CTYankee
(That's right, I have no proof. So what of it??)
To: G8 Diplomat
re: 142
LOL! Really funny!
I’d never seen either of these pics b4. LOL!
148
posted on
04/11/2008 4:41:10 PM PDT
by
MeekMom
(Love God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your being.)
To: dhot
149
posted on
04/11/2008 4:58:53 PM PDT
by
dfwddr
( Duncan Hunter .)
To: Lucky9teen; All
I really don’t like doing taxes at all, however, my wife and I did ours online. Talk about easy no more going to H & R Blockhead.
150
posted on
04/11/2008 5:08:30 PM PDT
by
KevinDavis
(John McCain "08")
151
posted on
04/11/2008 5:31:59 PM PDT
by
ErnBatavia
(...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
To: dfwddr
snot the same without you, Mr. Rumsfeld.
152
posted on
04/11/2008 6:59:43 PM PDT
by
teenyelliott
(Soylent green should be made outta liberals...)
To: dhot
153
posted on
04/11/2008 7:01:21 PM PDT
by
al baby
(Hi mom)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
154
posted on
04/11/2008 7:06:43 PM PDT
by
al baby
(Hi mom)
To: weegee
To: DeLaine
The Normal Child And Some of Their Abnormalities by Valentine, Penguin books
156
posted on
04/16/2008 3:14:56 PM PDT
by
Understated
(Something to be said for The Power of Love isn't there?)
To: Sax
hiii ,i just saw ur article on shencottah dog breed .do u have any further information about tat breed. thank u
157
posted on
11/27/2012 12:02:26 AM PST
by
RAKESH
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