****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

[Lucky9teen]

 

 

For many, it's SPRING BREAK (or soon to be)...

 

Spring break—that’s when kids work on their tans and teachers work on their sanity.

Spring break—that’s when kids go wild someplace other than school.

Spring break is when the only thing kids study is each other.

The college kids call it spring "break." Their parents, however, call it spring "broke."

Spring break is when teenagers give their swimsuits a dry run.

Spring break—that’s when students take time off from football games, basketball games, dances, parties, and hanging out in bars, and go to Florida and relax.

Thousands of college kids head south to vacation on a shoestring. Or at least that's what they wear on the beach.

Spring break is that annual ritual when college kids flock to the beach, get drunk, and try to swim upstream.

Spring break is when the nation's college kids demonstrate to the world how much they've learned.

Spring break is when the nation's breweries go all out to teach another generation how to throw up responsibly.

[Izzy Dunne]

Now recite it.

Rapidly.

[Ramius]

Hey! Me too! I can live with it...

You Are Most Like George W. Bush

So what if you're not exactly popular? You still rule the free world.
And while you may be quite conservative now, you knew how to party back in the day!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

[r-q-tek86]

I won’t. I got Clinton last time!!

On the bright side... at least you get an intern out of the deal

[Lady Jag]

That was Soju in disguise.

Soju in its native habitat

[Lady Jag]

[Tamar1973]

I <3 Soju in its “native habitat”. LOL!

[Rightly Biased]

Already posted at #50

[girlscout]

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

LOL!!!

[Lady Jag]

A constipated bird cannot get off the ground.

LOL!

[Lady Jag]

You Are Most Like George W. Bush

So what if you're not exactly popular? You still rule the free world.
And while you may be quite conservative now, you knew how to party back in the day!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

[girlscout]

Looks like a lot of people like Mexican food. :-))

You Are Most Like George W. Bush

So what if you're not exactly popular? You still rule the free world.
And while you may be quite conservative now, you knew how to party back in the day!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

[Lady Jag]

Not the Mex here, I chose McDonald’s Egg McMuffins.

War against terror, all American family, glass not half-empty, but half-full. I believe those are the ones that scored me Bush-like.

[RabidBartender]

LOL! Very funny one.

[Lucky9teen]

Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic e-mail Replies:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Dave.

[Lady Jag]

Answering Machine Messages

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
2. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
4. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
5. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
6. "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
7. "Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.'
8. "Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
9. "This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
10. "Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
11. "Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
12. "If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."
13. "You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."
14. "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your Voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.

 

 

[Lady Jag]

[rabidralph]

LOL! Thank you!

[Kate of Spice Island]

You Are Most Like George H. W. Bush

You're considered boring by people that don't know you well. But like Bush senior, you do crazy things.
Maybe you'll end up banning broccoli in your house, or puking on the Prime Minster of Japan!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?