Posted on 01/27/2008 6:57:51 AM PST by Mo1
They’re such angels,
when they are asleep...
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE IN SPAIN.
I am a very light sleeper, and last night I noticed that there was somebody walking surreptitiously in the garden of my house. I arose quietly and listen to the slight noises that came from outside until I saw a silhouette through the window of the bathroom.
As my house is very safe, with grates on the internal windows and bars in the doors, I did not worry too much, but it was clear that I was not going to leave the thief there. Thinking calmly, I called the police, informed them of the situation and gave them my address. They asked to me if the thief was armed, if so, what caliber was the weapon; if he was alone; if he was inside the house; etc, etc...
I told them I did not have any combat experience nor any idea of the characteristics of weapons, I did not know anything other than what I had just told them. They told me that there was no patrol car free at the moment to help, but they would send someone as soon a possible.
I thought about it for a little while and decided to call again. Two minutes later I called again and I said with very calm voice, : - Hello, I called a little while ago because there was somebody in my garden. There is no need to hurry. I have already killed the intruder with a 12 gauge shotgun that I have kept for these situations. The shot stuck him in the face and blew his head off and it is now in the garden.
In less than three minutes, there were in my street 5 Police patrol cars, a Police helicopter the local public defender, public prosecutor , 2 patrols of Civil defense, a team of reporters from the Television; photographers; 1 deputy, 2 councilmen and a group of human rights activists, who would not miss this story for anything in the world.
The Police had caught the thief inflagranti, he was watching everything with astonishment, thinking that my house was the house of the Chief of Police..... In the middle of the tumult, an Official came and she said: - I thought that you had said that you had killed the thief. - I answered her - I thought that they had said me that they did not have to anybody available to send.
THIS IS MY SPAIN, COURAGE!!!!!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too
That is a good one, Cardy. the first time we had an intruder here in Orem, Utah, I waited 60 seconds before calling the police. I talked with him through the french door while he was trying to get in. Then he hopped fences and got away. The second time I didn’t wait to see who was trying to get in. The police came so quick they caught 2 cats fighting on our roof.
I have a sneaking suspicion that most of us here don’t speak Spanish. Here is a (sort of) translation of what is said in Post #1940:
Radars
At the moment they are in Madrid, but they will be putting them in all the sites little by little
Attention, new system of radars. Now it is necessary to watch down and not upwards.
Location:
At the moment only we know of 3 radars.
1- In O’donnell around the Pirulí.
2- In M-40 around Hipercor of the Field of the Nations
3- In N-IV in the first deflection of Getafe.
They pay much attention and they limit its speed, that this every time goes but in serious.
However, have you tried using this way to avoid speeding tickets yet?
:-)
Let’s just say the last speeding ticket I got was in October.
Of 1973...
Let's just say my record isn't quite that clean.......
*Looking for my next excuse* The dog ate my speedometer didn't work last time......
The DOG? You used the dog as an excuse???
When I was growing up on a farm in Iowa, the standard rule concerning edible livestock was that any critter, that has a name, is safe from becoming Sunday dinner.
My sister and I had a pet turkey named “Tom” (how original...hey, we were kids) that we raised from a ‘chick’ and he was imprinted with the image of us being his mom.
He followed us around constantly like a spare shadow and always came out to meet us, getting off the school bus each afternoon. He’d come out and fan out his feathers and strut around a bit. It was his main, possibly only, talent.
In early November, word leaked out to us that he was going to be the main course for Thanksgiving dinner. The old rule had been over-ridden and Tom was about to be “axed” literally.
Come the day before Thanksgiving, we all dreaded what was about to happen and nobody would volunteer to be his executioner. Just thinking about it spread through the family to where we were all nearly in tears.
Happy ending:
We couldn’t bear to kill Tom for dinner, so we ate the dog.
Britney Spears (she loves those torn, ragged fishnet hose.)
Darlin' thank you for the pictures of those beautiful, classy women of years gone by. I feel certain I'm not the only one who would love to see dignity return to our screens and magazines.
Actually the last line was "ESTA ES MI ESPAÑA CARAJO....!!!!!" Which translates into "if you can believe that," What the F***, Sh** or any type of expletive phrase -- but I took the Dan Rather approach.
I believe he must have been pulling our chains with his final word "Courage..."
From the catwalks a couple of days ago.
Oh what a sweet pic! (not the one of Britney!)
That dog looks like my Chico! He’s the sweetest pup on the planet!
That Versace gown sounds yummy! I don’t get invited to the Oscars very often, so I wouldn’t have an excuse to buy a gown like that, but it sounds like something I’d love to have. :)
How could the get the dog to do that - copy the boy right down to closing the eyes?
That’s Gennifer? Looks like two different people! Sad thing is, she probably looked just fine before her surgery. What are these women thinking?
Hi Nutly! *waving back*
Did you dress in the dark this morning? You have your shoes on the wrong feet and your pants are on backwards......maybe it was that hot date you had with Pammie last nite. :)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.