HOW TO CALL THE POLICE IN SPAIN.
I am a very light sleeper, and last night I noticed that there was somebody walking surreptitiously in the garden of my house. I arose quietly and listen to the slight noises that came from outside until I saw a silhouette through the window of the bathroom.
As my house is very safe, with grates on the internal windows and bars in the doors, I did not worry too much, but it was clear that I was not going to leave the thief there. Thinking calmly, I called the police, informed them of the situation and gave them my address. They asked to me if the thief was armed, if so, what caliber was the weapon; if he was alone; if he was inside the house; etc, etc...
I told them I did not have any combat experience nor any idea of the characteristics of weapons, I did not know anything other than what I had just told them. They told me that there was no patrol car free at the moment to help, but they would send someone as soon a possible.
I thought about it for a little while and decided to call again. Two minutes later I called again and I said with very calm voice, : - Hello, I called a little while ago because there was somebody in my garden. There is no need to hurry. I have already killed the intruder with a 12 gauge shotgun that I have kept for these situations. The shot stuck him in the face and blew his head off and it is now in the garden.
In less than three minutes, there were in my street 5 Police patrol cars, a Police helicopter the local public defender, public prosecutor , 2 patrols of Civil defense, a team of reporters from the Television; photographers; 1 deputy, 2 councilmen and a group of human rights activists, who would not miss this story for anything in the world.
The Police had caught the thief inflagranti, he was watching everything with astonishment, thinking that my house was the house of the Chief of Police..... In the middle of the tumult, an Official came and she said: - I thought that you had said that you had killed the thief. - I answered her - I thought that they had said me that they did not have to anybody available to send.
THIS IS MY SPAIN, COURAGE!!!!!
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too
That is a good one, Cardy. the first time we had an intruder here in Orem, Utah, I waited 60 seconds before calling the police. I talked with him through the french door while he was trying to get in. Then he hopped fences and got away. The second time I didn’t wait to see who was trying to get in. The police came so quick they caught 2 cats fighting on our roof.