Better than this:
Posted on 12/26/2007 8:08:46 AM PST by Graybeard58
It seems to me that we are getting a lot of new members and the following may be helpful to them.
Live in a solid "red" state and when anybody complains about some asinine law in their blue state, tell them to "just move from there". The simplistic solution is always the best one. Refer to California as Californicate or Kalifornia. The people's republic of (insert state name here) is always good.
When an article appears about something negative happening in public schools, proudly proclaim that all your kids are home schooled and geniuses to boot. Extra points if you also state "Publik educashun suks" extra, extra points if you put "home school" in caps and add a few exclamination points.
Any article posted about guns being used in a crime, be sure to ask what caliber gun was used and berate the author for leaving out that very relevant fact. If the good guy shot at the bad guy and missed, tell everybody that he needs more range time. Helpful also to mention what an excellent marksman you are. Post a picture of one of your guns for extra points.
When an article about those deceptive credit card companies is posted, post a reply stating one of the following, "I don't have a credit card and never will", or "I have credit cards but pay all balances if full every month", extra points if yours is the first reply on the matter. If you can squeeze it in there, also let folks know that you don't own a television set anymore and haven't since 1967. If you can't get that in, you'll just have to wait for a thread about the MSM to post it. Don't even hint at the fact that most articles posted here are from the MSM.
A "noob" or "Newbie" is a member who has been here one day less than you have, an old timer has been here at least one day longer. Noobs opinions don't mean very much because they all started forming their political philosophies the day they signed up here.
Become adept at using these terms, Noobie, troll, DUer, idiot, bigot, moron (preferred spelling - "maroon"), IBTZ etc.
Join one or more of the following as soon as possible, Spelling police, grammar police, thread police. Extra points if you join all three
I'm not fully coffeed up yet,am I logged in? Any helpful suggestions or additions are welcome.
“I only have one TV and I tuned it to Fox News in 1999 and ripped off the knob. I believe in Black helicopters, White SUVs, AIDS as a CIA conspiracy, the Bilderbergers/Illuminati/Trilateral Commission/CFR/Masons control everything, and that if we just elected Ron Paul everything would be hunky dory. Do I qualify?”
Well, I humbly beseech you as my senior better (you did sign up three days prior to me) that you repectfully consider that you may have been in just ever so slightly in error in not mentioning the Queen of England. Every true conspiracy theorist worth his salt should realize that the Queen controls everything.
I certainly hope and pray that you don’t take offense at me the ‘noobie’ (compared to you at least) and report me to the dreaded ‘kitties’ as a ‘troll’.
Here is another rule of thumb:
If you feel like u cannot properly defend your own point of view by yourself, ping an entire group to beat up on the guy who is picking on you.
Here is another rule of thumb:
If you feel like u cannot properly defend your own point of view by yourself, ping an entire group to beat up on the guy who is picking on you.
And then you see the same dudes posting about how many failed relationships they've had because the gal they exercised that same wonderful judgment on turned out to be a psycho or a gold-digger or a serial philanderer...
;-)
I also like the posts on a story about animal cruelty where someone will say something like: “Geeze, you people, it was only a dog (or cat). A dog has no more value to me than a cockroach or ant. Why don’t you people ever complain about the 49 million abortions that take place every second”.
And invariably, it's "you people".
Noob! Da publick edumucashun laws in Kaliforniastan and the Peeple’s Republik of Taxafagachusetts suks! That’s why you HOME SCHOOL! I took my Winchester 870 12 gauge with some 00 buckshot and shot it in my television in 1967 when I first joined FR. Never bought a television with my credit card which I pay in full every month since then.
IBTZ. ;)
I know what you mean.
Smoking again....DUDE, STEP AWAY FROM THE BONG!!!!
God bless him. He even had his own ping list for a bit.
I also failed to mention other well-documented conspiracies like UFOs, Area 51, Bigfoot and the secret ingredient in Spam.
*hack* *cough* Whoa, sorry what did you say? :)
Nothing man...forget about it. ENJOY!!
I’m keeping list and it’s gettin’ longer by the day.
However, I’ve YET to see a ‘MEN ARE EVIL” thread posted here.
Ever.
I wonder why ;)
Most of the time I don’t even bother to read replies because I find that I am being nitpicked or having my meaning twisted, that in a conservative world would not happen.
I would say 95% of my posts are in direct response to the item being posted and only 5% are a response to what someone else has posted and absolutely rarely post to disagree with someone.
Sometimes I get the feeling there are way too many people sitting at their computer scanning FR with a beady eye just looking to nitpick someone with the Gotcha-Game just so they can inflate themselves.
Your post sounds like you reached that point too. I recommend you stop reading replies unless it is surely a happy thread like a bash Hillary thread.
I don’t sign on to FR every day to find out what’s wrong with me. And if I want to feel inflated I listen to Classical music.
“I also failed to mention other well-documented conspiracies like UFOs, Area 51, Bigfoot and the secret ingredient in Spam.”
I would have mentioned those as well but I felt that would be too presumptious of me as a relative newbie to a much wiser and far more respected member of this forum than myself.
That would have been in very much in violation of this stricture: “A “noob” or “Newbie” is a member who has been here one day less than you have, an old timer has been here at least one day longer. Noobs opinions don’t mean very much because they all started forming their political philosophies the day they signed up here.” tip by greybeard.
After all, you have been around three whole days longer than myself. So you’re an ‘old timer’ and I’m a ‘noob’.
You give us too much credit. Mostly we're just slobs.
” ... moron (preferred spelling - “maroon”)...”
I know you know this, but as a spelling SG-2*, I must point out that “maroon” used in the FReeper context is not a “spelling,” as such, but a quote.
However, I do get the gist of what you said - it must be spelled that way to correctly quote Bugs Bunny. I just thought that this great purveyor of conservative thought should get credit for his witticism.
*SG-2 - Security Guard, 2nd Class - not good enough to be a cop
Better than this:
You can’t trick me, #s 162&163 are the same rules of thumb.
(Gee, I thought everybody knew that).
;^)
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