Tips on how to be a good "FReeper"

self ^ | 26 Dec, 2007 | Self

[Graybeard58]

It seems to me that we are getting a lot of new members and the following may be helpful to them.

Live in a solid "red" state and when anybody complains about some asinine law in their blue state, tell them to "just move from there". The simplistic solution is always the best one. Refer to California as Californicate or Kalifornia. The people's republic of (insert state name here) is always good.

When an article appears about something negative happening in public schools, proudly proclaim that all your kids are home schooled and geniuses to boot. Extra points if you also state "Publik educashun suks" extra, extra points if you put "home school" in caps and add a few exclamination points.

Any article posted about guns being used in a crime, be sure to ask what caliber gun was used and berate the author for leaving out that very relevant fact. If the good guy shot at the bad guy and missed, tell everybody that he needs more range time. Helpful also to mention what an excellent marksman you are. Post a picture of one of your guns for extra points.

When an article about those deceptive credit card companies is posted, post a reply stating one of the following, "I don't have a credit card and never will", or "I have credit cards but pay all balances if full every month", extra points if yours is the first reply on the matter. If you can squeeze it in there, also let folks know that you don't own a television set anymore and haven't since 1967. If you can't get that in, you'll just have to wait for a thread about the MSM to post it. Don't even hint at the fact that most articles posted here are from the MSM.

A "noob" or "Newbie" is a member who has been here one day less than you have, an old timer has been here at least one day longer. Noobs opinions don't mean very much because they all started forming their political philosophies the day they signed up here.

Become adept at using these terms, Noobie, troll, DUer, idiot, bigot, moron (preferred spelling - "maroon"), IBTZ etc.

Join one or more of the following as soon as possible, Spelling police, grammar police, thread police. Extra points if you join all three

I'm not fully coffeed up yet,am I logged in? Any helpful suggestions or additions are welcome.

[Rightly Biased]

Thanks to Backhoe but these should help

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[Vision]

All Freepers held in high regard deposit $10,000 a month to a Swiss bank account only I have the address for.

Don't miss out.

[lowbridge]

moron (preferred spelling - "maroon"),

And "moran"

[MizSterious]

You left out—when someone complains about a network show, always be sure to say you threw out your teevee years ago, and berate anyone who still has one.

;)

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! (A happy holiday is optional.)

[Graybeard58]

This really should be in “Breaking news”.

[denydenydeny]

And don’t forget on any movie thread the need to announce to everyone that you haven’t watched a movie in years

[BigBlueJon]

This should really not be in BREAKING NEWS.

Just kidding......Made you look.

But really.....this is series and it could be very hugh.

[najida]

And don’t forget the Lazarus threads, where a 1, 2 even 5 year old thread is resurrected with a reply like “I agree!”
So everyone jumps in the discussion again. :)

[martin_fierro]

IBTZ

[MotleyGirl70]

I love it Graybeard!

Lol...

If you can squeeze it in there, also let folks know that you don't own a television set anymore and haven't since 1967.

You forgot one though:

When in General/Chat and there's entertainment news on a celebrity, movie or a music band reuniting which you have no interest in, a good FReeper always clicks on the thread and posts "Who cares."

[CholeraJoe]

I only have one TV and I tuned it to Fox News in 1999 and ripped off the knob. I believe in Black helicopters, White SUVs, AIDS as a CIA conspiracy, the Bilderbergers/Illuminati/Trilateral Commission/CFR/Masons control everything, and that if we just elected Ron Paul everything would be hunky dory.

Do I qualify?

[Graybeard58]

Do I qualify?

Well, you have been here a lot longer than I have, so you must qualify.

[the_devils_advocate_666]

Caused by Global Warming / George Bush’s fault

[Sam's Army]

"I have credit cards but pay all balances if full every month", extra points if yours is the first reply on the matter."

I have credit cards, but my wife and I disagree on paying off the full balance most of the time.

How many points do I get for that?

[dakine]

“...proudly proclaim that all your kids are home schooled and geniuses to boot.”

hahaha...Home Run...!

I guess I should read the rest of your post....I need some more laughs...

I like to say: “sanctimony is my name” for certain type of posters...

[JRios1968]

I like cheese...

[avacado]

"noob? That just sounds dirty!"

[Graybeard58]

Everyone who has replied to this point, has more time here than I do, I haven’t been able to call anyone a noob yet dammit.

[avacado]

You can call me a ‘noob!’ It would be my honor!