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UK: Social club issues warning to flatulent pensioner: reports
AFP on Yahoo ^
 | 12/5/07
 | AFP
Posted on 12/05/2007 1:41:03 PM PST by NormsRevenge
LONDON (AFP) - A 77-year-old pensioner has been ordered out of his local social club for breaking wind too loudly, which "disgusted" fellow members, press reports said Wednesday. 
Maurice Fox, received a letter from Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton, Devon about his overly-audible flatulence, asking him to go outside when necessary. 
"It's only a little bit of wind -- it doesn't really hurt anyone. I sit by the door anyway and try to get out when I can. But sometimes it takes me by surprise and just pops out," he was quoted as saying by The Guardian. 
"I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell," he added, noted that "there is no smell at all since I gave up the cider and started on the Bass." 
The letter from the club committee confirmed that others had been disturbed. 
"After several complaints regarding your continual breaking of wind while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors," it said. 
"You sit close to the front door, so would you please go outside when required. So please take heed of this request," it added. 
Fox -- who said he gets no complaints at another nearby club he attends two days a week -- voiced surprise that he had received no oral warning before the written complaint. 
But he admitted they had a point. "I do not think it is unreasonable, you get ladies in there," he said. 
"The ladies find it a bit rude but the men have a chuckle. My wife died seven years ago and I live on my own so I might have lost a few social graces. But I was surprised to get the letter from the committee."
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine
KEYWORDS: flatulent; pensioner; socialclub; warning
    
To: wazoo1031; ErnBatavia; Xenalyte; pax_et_bonum; Lurkin Lurch
2
posted on 
12/05/2007 1:45:33 PM PST
by 
Allegra
(Greetings from a kinder, gentler Iraq.  God bless US and Coalition Forces.)
 
To: Slings and Arrows
3
posted on 
12/05/2007 1:47:46 PM PST
by 
Allegra
(Greetings from a kinder, gentler Iraq.  God bless US and Coalition Forces.)
 
To: NormsRevenge
    "there is no smell at all since I gave up the cider and started on the Bass."  Smart move. Bass Ale is far better than cider anyway.
 
4
posted on 
12/05/2007 1:48:51 PM PST
by 
Mr. Mojo
(My other Telecaster is a Thinline)
 
To: NormsRevenge
    ![]()
http://kidblog.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/no-farting.jpg
![]() 
 
5
posted on 
12/05/2007 1:53:23 PM PST
by 
libertarian27
(Land of the Fee, Home of the Shamed)
 
To: libertarian27
6
posted on 
12/05/2007 1:53:57 PM PST
by 
libertarian27
(Land of the Fee, Home of the Shamed)
 
To: nuke rocketeer
    Reading.....
  can't
 
 stop 
 
 laughing
 
 
7
posted on 
12/05/2007 2:02:59 PM PST
by 
shbox
(BobbyHill: "What's the matter with those people, Dad?"  HankHill: "They're hippies, son")
 
To: Allegra
8
posted on 
12/05/2007 2:03:25 PM PST
by 
ErnBatavia
(...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
 
To: NormsRevenge
    “Breaking” news, for sure...
 
9
posted on 
12/05/2007 2:06:39 PM PST
by 
ErnBatavia
(...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
 
To: shbox
    See #8 — looks like bofus keep a few gif’s on hand, just in case....
 
10
posted on 
12/05/2007 2:07:18 PM PST
by 
ErnBatavia
(...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
 
To: Allegra; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
    If he really wants to scare them, he can hold a candlelight vigil.
 
11
posted on 
12/05/2007 3:41:18 PM PST
by 
Slings and Arrows
("Bush is destroying the solar system:The ice caps on Mars are shrinking too." --Right_Wing_Madman)
 
To: Slings and Arrows
    Was just gonna “not-ping” you on this & you go and beat me to it!
8^)
 
12
posted on 
12/05/2007 3:44:42 PM PST
by 
The SISU kid
(Imagination saved us from extinction)
 
To: Slings and Arrows
    I’m not going to read this thread.
 
13
posted on 
12/05/2007 3:49:12 PM PST
by 
LucyT
("If fences don’t work, the one around the White House should be taken down." - em2vn)
 
To: Slings and Arrows
    Better out than in, as granddad used to say.
 
14
posted on 
12/05/2007 6:30:52 PM PST
by 
RedRover
(DefendOurMarines.com)
 
To: NormsRevenge
    But he admitted they had a point. "I do not think it is unreasonable, you get ladies in there," he said. Ladies don't break wind? News to me. 
 People are way over reacting.
 
15
posted on 
12/05/2007 6:53:39 PM PST
by 
metmom
(Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
 
To: NormsRevenge
16
posted on 
12/05/2007 8:08:49 PM PST
by 
xJones
(A real country has real borders.)
 
To: LucyT
    Im not going to read this thread.Are too.
 
17
posted on 
12/05/2007 8:11:58 PM PST
by 
xJones
(A real country has real borders.)
 
To: xJones
    Are too. Not.
 Hands over eyes; la la la la la. Can't hear you either.
 
18
posted on 
12/05/2007 8:18:41 PM PST
by 
LucyT
("If fences don’t work, the one around the White House should be taken down." - em2vn)
 
To: shbox
19
posted on 
12/06/2007 6:52:14 AM PST
by 
nuke rocketeer
(File CONGRESS.SYS corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?)
 
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