I Are Moose!
I Controls Cheese!
I Controls Universe!
Posted on 11/24/2007 1:45:10 PM PST by ahdin_dunuffin
November 21, 2007
Rod Filbrandt Dear Uptight Seattleite,
Where I'm from, if someone comes up and tries to engage you in a conversation about how Hillary is leading an army of My Little Ponies in a secret war against the NBA, the proper response is to avoid eye contact and move away quickly. But you people, despite your reputation for unfriendliness, seem remarkably willing to engage in conversation with random crazy people. I heard one woman say to a man in soiled pants and a ripped, puffy jacket, "Well, anyway, at least it's Friday!" As if on the weekend he would be relaxing from a long week of scrounging for cigarette butts by scrounging for cigarette butts in a more leisurely manner. Do you all see every interaction with the differently hygiene'd as some kind of test of your tolerance?Crud Shunner
SKYBIRD SKYBIRD DO NOT ANSWER
SKYBIRD SKYBIRD DO NOT ANSWER
EMERGENCY ACTION MESSAGE FOLLOWS
COMMAND WORD: COTTONMOUTH
DESIGNATOR: JERICHO
DAY WORD: TRINITY
TROLL ACTIVITY DETECTED AT LOCATOR 1930039
ZOT PER SIOP OPTION TWO ONE ZEBRA “GRAND TOUR”
NUKE ‘EM ‘TIL THEY GLOW
AUTHENTICATOR: VIKING KITTIES ARE OUR OVERLORDS
STOUT HEARTS—SILVERBACK SENDS
EMERGENCY ACTION MESSAGE ENDS
So the Lefties in rain-soaked Seattle actually waste dead trees printing this tripe? Monkies with typewriters could come up with more coherent sentences!
Do you all see every interaction with the differently hygiene'd as some kind of test of your tolerance?That and a test of endurence.
PU from the DU
IBTZ!
no, I can't go with it. I have too much respect for the word "random."
Alas. They’ll strip the poor word of it’s meaning.
Udin_dunuffin except post something that makes zero sense! What’s the dealio?
///// #PPPPPPP
DTG 250339Z NOV 07
T O P S E C R E T VIKINGKITTEN
SUBJ: SNIFF
RE: POST 1
1. PERIMETER SENSORS ALERTED OF SUSPECTED TROLL PRESENCE, THIS DTG, THIS LOCATION.
2. WATCH NCOIC IS DECLARING CODE VICTOR-KILO AND RECOMMENDING LEVEL ONE SURVEILL NOOB IN FREEP FORUM (S.N.I.F.F.).
3. ALL ELEMENTS ARE DIRECTED TO REPORT CONFIRM/DENY TO FREEPNORAD AS AVAILABLE. WATCH NCOIC WILL COORDINATE COMMS WITH FR MOD COMMAND BUNKER.
4. CHALLENGE/PASSWORD: BEEBER-SHOWER.
#/////
NOTHING FOLLOWS
EOM EOM EOM
I left my decoder ring at home; but I do have the clearance and the need to know.
Would you like to try again?
I left my decoder ring at home; but I do have the clearance and the need to know.
D*R*I*N*K M*O*R*E O*V*E*L*T*I*N*E
I hope this helps!
LOL! I guess I meant, “I left my Dick Tracy Watch at home!”
drugs & alcohol don’t mix
put down the keys and take a cab!
IBTZ
My youngest daughter has a navy of colorful little ponies down in the basement but they won’t listen to Hillary at all. I can tell they’re in the navy because she puts them on her brothers aircraft carrier.
I think the whole thing is a spoof. Here is the third letter from that site:
Dear Uptight Seattleite,
Self-conscious about my new boyfriend’s thinning hair, I blurted out to my friends that he has cancer. Is it OK to ask him to play along?Girlfriend With a Baldy
Dear Girlfriend,
A crackling current runs through a new relationship, generated by the unspoken struggle for dominance. Who will be the one in control, and who will live in fear of being dumped? That’s sort of how I remember it, anyway, though I will confess to a bit of a prolonged dry spell. That kind of grappling doesn’t generally work out for me somehow. I do better at scaling a hill in a national park than winning a heart in a natural chest. But let’s reach back through all the preceding hill-grappling to reconnect with the electricity in the first sentence. Let’s use it to raise the curtain on my suggestion for you: Ride this playful, dangerous energy toward a thrillingly unpredictable ending. Look him in the eyes and ask: “What can I do for you in exchange for your feigning cancer tonight?”
Don’t know anything about the poster, but trying, maybe unsucessfully, to be funny doesn’t seem to be a zotable offense; but that’s just me. The column, taken as a whole, seemed pretty funny. Maybe Onion or Scrappleface material.
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