NM Red or Green Ping
ping
If you eat one of these and start tripping - Don’t kick the turtle.
“Come on icecream!!”
ah chihuahua
How long before they use it in a pepper spray?
I’ll buy a few canisters when they do.
Pronounced "Butt Joker" by any chance?
What is that compared to the habenero?
“You try it. No, you try it. Hey, let’s have Mikey try it. HE hates everything.”
.............
“He’s dead, Jim.”
I GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THOSE!!!!!!!!!!!............
Dorset Naga This rare chilli was developed by making selections from the Bangladeshi landrace chilli known as Naga Morich. Other names for this landrace include Naga Jolokia and Bhut Jolokia. In common with its relatives, Dorset Naga has a scorching heat of around a 1,000,000 Scoville Heat Units, making these chillies significantly hotter than any other chilli ever measured. Along with its heat, Dorset Naga is backed up by a powerful aroma that imbibes any dish with a wonderful, distinctively fruity flavour. The fruit are roughly cone shaped, and about 2 cm wide at the shoulders and up to 4 cm long, though they can be smaller. Naga are traditionally used green, but we sell Dorset Naga at both green and red stages. Warning: this chilli is extremely hot; please use with the greatest caution. Under no circumstances should one of these chillies be left where an unwitting person, especially a child, might handle them.
Is this for sale yet?
Wasn’t it just a couple months ago that a British couple won “hottest chile” for some oddball variety they cultivated in their backyard greenhouse?
I have a whole collection of “exotic” chile sauces that I could drink from the bottle. A $1.50 jar of Siracha chile+garlic or Goreng (chile only) beats them all.
Any and all hot chile threads must include this joke:
Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity from Texas to be a judge at a chili cook-off, basically because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you’re a writer and known and adored by all. Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE:
A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO:
Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK:
Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that’s the worst one. These people are crazy.
Chili # 2: Arthur’s Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE:
Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO:
Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK:
Keep this out of reach of children! I’m not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beerline. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.
Chili # 3: Fred’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE:
Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO:
A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK:
This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her “Sally.” Probably behind her back they call her “Forklift.”
Chili # 4: Bubba’s Black Magic
JUDGE ONE:
Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO:
Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK:
I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn’t have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled ... it’s kind of cute.
Chili # 5: Linda’s Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE:
Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO:
Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK:
My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Chili # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE:
Thin yet bold. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO:
The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK:
My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one wants to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.
Chili # 7: Susan’s Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE:
A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO:
Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned chili peppers at the last moment.
FRANK:
You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn’t feel it. I’ve lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili that slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good, at the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it’s too late. Tell our children I’m sorry I was not there to conceive them. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful and I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I’ll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I’ve found a super nova on my tongue.
Chili # 8: Helen’s Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE:
This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
JUDGE TWO:
A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
FRANK:
Is that you mama?
Give it away, give it away, give it away now!
Give it away, give it away, give it away now!
Give it away, give it away, give it away now!
I can’t tell if I’m a kingpin or a pauper!