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Study: Big Feet Key to Longer Life
thedailyredundancy.com ^ | 10/10/07 | Unknown

Posted on 10/10/2007 1:37:27 PM PDT by Froufrou

Researchers at West Northland University have released a study directly linking longevity to foot size. The groundbreaking publication culminates a ten year study of people between the ages of 80 and 100, and included subjects from all walks of life. "It was a surprising conclusion, frankly." said Herman Littlepod, Professor of Geriatric Podiatry at the University and co-author of the study.

"We expected lifestyle and geography to be more of a factor. But some subjects smoked and drank - some didn't, some exercised regularly - some didn't, and it didn't seem to matter where they lived. In the end, the only common denominator was that most of them had larger than average feet."

Skeptics were quick to point out that lifestyle cannot be completely taken out of the equation. "More study may be needed, but I would think that most people who smoke, drink and don't exercise wouldn't live to be 80 in the first place." said Patricia Whitecoat, Professor of Quantative Physiology at Howyflyl University. "But you can't ignore the facts. This big foot phenomenon has merit."

Researchers say funding for a supplemental study has been approved, but stress that research in a new direction is also needed. "A basic rule of science is to repeat the experiment." says Mort Finfisher, the other co-author of the report. "But we would be remiss to not ask the obvious questions: 'What are the inherent dangers of having small feet that seem to shorten life spans?' 'Is it a balance problem?' 'Are there therapeutic properties in foot odor? Right now, we just don't know."

Although compelling, the research team warns that people should not act on the results of the study just yet. "We're not ready to say that foot enlargement surgery may add years to your life." admits Littlepod. "But if you already have big feet, keep them."


TOPICS: Health/Medicine
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To: Choose Ye This Day

Yep, good satire from “The Standard of Excellence in Pseudojournalism”


21 posted on 10/10/2007 2:14:25 PM PDT by knittnmom (...surrounded by reality!)
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To: Froufrou
Wait, if there is Bangkok, then they must have big feet...?


22 posted on 10/10/2007 2:35:09 PM PDT by JRios1968 (Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that God will. - Ben Stein)
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To: Froufrou

11.5 here. Looks like I am good for a few more years.


23 posted on 10/10/2007 2:38:09 PM PDT by Ronin (Bushed out!!! Another tragic victim of BDS.)
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To: Froufrou

I believe feet keep growing as you age. Other parts of you get bigger as you get older too, like ears and your nose.

I don’t know if they put the effect before the cause here or not. It would seem obvious that the older you are the bigger your feet will get.


24 posted on 10/10/2007 3:06:56 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man
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To: Froufrou

It’s another reason to identify with hobbits. ;-)


25 posted on 10/10/2007 3:44:07 PM PDT by RosieCotton
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To: Froufrou

Hhhhmmmm...all those of us that fall from the male Irish side of my family have big feet and tend to keel over at 65(+-) from massive heart attacks. I guess these geniuses didn’t see any correlation between big feet and barrel chested men, eh?


26 posted on 10/10/2007 10:08:48 PM PDT by neb52
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To: Froufrou
"Researchers at West Northland University have released a study directly linking longevity to foot size."

Ever wonder what all those Masters & PhD candidates do?
Wonder no more.
Enjoy [it] while you can, once they graduate they'll gravitate to other arenas such as the Enviroment issues such as Global Warming or politics.
Something worthy of a worthless education, for sure. ;^)

Only thing I've to say about feet is whenever KnI see high fashion models the first thing outa her mouth (every single time) is, "LOOK at those big feet! *All* models have big feet."

Hmmmmmm.
An esteem thing?

...the mysteries of women. :^)

27 posted on 10/11/2007 6:52:04 AM PDT by Landru (finally made it to the dark side of the moon.)
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To: RosieCotton

Oh, dear, I wear a 6. My mom wears a 5 1/2.


28 posted on 10/11/2007 6:58:19 AM PDT by Tuscaloosa Goldfinch (If MY people who are called by MY name -- the ball's in our court, folks.)
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To: Madame Dufarge

HAH! At least this site doesn’t use the F word!


29 posted on 10/11/2007 7:18:54 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: Madame Dufarge

HAH! At least this site doesn’t use the F word!


30 posted on 10/11/2007 7:19:13 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou

People with big feet live longer?

OF COURSE! They have a good solid understanding!


31 posted on 10/11/2007 7:21:50 AM PDT by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Quix; Landru

“Under, standing” Muaaaaaahahahaha!!! Took me a second!

;o)


32 posted on 10/11/2007 7:40:02 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou

Was one of my mother’s . . . very occasional ?complements? . . . when someone noted my big feet.

She had a sense of humor . . . rather askew from my reality . . . and I often felt more the brunt of it than blessed by it. But that one I somewhat enjoyed.


33 posted on 10/11/2007 7:48:22 AM PDT by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Froufrou; Quix

So what you’re saying is that people with big feet take longer to kick off? :-)


34 posted on 10/12/2007 8:56:13 AM PDT by Hegemony Cricket (You can't seriously tell me you think we need more laws, or that we don't already have too many.)
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To: Hegemony Cricket

CONGRATS!

What a stinky-feet-pun!

Well done.


35 posted on 10/12/2007 8:59:16 AM PDT by Quix (GOD ALONE IS GOD; WORTHY; PAID THE PRICE; IS COMING AGAIN; KNOWS ALL; IS LOVING; IS ALTOGETHER GOOD)
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To: Hegemony Cricket; Snardius; snarks_when_bored; sheik yerbouty; Hoosier-Daddy

My dad had the pinky toe and fourth toe of his right foot connected. Good swimmer, but he veered to the left.

Feeling silly Friday ping!


36 posted on 10/12/2007 9:00:34 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou
13EEE here. Bow before me, lesser (lived) mortals!

And ladies, sorry to disappoint, but I'm taken.

37 posted on 10/12/2007 9:00:44 AM PDT by kevkrom (The religion of global warming: "There is no goddess but Gaia and Al Gore is her profit.")
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To: kevkrom

Dang! Late to the party again! ;o)


38 posted on 10/12/2007 9:02:49 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: Froufrou
"My dad had the pinky toe and fourth toe of his right foot connected."

Was his name Web? < grinning, running, and ducking >
39 posted on 10/12/2007 1:50:18 PM PDT by Hegemony Cricket (You can't seriously tell me you think we need more laws, or that we don't already have too many.)
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To: Hegemony Cricket

The way I worded it, I’d expected to be asked, “why’d he have his toes connected?” when I meant he was born that way!


40 posted on 10/12/2007 2:30:40 PM PDT by Froufrou
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