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It’s discouraging to realize that looks seem to override all other factors for a guy to find a woman attractive.

That's not exactly true (see my post #80 for a long winded explanation). As I said in #80, a man needs to feel some physical attraction for his mate, even if it's only a little bit. I don't need much if she's the kind of person I want to be with. However, looks is the first thing men notice, for better or for worse. Most of us, once we get to know a woman, would gladly be with an average lady if she was the right one. The beauty queens might look good, but they aren't necessarily the ones you want to take home.

Actually, I find it a little more fun to be with an 'average' lady. Most average ladies are attractive enough to me. But I know how hard it is for them wondering if they are good looking enough to keep their men. Letting them know in no uncertain terms that you want them has got to be one of the biggest boosts you can give a person like that.

It’s also discouraging to hear you say that someone is “out of your league.”

Maybe it is discouraging, but I also believe it to be true. Let's face it. I'm not Brad Pitt. It'd be nice if I were, but it ain't happening. I don't have six pack abs (although, to be fair, I'm doing ok in other departments). I'm 5'10" and 215 lbs. That's about 20 pounds too many for me. I'm 25 and my hairline is receding at an alarming rate. And these are just the not so attractive things about me that I'm willing to publicly air; this is not an exhaustive listing. It's just the cold hard truth: bombshell hotties aren't going to be interested. But I don't mind saying that either because a comfortable lie is worse than the painful truth.

Being “not nice” is the number one turnoff for me in a man and if he is not nice then I am too good for him.

I think that's simply prudent and self-evident, although I'm not sure what you mean by nice. A lot of people think I'm a nice guy, and maybe I am but don't think I'm not a typical male either. I might be a nice guy, but I still like fast cars, action movies, guns, hunting, rock music, and generally anything with a high top speed and lots of horsepower. This description of the normal male doesn't fit into society's mold of 'nice' these days.

One more thing I’d say to the guys who are focused on looks (all of you?) is that a lot of average looking women can look pretty spectacular if they are dressed up, wearing makeup, and have their hair done.

Yes they can. I can think of a couple of examples. For that matter, I think that's true of most famous people who are thought to be good looking. The link at the end of your post proves that.

If you meet them at the hardware store wearing sweat pants with paint in their hair, they aren’t at their best!

Well, that can be hot too in its own way. At least for some women it can. This is going to sound weird; I'll notice an attractive woman first, but once I get to know her and get close to her, I feel fine seeing her in sweat pants after having worked all day. It's a sign of trust on her part; she doesn't have to put up an image around me. One of the big problems I have with dating (and the main reason I don't do it) is that you never get to know someone dating them because they're on their best behavior. You don't see the real person underneath, physically or otherwise. My best friend got married a year ago, and I don't see how they do it. They just became friends and then got married after dating for a while. I don't see how they could really know each other. This is going to sound weird, but I find it easier to be more attracted to women that I've been friends with when they've experienced something awful in their lives. I know how that sounds, but when someone goes through something it tends to tear away all the image and you get the real person. Then you see how they deal with adversity and you know who you really have. You see what kind of morality they really have, and what kind of character they have.

My unsolicited advice: Try not to be self-conscious about your receding hairline. The older you get and the older your age range of women get, the less significant it becomes. I have dated several guys with various degrees of baldness and my favorite was the most bald. He just had the “horseshoe” of hair left. A big factor in his attractiveness was that he was SO unselfconscious about his hair. It’s not just me, I know some incredibly attractive women who have fallen for “baldies.”

The 20 lbs. you could work on, but if you don’t, that’s not disastrous. Again, as you get older it becomes less and less of an issue. I like a man who is fit, but I’d rather date a guy with a few extra pounds than one who is self-absorbed about his looks and obsessed with working out. I work out, but there’s a point where too much becomes excessive.

When I said “nice” I didn’t mean metrosexual or anything like that. Guns, cars, hunting - all just fine. Speaking just for myself (though I think there are many women like me), I like action movies, but not gory stuff. Car chases are fine. Shootouts are fine. Gratuitous violence - yechh. I’d happily go with a guy to see something like Mission Impossible, or the Bourne Whatever. It would also be nice if he’d go to see a romantic comedy with me - doesn’t have to be sappy - in fact I hate tearjerkers where I just feel emotionally manipulated. At any rate, when I say nice, I mean someone who treats others as he wishes to be treated, someone who is courteous and considerate. I don’t mean someone who is into poetry and cats. I would be a little suspicious of a guy who was into poetry and cats unless it was in addition to some more “guy” interests.

One word of warning - If you meet someone at a terrible time in her life you also might not get to see the real her. It is easy to want to be the knight in shining armor and for her to want that. Be sure that there is something else going for you as a couple after the bad situation is gone. Be sure you don’t get used. That has happened to me - bailing out a guy who didn’t really love me, just wanted my money and emotional support - not a good scene.

I loved your last paragraph. I predict you are going to find someone one of these days, probably when you are not even really looking, and she is going to appreciate what a super guy you are. You sound like a real catch. Don’t shortchange yourself.