My unsolicited advice: Try not to be self-conscious about your receding hairline. The older you get and the older your age range of women get, the less significant it becomes. I have dated several guys with various degrees of baldness and my favorite was the most bald. He just had the “horseshoe” of hair left. A big factor in his attractiveness was that he was SO unselfconscious about his hair. It’s not just me, I know some incredibly attractive women who have fallen for “baldies.”
The 20 lbs. you could work on, but if you don’t, that’s not disastrous. Again, as you get older it becomes less and less of an issue. I like a man who is fit, but I’d rather date a guy with a few extra pounds than one who is self-absorbed about his looks and obsessed with working out. I work out, but there’s a point where too much becomes excessive.
When I said “nice” I didn’t mean metrosexual or anything like that. Guns, cars, hunting - all just fine. Speaking just for myself (though I think there are many women like me), I like action movies, but not gory stuff. Car chases are fine. Shootouts are fine. Gratuitous violence - yechh. I’d happily go with a guy to see something like Mission Impossible, or the Bourne Whatever. It would also be nice if he’d go to see a romantic comedy with me - doesn’t have to be sappy - in fact I hate tearjerkers where I just feel emotionally manipulated. At any rate, when I say nice, I mean someone who treats others as he wishes to be treated, someone who is courteous and considerate. I don’t mean someone who is into poetry and cats. I would be a little suspicious of a guy who was into poetry and cats unless it was in addition to some more “guy” interests.
One word of warning - If you meet someone at a terrible time in her life you also might not get to see the real her. It is easy to want to be the knight in shining armor and for her to want that. Be sure that there is something else going for you as a couple after the bad situation is gone. Be sure you don’t get used. That has happened to me - bailing out a guy who didn’t really love me, just wanted my money and emotional support - not a good scene.
I loved your last paragraph. I predict you are going to find someone one of these days, probably when you are not even really looking, and she is going to appreciate what a super guy you are. You sound like a real catch. Don’t shortchange yourself.