Your comments about women and power are what I have observed. I didn’t mean to say that men liked women with power. I meant to say that a woman’s power was her looks, i.e., that men look primarily for a good looking woman. Very few men care about whether a woman has a high-ranking position and in fact many prefer that she does not. A woman with the type of power traditionally associated with men (brains, status, rank) is often UNattractive to men.
You ask whether a woman would want someone who can be President. I think for a lot of women the answer is yes. For some, this would be compatible with their goals. For others, they are naive and don’t realize what type of relationship that would imply. Most who really think about it wouldn’t want a man with quite that much power because they would realize that he would not be, in your words, “someone who can focus more on the relationship.”
Also, I believe power is different for different women. For some, it is intellectual power, some go for fame, some for social status, some for the biggest guy with the most physical strength, some for the guy who dominates the conversation. All of these characterstics are relative. I’ve seen women who go for the highest ranking guy in the company, but as soon as they are working at a different company, their preference changes to the highest ranking guy at the new company.
Fortunately, we all value different things, and it’s not just a single trait but a combination. If my point about power were strictly true, then George Bush and Bill Gates would be two of the very few desirable men. Obviously that’s not the case.
I appreciate your point about women who fall for abusive men. I know a lot of decent guys who see this and are angered by it. I don’t blame them. Actually, I find it infuriating as well. The flip side for women is the guy who puts up with a woman who treats him like dirt, strings him along, orders him around like a servant. Those of us who are considerate of others and looking for a balanced relationship don’t understand why a guy would put up with that no matter how good looking the woman is.
Of course nothing is as simplistic as these generalizations describe, and obviously there are exceptions too numerous to mention.
Thanks for your post.
The son or daughter of an alcoholic is more likely to marry or be involved with an alcoholic or be an alcoholic themselves.
The same goes for someone whose mother or father is in a abusive relationship(s) the chances are their relationships will be abusive whether by them or their partner.
IMHO there are a very few women that get involved in abusive relationships due to the fact that they want a strong alpha male but instead get an abusive bully. IMHO in most cases men or women in abusive relationships are in them because that is their only experience of how relationships work and therefore there is in a strange way a sense of familiarity and comfort zone.
Bonus Questions
1. What was your favorite toy when you were a kid?
2. How many of your friends from high school do you still see or talk to at least once every year or so?
3. If someone offered you four million dollars and the necessary support to try to climb Mount Everest within the next two years (and told you that the mortality rate is about five or ten percent), would you attempt to make the climb?
To some extent, this trait could mitigate a relationship caste system. Of course, the problem is still that the best-looking woman who likes guys with a particular kind of power ends up getting the guy with the most of that power and vice-versa. In some ways, that's a discouraging way to look at relationships.
Fortunately, we all value different things, and it’s not just a single trait but a combination. If my point about power were strictly true, then George Bush and Bill Gates would be two of the very few desirable men. Obviously that’s not the case.
Again, the combination factor mitigates the idea of a caste system in relationships. To the extent that it works, that factor gives everyone a chance to find someone that he or she would find desirable. I'm not sure that it's obvious that Bill Gates and George Bush aren't too of the most desirable men. If either of them lost his wife, I can't imagine either of them having a hard time meeting women.
I appreciate your point about women who fall for abusive men. I know a lot of decent guys who see this and are angered by it. I don’t blame them. Actually, I find it infuriating as well. The flip side for women is the guy who puts up with a woman who treats him like dirt, strings him along, orders him around like a servant. Those of us who are considerate of others and looking for a balanced relationship don’t understand why a guy would put up with that no matter how good looking the woman is.
One of the most frustrating things for many of us who aren't doing well in relationships is the thought that we must either choose to be in a relationship where we abuse our partner, choose a relationship where we are abused by our partner, or choose a relationship with someone who doesn't inspire any feelings at all.
Relationships are an odd topic. Thanks for giving your insights.
Bill