Posted on 09/16/2007 5:30:25 AM PDT by RobFromGa
I have had a few FReepermails from people lately that are ready to deal with their addiction problems and want to quit but it is challenging.
I can't post details but do they really matter anyway? Anyone that has been there knows the feelings that are provoked by the thought of quitting. And the deal-making behavior that we try in order to be able to continue to consume.
I myself will be 4 years sober on October 8, and I appreciate all the help that I got along the way, and continue to get.
I am asking the Recovery community to psot their messages of encouragement and to give useful advice to our fellow human being that might be on the cusp of quitting and who need our best advice.
What would you tell a friend that asked you:
I want to quit booze (or drugs), I really do, but I need help...
Thanks in advance for your great advice...
Note: If you are just going to be negative, please find another thread to post on, please.
Sponsor - "You don't have to go to meetings. You can stay drunk. You only have to go until you want to go. Here's how it works. Rarely have we seen a person fail...."
We all do it one day at a time.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
I appreciate it, but I think all of us who participate in this work of helping gain just as much as those we are helping. Reinforcement, and it causes us to reexamine our commitments.
Thanks Diana for sharing and for pointing out the importance of getting help in the real world and not just the cyber-world.
Today is the best day to start.
Now is the best moment.
Get it into your head that you do not drink.
Not do not drink any more, but you do not drink, period.
It may be rough at the start, hour to hour, one day at a time, and find something else to do so you do not obscess about drinking. A hobby, a second job, whatever.
Clean out your house, get rid of whatever you have, if it is valuable, sell it, if not dump it, but deliver yourself from temptation.
If you do go out drink pop--stay away from things which taste like something they aren't, like near beers and virgin Marys.
Don't even go close to the edge, you are playing with your life here, worse than a 4 year old playing with a cocked and loaded gun.
Go to AA meetings if it helps, if it doesn't try another chapter.
Observe the people there and don't lie to them or yourself. There are some good tools there, but you have to pick them up and use them. Above all, ask God for guidance. I really don't think it can be done without God involved.
Things won't get better right away.
They will even seem worse for a while as you discover just what a mess you have managed to make of things (if you haven't you are blessed).
But after six months or so, things start picking up--if you will work to make your life better.
It isn't instant, it is not the objective, it is a waypoint, a stepping stone to a better life. The rest will become what you make of it.
It can be done, and after a while you will not miss it. (since 1/1/89)
I was kidding about the chocolate, I have no strong feelings against it or for it.
Whatever works and keeps anyone clean and sober works for me.
So much to say.
I think that if one “thinks they have a problem, then probably do.” I think that if one doesn’t hit their bottom or find their bottom then there’s always more room at the bottom.
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Were we the fifth in line at the liquor store in the morning? Did we go to another store outside your area because your afraid of being seen?
Did we hide our bottles?
Do you have the shakes yet?
Are you sure a toilet is used for another purpose than what your using it for?
Do you no longer go outside and do those things you used to love to do?
Do you no longer have sex?
Do you sleep a lot or just need one more to get to sleep?
Would you like to dream again?
Tell me all about your big plans for anything.
I have heard it said that the time when we feel most in control is the time when we are in the least. I have given you an insight in to parts of my past, use what you can but remember the rest. We all take different paths to our bottom but it’s the same road.When you do decide to stop using and seek recovery it will be the scariest, best time of your life. What do I mean? For the last (fill in the blank)years we have traded our lives away a little piece at a time so we could pursue our addictions. Now imagine getting all of that and more back. Pretty sweet!
We all hold the key, the power to stop. But to stay clean and sober will take help.
Living life one day at a time while on the surface sounds direction less and aimless but you have no idea the freedom it will give you.
Just another friend of Bill.
Double Deuce congrats!
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife, I hope she can recover from her addiction. It is such a sad thing to watch.
Thanks for the comments.
I am so glad that you shared those additional resources and insight with the group. I can’t get naabi.org to work.
“I want to quit booze (or drugs), I really do, but I need help...”
It’s always best to have them admit this when they are hung over because they’re usually more receptive to listening to solutions. I would share my experience and accompany them to the closest meeting - walking in the doors for the first time alone is scary as hell. For me, staying sober isn’t tough, it was getting sober that was.
My husband has been sober 23 yrs, my son, about 10 and this is an edited letter that I sent to my other son the other day. It was my little intervention.
Subject: Okay, this part is going to make you mad
I do see a huge chance that you can get what you want if you are patient. Hopefully, we will be in better financial shape and can help you also.
The part that is going to make you mad is that I think you should go to Alcoholics Anonymous. People don’t like drunks and if you do something about it you have one more tool in a whole box of tools and I guarantee your life will change for the better.
Now you may not think you are an alcholic but that doesn’t matter, your drinking has affected people in your life and your attitude sucks and it shows. Anyone can see that and I didn’t realize it was so obvious until I spent some time with you.
You were delightful when you were home until you went with John and got drunk and afterwards for 2 days you were an asshole. You were tough on the kids too.
You are an exceptional person and about as smart as they come when it comes to so many things but it seems to me that you have drowned your anger and frustration during this time more than ever in alcohol. AA will help you get to know yourself more than anything and it is something you really need to know.
If you choose not to go to AA, I will still love you and I will still fight for you. I think you are an amazing person who has fought for everything that you have. You were always there for people even when it meant that you didn’t have a life. Not many men are as good a person as you are and have been. I love and respect you so much.
I’ve been wanting to say this for a long time and I’m saying it out of the love of a mother. You know that I’ve been through it and I can’t tell you the difference sobriety makes in a life. I’ve seen your dad and your brother rise above it and seen how much happier they are and how much happier all the people in their lives are.
Anyway, I could write all day but I’ll stop here with a prayer that you will listen to me but with the knowledge that you are always my son and we all love you more than you can know.
Ain't that the truth. There is $10,000 worth of recovery advice in that sentence. (Just don't try to collect!)
Congratulations on almost 5 months sober. Glad to hear that it is the BEST thing you’ve done in your life.
All of us who are defeating these addiction demons, and enjoying doing so, should help those still struggling to see that there is a GREAT LIFE on the other side of the bottle.
A GREAT LIFE, undiminished, and BETTER.
Congrats on 19 months today! Fantastic accomplishment, keep at it...
Thanks, that is all great advice...
Quiting booze is easy. I’ve done it a couple of dozen times.
Thanks for all the questions that might indicate that one has a problem. For the alcoholic or addict, it appears that everything good and fun in life revolves around the buzz.
It is only after we are clean and sober that we can see how wrong that thinking is. It is a real catch-22.
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