Posted on 09/16/2007 5:30:25 AM PDT by RobFromGa
I have had a few FReepermails from people lately that are ready to deal with their addiction problems and want to quit but it is challenging.
I can't post details but do they really matter anyway? Anyone that has been there knows the feelings that are provoked by the thought of quitting. And the deal-making behavior that we try in order to be able to continue to consume.
I myself will be 4 years sober on October 8, and I appreciate all the help that I got along the way, and continue to get.
I am asking the Recovery community to psot their messages of encouragement and to give useful advice to our fellow human being that might be on the cusp of quitting and who need our best advice.
What would you tell a friend that asked you:
I want to quit booze (or drugs), I really do, but I need help...
Thanks in advance for your great advice...
Note: If you are just going to be negative, please find another thread to post on, please.
My thread that has my story is here...
If You Suspect You Might Have A Drinking Problem (An Open Letter)
A few other links:
Judge says alcoholism no disease
No Hangovers for Two Years!
Recovering Freeper In Need
Congrats on your anniversary! You are an inspiration to many.
Are you willing to go any length?
Assume that they answer, "I think so, but I don't know what you mean. What lengths do I need to go to?"
I'd start 'em off with a line from a little-known Grant Lee Buffalo song:
Oh it kills me to think
That I'm no longer living, just looking for excuses to drink...
And then tell them there are a lot of people out there who would be more than glad to get you to start living again. But they can't do squat until the choice is made by the person in question to want to live. Because addiction is, at the end of the day, a slow suicide.
Whatever it takes. Let's start with 90 in 90
Then the answer is your not ready, because you only think so and do not realize that the end is forever! You have to know so and not care how long the road is!
I agree that there are may people that are ready to help. And that it is super-important that anyone wanting to quit get real live PEOPLE living in the real world involved in helping them.
This cannot be solved just communicating with people over the Internet. It is jsut too easy to start lying to yourself and your cyber-friends. You need to look people in the eye and connect, we can only help with encouragement over the Internet.
So the point is that you need to really be committed to actually physically really quitting, and not to TRYING to quit.
As the wise philosopher said “There is no try, only do”
Congratulations on your anniversary. Each day sober is a blessing to you, your loved ones and co-workers.
I think if anyone asked me, I’d emphasize the ‘one day at a time’ aspect of the AA program. It’s too hard to look to the long, indefinite future without your booze/drugs, whatever your dependency is. But in bite-sizes, like one day at a time, most people can do it.
Some years ago I heard a story of 3 AA’s getting together for lunch. One asked how long each had been sober. One said 15 years, the other 10. They then asked the questioner .. how long have YOU been sober and s/he said ‘since I got up this morning.’ Even after many years of AA, for many it’s still just that one day.
Exactly. Trying leaves out the commitment. With a commitment you can fail, but you will keep going until success is realized. When you just try, that gives you the out.
Thanks for saying that, I appreciate every day sober and I appreciate all my FRiends here who are also such an inspiration to many.
Ya’ll have doen much good over the years with these threads, we have about a dozen people who have communicated with me who we have helped, and there are probably more we don’t know about.
This is a hard subject for many because it is a hard thing to admit to friends and family (as if they aren’t already aware) and we need to sometimes talk with strangers to realize that we are not alone in this.
Accept the fact that you will not be able to hang with your drinking buddies, like you used to do. If you think you can, you can not be serious about changing.
What I later realized was, I was only putting off my problems, therefore compounding them. Now, whenever I get the urge to drink, I bring up the image of myself looking into the mirror, and saying “no more”. I don’t want to let myself down. I also turned to god, and asked him for help and support.
That is a very good point. Not only might you need to change friends, but you might need to change a lot of the environment that you are used to hanging around in that triggers memories of your behavior.
In my case, after quitting, I was amazed at the amount of time it created. Not feeling bad and also not having to spend the time drinking gave me a TON of time. Find hobbies and other interests and FILL THE TIME. AA is one good time-filler, find some others as well. Pick up a new hobby and get into it. Volunteer for the Fred Thompson campaign! whatever, remember the line about idle hands and the devil?
That is a powerful idea. It is a simple and effective mental marker that you have established in your mind. In my case, I have a memory of being on vacation on a street in San Juan, P.R. and being tempted to have one drink because I had been "good", and saying "Hell No" out loud to myself.
That would be my advice. Give your life over to God. As St Paul said: “When I am weak, He is strong”. I can’t imagine overcoming any challenge in life without the strength of God, because I can’t do it alone.
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