Posted on 08/31/2007 5:34:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
LABOR DAY WEEKEND IS UPON US
"Labor Day differs in every essential way from the other holidays of the year in any country," said Samuel Gompers, founder and longtime president of the American Federation of Labor. "All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with conflicts and battles of man's prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, of glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor Day...is devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race, or nation."
Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.
To most people in North America, however, Labor Day is above all the last-blast of summer fun, and --for many schoolkids-- the last day of freedom before Back to School. And even though many school districts now start classes in August, Labor Day long weekend is still a five-star farewell to summer time.
So sit back and relax this weekend...
Drink a cold one...
And enjoy some time off....
"What I don't understand about Labor Day is, if it's to honor the working man, how come Democrats get a holiday, too?"
aaaaaarule 23 should read as follows:
No matter how much you plan, there is always one more S..O..B than you counted on.
Happy Labor Day
Any plans for the weekend?
You forgot this one:
http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=c5e6120a-be10-4497-8f32-cd8585e5ca33&k=51234
Climate change could be causing cougar attacks: expert
and this one:
http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,501145,00.html
The poor old Scandinavian moose is now being blamed for climate change, with researchers in Norway claiming that a grown moose can produce 2,100 kilos of carbon dioxide a year — equivalent to the CO2 output resulting from a 13,000 kilometer car journey.
Maybe if the cougar killed the moose...
As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember :
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It’s called “Ministers Do More Than Lay People.”
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it’s gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
8. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
9. A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.”
10. Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoying sex.
11. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a woman in the convertible
ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom! That lady
isn’t wearing a seat belt!’
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The
opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily
those of his parents.’
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of
the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she
asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right
now. She’s hitting the bottle.’
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself
in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted,
the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter,
haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an
elementary school, I was interrupted by a little
girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
my uniform, she asked, ‘Are you a cop?’
‘Yes,’ I answered and continued writing the report.
‘My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask
the police. Is that right?’ ‘Yes, that’s right,’ I told her.
‘Well, then,’ she said as she extended her foot toward
me, ‘would you please tie my shoe?’
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van
in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my
K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy
staring in at me ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he
asked. ‘It sure is,’ I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked
at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he
said, ‘What’d he do?’
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches
to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’ ‘And why not,
darling?’ ‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,
our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly
made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and
his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.”
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother.
‘I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk!’
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’ With astonishment in
the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s
underwear.’
TOMKOW you going get so busted by KGB on that ROFL
BTW did you hear Russia plan go to moon by 2025 according to speech by Vlady so does that mean next time we see you next time is you be chase by Vlady and Looter guy
Passed to me, and so I pass it on, with a note that this almost covers my own toddler to a “T”...
The Toddler’s Creed
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it is a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached - at any cost.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked and eaten.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a wax crayon or permanent marker, it must write on the refrigerator, furniture, floor and/or walls.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting filled.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be rolled upon.
If it is a stroller, it must, under no circumstances, be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back and endless screaming.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon - preferably with a very hard object.
If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled open and - if at all possible - pulled completely out.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it isn’t a toothbrush, it must also be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must scream to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn’t stick on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it sticks on my spoon, the spoon must be dropped on the floor.
If it is NOT food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must NOT be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, juice, pee, or toilet water.
LOL! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!
LOL! So cute.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.