Posted on 08/31/2007 5:34:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
LABOR DAY WEEKEND IS UPON US
"Labor Day differs in every essential way from the other holidays of the year in any country," said Samuel Gompers, founder and longtime president of the American Federation of Labor. "All other holidays are in a more or less degree connected with conflicts and battles of man's prowess over man, of strife and discord for greed and power, of glories achieved by one nation over another. Labor Day...is devoted to no man, living or dead, to no sect, race, or nation."
Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.
To most people in North America, however, Labor Day is above all the last-blast of summer fun, and --for many schoolkids-- the last day of freedom before Back to School. And even though many school districts now start classes in August, Labor Day long weekend is still a five-star farewell to summer time.
So sit back and relax this weekend...
Drink a cold one...
And enjoy some time off....
"What I don't understand about Labor Day is, if it's to honor the working man, how come Democrats get a holiday, too?"
You're evil
In. Need more coffe. Stat.
That is one cool bottle, zer0!
Subject: Idiot Sightings, They Do Walk Among Us!!!
IDIOT SIGHTING: I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears
repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
“large” enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that
we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower. He
shook his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.” I responded
that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, “NO, it’s not. Four is larger than
two.” We haven’t used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer
are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for
them to be crossing anymore.” From Kingman , KS .
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for “minimal
lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
Yep... From Kansas City !
IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge. To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge,
how would I know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we
ask.” Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine. She asked if knew what the buzzer was for. I explained
that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she
responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!” She was a probation
officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to “downsizing.” Our manager commented
cheerfully, “This is fun. We should do this more often.” Not another
word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn’t understand
why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County
Sheriffs office no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger
side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was
unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “its open! His reply, “I
know - I already got that side.” This was at the Ford dealership in
Canton , Mississippi
Inside the fence, he hears many people shouting together: "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!".
Curious, he finds a hole in the fence and peeks in.
Someone pokes him in the eye with a stick, and they all yell "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!".
I have 27 “Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery” in my office on a clock I got at the Air Force museum.
If I paid attention to ALL the e-mail I got last year....
I would no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I would no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I would no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I would no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
I would no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans .
I would no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I would no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with an infected needle.
I would no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I would no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I would no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I would no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician...
retirement? i’ve only got 24 years, 1 month, 27 days left. :)
Honorable Ninja Farm
and Honorable Ninja Farm -2!
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