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****THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD****
Famous One-Liners and Action Heroes ^

Posted on 08/24/2007 5:31:58 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

 

Action Heroes - One Liners

The 1980s were the golden age of the one-liner, with the films of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Clint Eastwood, and the ascension of such screenwriters as Steven E. de Souza and Shane Black, who penned many of the decade's high-concept action and buddy movies (Die Hard, Commando, and Lethal Weapon chief among them). Yet, like many action film conventions, the one-liner has roots in other genres. In the landmark Western The Searchers (1956), John Wayne growled, "That'll be the day," prompting Buddy Holly to immortalize the catchphrase in a hit single the following year. And not only did the James Bond franchise give us "Bond—James Bond," but lines such as "Shocking! Positively shocking!"; "He had to fly"; and "He got the boot" prove that Bond also gave action films their penchant for punning. Throughout the series, Bond's cheeky dialogue defuses the emotion of a given scene, just as the one-liner does throughout the action genre.

Such glibness lays bare the action hero's core reticence. "I ain't got time to bleed," insists Predator's Jesse Ventura, who would repurpose the line for the title of his book, "I Ain't Got Time To Bleed: Reworking the Body Politic From the Bottom Up". Less quoted but even more germane is the declaration by Road House's Patrick Swayze, "Pain don't hurt." A contradiction, yes, but one that defines both the action hero and, more literally, one of the genre's most iconic roles: the title character of The Terminator.

That 1984 movie inaugurated Arnold Schwarzenegger's signature, "I'll be back." In this case, the one-liner is funny only in hindsight, as the cyborg comes right back, fully armed and with a pickup-truck-of-mass-destruction to boot. Reversing the typical action-sequence structure, the quip is the set-up, the violence is the punch line. There is nothing especially remarkable about "I'll be back" (it is not, after all, Cobra's "You're the disease, and I'm the cure," a line noted by the press six months before the film's 1986 opening). Even so, "I'll be back" distills the action movie's ritualistic appeal. The pleasure of hearing it said from movie to movie is the same as hearing a story told time after time.
 

Many one-liners are bad, if treasured, puns (Arnold put his stamp on "You're fired" long before Donald did). Others display a wit that we might grudgingly concede ("Barbeque, huh? How do you like your ribs?"). The one-liner is also remarkably versatile. It spans the grandiose ("I'm going to show you God does exist"; "I'm your worst nightmare") to the minimalist ("Get off my plane"; "Whoah"). It ranges from the functional ("Dead or alive, you're coming with me") to the iconic ("Go ahead … make my day"). And while some are uninspired ("It's time to die"), others are absurd ("I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass—and I'm all out of bubble gum"), self-referential ("No sequel for you"), and sardonic ("Go ahead … I don't shop here").  

Most one-liners articulate the hero's self-regard (or in Harry Callahan's case, regard for his .44 Magnum), and why shouldn't they? The action genre is primarily an exercise in hero-worship.

"Yippee Ki Yay Mother F***er!!"
~ John McClane


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: actionhero; ofst; oneliners
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To: SevenofNine; AZamericonnie; Old Sarge; 2LT Radix jr; Radix; Kathy in Alaska; kjfine; HiJinx; ...
Marriage (Part III) 
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. 
After some time, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" 
She says, "I was in bed." 
"In bed this early, doing what?" 
"Getting a second opinion!"

81 posted on 08/24/2007 8:40:39 AM PDT by tomkow6 (........pickin' my nose, bit by bit......)
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To: girlscout

he was a guest on the rosie odonnell show.

that’s about all i can think of.


82 posted on 08/24/2007 8:41:44 AM PDT by absolootezer0 (stop repeat offenders- don't re-elect them!)
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To: nuke rocketeer

83 posted on 08/24/2007 8:42:10 AM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Lucky9teen

“It’s not the years Hon, it’s the mileage”. ~Indiana Jones


84 posted on 08/24/2007 8:43:31 AM PDT by Apple Blossom (...around here, city hall is something of a between meals snack.)
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To: nuke rocketeer
Your picture reminde me of this album:

85 posted on 08/24/2007 8:45:14 AM PDT by NCC-1701 (PUT AN END TO ORGANIZED CRIME. ABOLISH THE I.R.S.)
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To: Fawn; Maximus of Texas

(c) max

Well hello there!!


86 posted on 08/24/2007 8:50:00 AM PDT by wallcrawlr
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To: tomkow6

A large macho man and his diminutive, but attractive young wife had just gotten married and were in their honeymoon suites. the man takes off his pants and throws them to his young wife and tells her to put them on. She puts them on, only to immediately have them fall right off.
the man says, “now you know, *I’M* the one that wears the pants in this family!”
she looks at him and nods meekly.
She then quietly sits down and removes her panties and hands them to him, and tells him to put them on.
He takes one look at them and doesn’t even bother to try them on, “there’s no way i can get into these” he exclaims
she replies “that’s right, and you’re not going to get in my panties until you change your attitude!”


87 posted on 08/24/2007 8:50:01 AM PDT by absolootezer0 (stop repeat offenders- don't re-elect them!)
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To: shbox

88 posted on 08/24/2007 8:50:14 AM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Lucky9teen

“Where ever you go ... there you are.” (Buckaroo Banzai)

“Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, “Give me your best shot. I can take it.” (Jack Burton - Big Trouble in Little China)


89 posted on 08/24/2007 8:50:56 AM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: CholeraJoe

90 posted on 08/24/2007 8:51:12 AM PDT by BenLurkin
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To: Lucky9teen
WHOOPS! Almost lost my head.

91 posted on 08/24/2007 8:51:31 AM PDT by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: BenLurkin

92 posted on 08/24/2007 8:53:48 AM PDT by CJ Wolf
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To: shbox
Spiderman: defeated.....


93 posted on 08/24/2007 8:56:50 AM PDT by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: Sax

I thought Lysol was just for gargling....


94 posted on 08/24/2007 8:57:37 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
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To: wallcrawlr

Howdy...


95 posted on 08/24/2007 8:57:47 AM PDT by EX52D (Proud to have served our country...)
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To: Jo Nuvark

It wasn’t an action movie, but some of the best lines came from Burgess Meredith in “Grumpy Old Men”:

“Looks like Chuck’s taking the log to the beaver!”

“Kids!! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t shoot ‘em.”


96 posted on 08/24/2007 8:58:32 AM PDT by fredhead (Teach a man to fish.......and he'll fish for a lifetime.)
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To: JRios1968
Superheroes Retirement Home


97 posted on 08/24/2007 9:01:20 AM PDT by Daffynition (The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.)
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To: fredhead

Wang Chi: Here’s to the Army and Navy, and the battles they have won. Here’s to America’s colors, the colors that never run.
Jack Burton: May the wings of Liberty never lose a feather.


98 posted on 08/24/2007 9:05:10 AM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: BenLurkin

Now thats what I call art.


99 posted on 08/24/2007 9:08:36 AM PDT by shbox
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To: absolootezer0; AZamericonnie; Old Sarge; 2LT Radix jr; Radix; Kathy in Alaska; kjfine; HiJinx; ...
Marriage (Part IV) 
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. 
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. 
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. 
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?' 
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

100 posted on 08/24/2007 9:08:50 AM PDT by tomkow6 (........pickin' my nose, bit by bit......)
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