[absolootezer0]

A large macho man and his diminutive, but attractive young wife had just gotten married and were in their honeymoon suites. the man takes off his pants and throws them to his young wife and tells her to put them on. She puts them on, only to immediately have them fall right off.
the man says, “now you know, *I’M* the one that wears the pants in this family!”
she looks at him and nods meekly.
She then quietly sits down and removes her panties and hands them to him, and tells him to put them on.
He takes one look at them and doesn’t even bother to try them on, “there’s no way i can get into these” he exclaims
she replies “that’s right, and you’re not going to get in my panties until you change your attitude!”

[tomkow6]

Marriage (Part IV) 
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. 
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. 
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. 
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?' 
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."