Posted on 08/24/2007 5:31:58 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Action Heroes - One Liners
The 1980s were the golden age of the one-liner, with the films of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris, and Clint Eastwood, and the ascension of such screenwriters as Steven E. de Souza and Shane Black, who penned many of the decade's high-concept action and buddy movies (Die Hard, Commando, and Lethal Weapon chief among them). Yet, like many action film conventions, the one-liner has roots in other genres. In the landmark Western The Searchers (1956), John Wayne growled, "That'll be the day," prompting Buddy Holly to immortalize the catchphrase in a hit single the following year. And not only did the James Bond franchise give us "Bond—James Bond," but lines such as "Shocking! Positively shocking!"; "He had to fly"; and "He got the boot" prove that Bond also gave action films their penchant for punning. Throughout the series, Bond's cheeky dialogue defuses the emotion of a given scene, just as the one-liner does throughout the action genre.
Such glibness lays bare the action hero's core reticence. "I ain't got time to bleed," insists Predator's Jesse Ventura, who would repurpose the line for the title of his book, "I Ain't Got Time To Bleed: Reworking the Body Politic From the Bottom Up". Less quoted but even more germane is the declaration by Road House's Patrick Swayze, "Pain don't hurt." A contradiction, yes, but one that defines both the action hero and, more literally, one of the genre's most iconic roles: the title character of The Terminator.
That 1984 movie inaugurated Arnold Schwarzenegger's signature, "I'll be back." In this case, the one-liner is funny only in hindsight, as the cyborg comes right back, fully armed and with a pickup-truck-of-mass-destruction to boot. Reversing the typical action-sequence structure, the quip is the set-up, the violence is the punch line. There is nothing especially remarkable about "I'll be back" (it is not, after all, Cobra's "You're the disease, and I'm the cure," a line noted by the press six months before the film's 1986 opening). Even so, "I'll be back" distills the action movie's ritualistic appeal. The pleasure of hearing it said from movie to movie is the same as hearing a story told time after time.
Many one-liners are bad, if treasured, puns (Arnold put his stamp on "You're fired" long before Donald did). Others display a wit that we might grudgingly concede ("Barbeque, huh? How do you like your ribs?"). The one-liner is also remarkably versatile. It spans the grandiose ("I'm going to show you God does exist"; "I'm your worst nightmare") to the minimalist ("Get off my plane"; "Whoah"). It ranges from the functional ("Dead or alive, you're coming with me") to the iconic ("Go ahead … make my day"). And while some are uninspired ("It's time to die"), others are absurd ("I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass—and I'm all out of bubble gum"), self-referential ("No sequel for you"), and sardonic ("Go ahead … I don't shop here").
Most one-liners articulate the hero's self-regard (or in Harry Callahan's case, regard for his .44 Magnum), and why shouldn't they? The action genre is primarily an exercise in hero-worship.
"Yippee Ki Yay Mother F***er!!"
~ John McClane
You cannot count Billy Jack in that group. That was one on the all time most painful films I have ever seen.
lotta great movies.. i think i’ve seen all of them. the flynn ones were great.
You forgot Evil Ash asking the heroine to “Give me some sugar baby”
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies: 'I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week'. The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: 'I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later, a Republican comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: 'I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The Republican is very happy and leaves the shop. Next morning when the barber goes to open, there is a thank you card and a gift certificate for lunch at a nearby restaurant.
Then a Democrat comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies: 'I'm sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week' The Democrat is very happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Democrats lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between left and right.
#114 comes across as fairly creepy now.
Oh please, Democrats have no problem paying $400 for a haircut.
That one counts :)
“Yondah lies the castle of my fodah.”
Got this in an email today.
A young farm couple, Homer and Daisy, got married and just couldn’t seem to get enough lovin’. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
The problem was their nooner: It took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn’t getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do.
“Homer,” said the doctor, “just take your rifle out to the fields with you and when you’re in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Daisy’s signal to come out to you. Then you won’t lose any field time.”
They tried Doc’s advice and it worked well for a while until one day when Homer came back to the doctor’s office.
“What’s wrong?” asked the Doc.”Didn’t my idea work?”
“Oh, it worked good,” said Homer. “Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Daisy’d come runnin’. We’d find a secluded place, make love, and then she’d go back home agin.”
“Good, Homer. So what’s the problem?” asked the Doc.
“Ah mighta trained her too good. I ain’t seen her since huntin’ season started!”
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