Posted on 07/05/2007 4:05:03 PM PDT by fgoodwin
Fred Rogers, the late TV icon, told several generations of children that they were "special" just for being whoever they were. He meant well, and he was a sterling role model in many ways. But what often got lost in his self-esteem-building patter was the idea that being special comes from working hard and having high expectations for yourself.
Now Mr. Rogers, like Dr. Spock before him, has been targeted for re-evaluation. And he's not the only one. As educators and researchers struggle to define the new parameters of parenting, circa 2007, some are revisiting the language of child ego-boosting. What are the downsides of telling kids they're special?
"They're just children." When kids are rude, self-absorbed or disrespectful, some parents allow or endure it by saying, "Well, they're just children." The phrase is a worthy one when it's applied to a teachable moment, such as telling kids not to stick their fingers in electrical sockets. But as an excuse or as justification for unacceptable behavior, "They're just children" is just misguided.
"Call me Cindy." Is it appropriate to place kids on the same level as adults, with all of us calling each other by our first names? On one hand, the familiarity can mark a loving closeness between child and adult. But on the other hand, when a child calls an adult Mr. or Ms., it helps him recognize that status is earned by age and experience. It's also a reminder to respect your elders.
"Tell me about your day." It is crucial to talk to kids about their lives, and that dialogue can enrich the whole family. However, parents also need to discuss their own lives and experiences, says Alvin Rosenfeld, a Manhattan-based child psychiatrist who studies family interactions.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
Man. You start dissing on Mr. Rogers, and you’re walkin’ on the fightin’ side of me.
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood..
I had a paperback copy of Dr. Benjamin Spock’s book when I had my babies.
I did not agree with much of what he said in that book. My children were disciplined if they did wrong when they knew better. My children had chores to do so they could feel they were contributing to family life. My children were encouraged to do better so they could enjoy the feeling of achievement. Mr. Rogers did not come on the scene until later. My little ones watched Romper Room School, then the television was turned off for the rest of the day.
Dr. Spock was not in favor of any of those things. The only reason I kept the book on hand was to understand symptoms and to treat health problems. Behavior training was certainly not Spock’s strong suit. Too many people took him literally, and now we reap those ‘rewards’.
My children are now splendid adults, and I am proud of them.
This is what happens when parents allow television to have more influence on their children than they do.
My kids watched Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street and they all grew up to be responsible adults. I made sure I had the most influence over them. If parents are doing their jobs properly a little bit of Mr. Rogers won’t harm them.
Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.
Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 17
Ummm... there is a HUGE difference between the young adults today and those of “Generation X” (the first to grow up with daily doses of Mr. Rogers — of whom I was a HUGE fan!), and it is NOT Mr. Rogers that gave them this entitlement attitude. It is more likely the school curriculum that introduced these ideas. THAT is what’s different between my generation, and the ones that are in their teens and 20s nowadays. I don’t see the same attitude at ALL among my peers vs. the younger ones nowadays.
Totally true. One obvious difference is how girls dress and present themself. When I was a teen, I was very self-conscious about my looks and whether I had the figure for the clothes I was wearing (I did but didn't realize it at the time!) My friends were the same. Now, you see girls hanging out all over the place. Girls who are twice the size I was 15 years ago (has it been that long??) wear tight low cut jeans with their guts hanging out over the top!! That would not have been done when we were younger!
Many years ago we had an undergraduate intern who was talking about winning the Nobel Prize his first week on the job. After he left for the day, one of our contractors said, “You know what that comes from? Not getting kicked in the teeth enough.”
Sandra Day O’Connor said something to the effect of “Supreme Court Justice is not something you can plan your career for.”
Oh dear, yes, those kicks in the teeth have to come at some point in life — but when?
Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!
Mr. Rogers is not to blame! He sings a song about friendship, saying, “you’re special to me,” but he doesn’t promote entitlement. He talks about how things like sports and music take a lot of practice and hard work, and you have to try again when you fail. He also encourages personal responsibility, telling kids to pick up their toys and clean up when they are done with something.
Yeah, the gut hanging over thing is just absolutely bizarre and, yeah, 15 years already—good grief!
The only thing I feel entitled to is becoming a right curmudgeon in roughly 50 years.
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Crips, my parents threatened to sell me to the ragman every chance they got.
We call that the “muffin top” - because it looks like their pants are doing some baking.
Also referred to as the “flesh-colored inner-tube”, but that takes too long to say.
Be happy. Be.
Really seems today that girls take that, "You go, Girl!" attitude too seriously. No... you're not beautiful in anything at any size... and no... not every one looks like Britney circa 1997...
This is just more anti-kid horseshit. Where’s the word ‘whippersnapper?’ It ought to be in here somewhere.
I hope I never get so cynical and old that I forget that young people actually are able to make their own decisions, and figure out things for themselves...like, for example, that if they don’t ask for it, they ain’t gonna get it. Especially with the greediest generation so eager to steal everything they can get their elected hands on. I’d far prefer a generation of young millenials fighting the boomers over who gets what now, forcing government to pare to the bone, instead of watching seniors competing to see who dies with the coolest coffin and gravestone—paid for by the biggest entitlement program ever, Social Security.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.