The Talking Dog

Not Recorded | 6/6/2007 | Mosesknows

[MosesKnows]

Talking Dog for Sale

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I won my Corporation’s salesman of the year award in 2000, which included an invitation for my wife and I to join the Company in their annual awards ceremony. This year the awards banquet was in New Orleans. Most of my time was tightly scheduled but one afternoon I had some time to myself and decided to do some shopping.

While browsing the many shops in the French Quarter, I spotted an unusual sign in the window of a small family owned curio shop. The sign simply said “Talking Dog for Sell by Owner.” I rang the bell, the door buzzed, and I opened it and went inside. It was a small shop and an older man was sitting on an old divan reading the newspaper. I told him I had come to inquire about the talking dog for sale. He looked up from his newspaper just long enough to motion toward a rear door and tell me the dog is out back.

I go through the door into the back yard where I find a rather non-descript black mutt. He is just sitting there beside a large doghouse. I walked over to him and not knowing exactly what to do next I say, almost under my breath, “So you talk”?

I can’t say I was even startled when the mutt answered back with a very matter of fact “Yep.”

So, I ask, “what's your story?"

The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. No one ever figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.

”They treated me very well but the jetting around really tired me out. I wasn't getting any younger and I just wanted to settle down. So, I signed up for a job at Moisant Field airport to do some undercover security work. This mostly involved just wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. They awarded me a batch of medals for my work at MSY. But then that grew tiresome so I quit, married, and had a mess of puppies and now I'm just retired."

I am totally amazed. I go back in and ask the owner how much he wants for the dog.

The owner says, "fifty dollars."

I immediately reply. "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."

[MosesKnows]

The story about the fellow in a coma for 19 years caused me to recall this story.

[ClearCase_guy]

Needs a picture:

[stylin19a]

next time show the dog’s face, not the other end.

[raccoonradio]

Old Warner Bros. Cartoon:

“Honestly, this is a TALKING DOG! Look, let me ask him
some questions. Now, Rover, what is the opposite of smooth?”

“RUFF!”

“What is on top of a house?”

“ROOF!”

“Who’s the best player in baseball?”

“RUTH!”

The talking dog and the huckster are tossed outside.
The dog turns to the man and says, “D’ya think I
shoulda said ‘DiMaggio’?”