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****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/ ^ | March 30, 2007

Posted on 03/30/2007 4:40:30 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Republicans are liars and manipulators. Dividers. Fear mongers. Smiling when they talk about war and grinning when they tell their lies and distort their record. Trying to impose their hateful morals on the rest of the world. Have you seen their platform? Have you listened to their speeches? These warmongers? These liars? Let's get some things straight: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Stop insinuating there is.  Where is Osama? Why are we in Iraq if Osama Bin Laden is free?  The 9/11 commission makes it very clear that Bush's administration ignored signs of a pending attack.  There are no Weapons of Mass Destruction. BUSH LIED.  IT WAS ALL FOR OIL.  Don't try to call Kerry a liar to minimize his deceptions. Kerry served in Vietnam. Bush was AWOL. These are facts. "Swiftboat Veterans for Bush" was assisted by the Bush Campaign. More facts.  Bush lied to the entire country and Colin Powell lied to the entire world as to why we should invade Iraq, then we did so in spite of the U.N. and without a plan to win the peace. Bush's actions have caused unprecedented anger and resentment towards the U.S. and made us less safe, not more.  Iraq and Afganistan are not *free*. Stop saying they are. LIARS. They are under U.S. military occupation.  Republicans cut taxes on the wealthy and then cut funding for children. Just released numbers show more Americans in poverty and more people without healthcare and jobs. Republicans think this is the way life should be.  George W. Bush turned his back on the Middle East peace process begun by Bill Clinton causing a massive increase in violence and tensions in the region. Cheney should be in jail.  Bush should be in jail for war crimes for that matter.  The media is *not* liberal but now everyone assumes it is, and the conservatives get their way always. They are manipulators extraordinaire. Have you read the platform? Revisionism and manipulation at it's best.   

Democrats offer a better solution and security for this country.  They plan to get out of Iraq and end the occupation of war.  They plan on trying to make peace with the terrorists.  Democrats are honest and hard working and fight for this country to be the best.   They honor our military and want to protect those that defend this country.  Hillary will be the best President ever.

 

I know it's a few days early, but....

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Let us be thankful for the fools.  But for them the rest of us could not succeed.  "

~Mark Twain


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: aprilfools; democratsarestupid; dims; dumbocrats; foolishrats; rats; satire
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To: nuke rocketeer

Marie Antoinette said that feeding the peasants was a piece of cake.


21 posted on 03/30/2007 5:19:40 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Lucky9teen

The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me

And there you are,

sitting on your ass,

at your computer, reading jokes on Free Republic.

Nice. Real nice


22 posted on 03/30/2007 5:19:41 AM PDT by HEY4QDEMS (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
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The retired track official has started forgetting things. He has old timer's disease.


23 posted on 03/30/2007 5:19:54 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: HEY4QDEMS; fredhead; r-q-tek86; BJClinton; Fierce Allegiance

A man walked into a chimney store and asked 'How much for this one?'. The salesman replied 'It's on the house.'


24 posted on 03/30/2007 5:21:08 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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I met some cult members who worshiped soup serving utensils. I said, 'Oh ye of ladle faith.'


25 posted on 03/30/2007 5:21:29 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: tomkow6

I say, I say, We don't need no stinkin' badges.
26 posted on 03/30/2007 5:21:35 AM PDT by Soaring Feather (I Soar 'cause I can....without punctuation)
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So, how's the flower business going? Oh, it's blossoming quite nicely.


27 posted on 03/30/2007 5:21:44 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Lucky9teen

Many descendants of early Mexicans have the kinds of jobs one would expect - as techs.


28 posted on 03/30/2007 5:22:15 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Soaring Feather
Foghorn Leghorn is the one who talked like tha.


29 posted on 03/30/2007 5:22:59 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (There are 2 types of Rudy fans - the uninformed or anti-conservative TROLLS who do not belong on FR)
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To: nuke rocketeer; freedomson

Hey, this is the silliness thread, not the broken picture link thread...... :-)


30 posted on 03/30/2007 5:25:05 AM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: Fierce Allegiance

That so?
31 posted on 03/30/2007 5:26:43 AM PDT by Soaring Feather (I Soar 'cause I can....without punctuation)
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To: nuke rocketeer

LMAO!!!!


32 posted on 03/30/2007 5:27:34 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance (There are 2 types of Rudy fans - the uninformed or anti-conservative TROLLS who do not belong on FR)
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To: CharlesWayneCT

Rudy Giuiliani, Mitt Romney, and John McCain are on a plane together. They are flying to their first debate, and having a discussion of the important issues.

Their argument is interrupted by an announcement by the captain that the plane has run out of fuel and is going to crash.

Then they are told there is only one parachute for the three of them, so they are going to have to decide which one gets to live.

But then the plane nosedives and crashes.


33 posted on 03/30/2007 5:29:21 AM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: Lucky9teen

Thanks for the PING!

34 posted on 03/30/2007 5:30:11 AM PDT by HEY4QDEMS (Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.)
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To: CharlesWayneCT

Ah, the smart filter restrictions have struck again.....


35 posted on 03/30/2007 5:30:22 AM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: Lucky9teen

36 posted on 03/30/2007 5:33:31 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: Lucky9teen

###########################################################

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the husband out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he is in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He has probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he could kill us both. Be strong, honey I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey... I love you, too.

###########################################################


37 posted on 03/30/2007 5:33:58 AM PDT by Sax
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To: tomkow6

38 posted on 03/30/2007 5:36:01 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: Lucky9teen

39 posted on 03/30/2007 5:41:48 AM PDT by DCPatriot ("It aint what you don't know that kills you. It's what you know that aint so" Theodore Sturgeon))
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To: Lucky9teen

40 posted on 03/30/2007 5:43:21 AM PDT by DCPatriot ("It aint what you don't know that kills you. It's what you know that aint so" Theodore Sturgeon))
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