Something has compelled her to question the relationship even though her passion for her boyfriend is still in high gear.
Now everyone at every age runs into points in their life where they question their current circumstances. Yet the major risk in this situation is a truly wonderful relationship. Sadly, the young lady may be too inexperienced to understand how rare and fleeting such things are in this day and age.
Or maybe she just thinks that it's good because she's so darn happy when the beating stops? (OK, sorry, this last sentence was brought to you by NOW.)
Seriously, if you've only had one relationship and you're happy, isn't that good enough? I'm compelled to believe society is now geared towards ploygamous relationships even if the situation is unknown by one of the partners. "Cheating" seems to be promoted as a relational "norm" in some circles.
The successful relationships seem to be those that don't subscribe to the MTV School Of Morality and the image of relationships as portrayed by the media.
What would I tell her? Assess her future plans with what you see developing within the relationship. Do they coincide or do they part ways? Children? Religion? Who controls the remote?
Does the relationship pass the "anger test"? Everyone needs to assess that one for themselves.
Each relationship is of course subjective to the individuals involve. Advice from someone outside of it can only be so useful and the rest is "hot air" (someone call Al Gore!) Hopefully in contemplating "seeing other people" this young lady takes the important factors into consideration. The problem in her case is defining "important factors". Let's hope she has intelligent friends who can help her define what those are to her and how they will play a role in her decision.
My first suggestion is that getting advise from strangers over the internet is not a good idea in this situation. Too many man-hating feminists, divorce lawyers, and people with agendas on one side or another.
She should talk to her friends and family, somone who knows both of them and ask them their opinion of her boyfriend, their opnion on whether or not she should marry him, and their opinion on whether she should try someone else.
My advice (reread paragraph 1 please) is that she should make a decion about whether or not to marry the guy. Trying to "see other people" and then marry him is a poor idea I think; what if she decides he is the best thing ever, but he has found another woman? Or if she finds someone very charming who turns out to be a snake --- she now has the same decision; should she try again or go back to the first boyfriend. How much experience is "enough"?
She's 26 and has been dating this guy for 10 years?
Lady, DUMP HIM!!!! If he hasn't committed to you by now, he never will. If you haven't committed to him by now, you never will. Move on.
You've been with him all this time and your just now talking about marriage? I'd say that their's something wrong. A one year ingagement is all that's needed to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
"Question: I've been dating the same guy exclusively since high school. He has 3.5 inches and we've been talking about marriage. I'm crazy about him, but I worry that I will regret having limited my sex experience to just one man. Should I explore other options?
I learned at a very young age that you don't meet Ms. Right by playing the field.
I have a theory;
Adam and Eve were created as adults,
Jesus is refered to as the last Adam,
Jesus was crucified at the age of 33,
I surmise Adam and Eve were created at what we consider approx. 33 years old.
Thus, maturity Isn't evident nor complete until the early 30's.
Take a look around you and see whom is younger than and whom is older than 30-35 .... note the level of maturity.
I can't prove none of this ... just something I've thought about for years.
I now return you to your regular channel.
To all reasonably spritual persons under the age of 23-A note about "playing the field".
The "field" is never larger than when you are in high school/college. Consider how many individuals you have ever culled from that field as being in some way "special".?
Let's take sex out of it. How many 'best friends' does a person have? 'Best friend' is a catagory that goes unfilled if a candidate does not come along to fill it. People will actually say "I hang around with this one or that one but I wouldn't call them my best friend"
Those few people of the opposite sex who we, for some reason, pick out of the crowd when we have passed literally on thousands of others are probably best frinds with interesting plumbing.
"The Field", from age 23 on begins narrowing. Your choices are thus narrowed.
(Although two persons who are in a relationship from their teen years to late twenties who haven't long since married are probably hiding from something in it.)
It would probably be a very good idea to ask yourself what the biggest reason you both have for getting married. Is it more for "having a relationship", or is it more for "having children"?
What seems like a shallow question is actually surprisingly deep, with many layers of mutual question and answer.
1) Do you want children at all? If so, how many?
2) How would you feel about having a "child oriented home"?
3) How many traits of the other person are attractive, neutral, or unattractive? That is, would be attractive even if there was no relationship between you two.
4) What is your ratio of "together time" and "apart time"?
5) How does your mate's DNA stack up against your imaginary "ideal biological parent", you might want to mate with?
6) How do they stack up as a child provider or nurturer, again, compared to your imaginary ideal?
7) Each of you has people in their "extended support group" of both family and friends. How many of these people do you share as supportive of you both?
8) Do you think that sex is different if it is "just for fun" or "intending to make a baby"?
9) If the two of you swore off sex for a month, what would happen to your relationship?
10) Would your relationship still exist if there was no more sex ever?