Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Lunatic Fringe Announces Presidential Candidacy

Posted on 01/22/2007 11:43:41 AM PST by Lunatic Fringe

In 11 days, I turn 35 years old. Which makes me Constitutionally eligible to run for President of the United States. Since everyone else announced this weekend, I decided to wait until today... I like the limelight and don't like sharing it with Shrillary Clinton.

Other than being 35 years old, I have no other qualifications to be President. I am an adult college student at University of North Texas and will graduate with a B.S. in Business Computer Information Systems in May of '08... just in time to attend the Convention to accept the nomination. but I do want to talk about my vision for this country.

The War on Terror will be won. As President, I will seek to increase troop strength in Afghanistan. I will authorize our forces to cross the border into Pakistan and hunt down the heart of al-Qaeda. I will increase troop levels in Iraq as well, and order new rules of engagement that will allow our forces to win militarily against the Iraq insurgency, al-Qaeda forces, and their Iranian supporters. I will openly make a nuclear arms deal with Israel, allowing them to purchase potent, but limited number, of the finest U.S. weapons. I will seek a new branch of military force whose sole purpose is to work in small strike units to surgically take out terror cells, financial backers, and political leaders around the world. Islamic terrorism will end, and not in a so-called P.C. "war" that will take several generations.

I support legal immigration, and as President I will order the Border Patrol to enforce our immigration laws-- on both the northern and southern borders. Any illegal immigrant in prison will, upon his or her release, be placed on a plane to Punta Arenas. Good luck getting back to the border from there.

I oppose abortion, but I support states' rights. The federal decision on Roe v. Wade was a horrible case of legal bungling and judicial activism. I will appoint constructionists to the Supreme Court, those who have a record of rendering decisions without allowing their personal bias to interfere. Oh, and I will appoint young justices.

I will campaign tirelessly for the abolition of Social Security. All citizens over 55 will be permitted to continue to receive benefits. Citizens under 55 will receive no benefits, but instead will receive a lump-sum payment equivalent to their contributions over the previous 10 years. We will pay for this quite easily. The U.S. government owns trillions of dollars worth of property. By auctioning off government owned land, scrap steel and materials from decommissioned planes and ships, and other hard assets we can finance my plan for a Social Security bailout.

And finally the unfair and disproportionate system of taxation and government spending in America must end. I will seek a complete reform of the tax system. I want to return this nation to a system of tariffs to finance the bulk of government costs, but will also support a national sales tax on goods and services, and a flat tax on income. In my tax system, all purchases of non-essential goods and services would be taxed at a modest rate of 5%. Food, housing, clothing, education, and health costs would be exempt. In addition, all income over your family's poverty line as defined by the Department of Health and Human Services will be taxed at 12%. This would return economic power to the People. I would seek a Balanced Budget Amendment that would force Congress to pass a zero-deficit budget based on revenues of the previous fiscal year, except in cases of severe economic crises or war.

My fellow Americans, it is time to knock down the bloated federal government that has, for far too long, been permitted to grow fat and lazy. The greatest nation on Earth has the responsibility to secure liberty and prosperity for future generations.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: betterthanmccain; elections
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-36 last
To: Lunatic Fringe

You are just as likely to get my vote as any of the others that are out there.

At least your a Freeper.


21 posted on 01/22/2007 12:01:52 PM PST by Delta 21 ( MKC USCG - ret)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Always Right
Your resume is longer than Obama's.

So true. And LF has never been associated with having attended a madrassa. I'd bet money on that too!

22 posted on 01/22/2007 12:03:25 PM PST by Dysart
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Dysart
And LF has never been associated with having attended a madrassa. I'd bet money on that too!

That would be correct. I attended American public schools, and a public Texas university.

23 posted on 01/22/2007 12:08:13 PM PST by Lunatic Fringe (Say "NO" to the Trans-Texas Corridor)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe
Just spit-balling here. But, should you begin your exploratory committee and start fund raising and printing flyers, you might want to rethink your marketing strategy.
For example, "Lunatic Fringe' while apt as it may be, might not fly with all demographics. I think you have Vermont in a walk and maybe New York, but Texas and most of the Midwest might shy away. So, rather than "Elect Lunatic Fringe" as a campaign button I would offer several suggestions and I encourage others to chime in.
For example:
"Elect me, I take my medication."

"Sleeps with Women" your Ward Churchill Indian name.

"Not currently under indictment, unlike the other guys"

"I keep groceries in the freezer, not 90K in cold cash"

"Will only drive up the middle with the nuclear football. No pass interceptions for me."

"Will save money by having the White House covered in all weather vinyl siding."

You get the idea. Always think of your marketing strengths and good luck on your campaign.
24 posted on 01/22/2007 12:10:16 PM PST by IrishCatholic (No local communist or socialist party chapter? Join the Democrats, it's the same thing.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe

Could you elaborate on your plans to control the border?


25 posted on 01/22/2007 12:11:37 PM PST by Cinnamon Girl (OMGIIHIHOIIC ping list)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: IrishCatholic

I like these!


26 posted on 01/22/2007 12:12:43 PM PST by Lunatic Fringe (LF for President! http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1771780/posts)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: Cinnamon Girl
Could you elaborate on your plans to control the border?

I would ask Congress for increased spending for Border Patrol agents, equipment, and surveillance. If Congress refuses to provide me sufficient funding, then I'll use the military to defend the border and incarcerate illegal immigrants.

Congress will NOT play politics with our nation's defense!

27 posted on 01/22/2007 12:16:11 PM PST by Lunatic Fringe (LF for President! http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1771780/posts)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe

What party are going to run for? The Common Sense party?


28 posted on 01/22/2007 12:32:25 PM PST by Vor Lady (Welcome to grandchild #5: Lenora Lucille, 8lbs 11oz. Happy Birthday!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Grannyx4

That should say what party are YOU going to run for....


29 posted on 01/22/2007 12:33:05 PM PST by Vor Lady (Welcome to grandchild #5: Lenora Lucille, 8lbs 11oz. Happy Birthday!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe

What's your opinion on the price of saltines?


30 posted on 01/22/2007 12:51:26 PM PST by llevrok ("Against the assult of laughter, nothing can stand." - Mark Twain)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe
I will get started on the T-shirts....


31 posted on 01/22/2007 1:14:24 PM PST by HOTTIEBOY (Campers laugh at clowns behind closed doors.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe
We don't need no stinkin' papers


32 posted on 01/22/2007 1:41:52 PM PST by Boston Blackie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe

We don't want to hear what a Presidential candidate will do except he will listen to us and do what we say if he should win the election


33 posted on 01/22/2007 1:45:46 PM PST by RightWhale (Repeal the law of the excluded middle)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: darkwing104; Lunatic Fringe

What is your opinion on the voting rights of Ducks?
__________________________________________________________

More importantly; do you support the right to arm bears?


34 posted on 01/22/2007 6:17:41 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe

Whoa! Now that's a nice cabinet!


35 posted on 01/22/2007 6:18:59 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Lunatic Fringe
I would totally vote for you! And when you win your 2nd term, since you did such an insanely awesome job in your first, can you please eliminate the Dept. of Health and Human Services? And the Ministry of Truth i mean the Department of Education? You have my gratitude.
36 posted on 01/22/2007 11:58:45 PM PST by MonicaG (In hoc signo vinces. The whole world will see justice done.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-36 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson