Posted on 01/22/2007 11:43:41 AM PST by Lunatic Fringe
In 11 days, I turn 35 years old. Which makes me Constitutionally eligible to run for President of the United States. Since everyone else announced this weekend, I decided to wait until today... I like the limelight and don't like sharing it with Shrillary Clinton.
Other than being 35 years old, I have no other qualifications to be President. I am an adult college student at University of North Texas and will graduate with a B.S. in Business Computer Information Systems in May of '08... just in time to attend the Convention to accept the nomination. but I do want to talk about my vision for this country.
The War on Terror will be won. As President, I will seek to increase troop strength in Afghanistan. I will authorize our forces to cross the border into Pakistan and hunt down the heart of al-Qaeda. I will increase troop levels in Iraq as well, and order new rules of engagement that will allow our forces to win militarily against the Iraq insurgency, al-Qaeda forces, and their Iranian supporters. I will openly make a nuclear arms deal with Israel, allowing them to purchase potent, but limited number, of the finest U.S. weapons. I will seek a new branch of military force whose sole purpose is to work in small strike units to surgically take out terror cells, financial backers, and political leaders around the world. Islamic terrorism will end, and not in a so-called P.C. "war" that will take several generations.
I support legal immigration, and as President I will order the Border Patrol to enforce our immigration laws-- on both the northern and southern borders. Any illegal immigrant in prison will, upon his or her release, be placed on a plane to Punta Arenas. Good luck getting back to the border from there.
I oppose abortion, but I support states' rights. The federal decision on Roe v. Wade was a horrible case of legal bungling and judicial activism. I will appoint constructionists to the Supreme Court, those who have a record of rendering decisions without allowing their personal bias to interfere. Oh, and I will appoint young justices.
I will campaign tirelessly for the abolition of Social Security. All citizens over 55 will be permitted to continue to receive benefits. Citizens under 55 will receive no benefits, but instead will receive a lump-sum payment equivalent to their contributions over the previous 10 years. We will pay for this quite easily. The U.S. government owns trillions of dollars worth of property. By auctioning off government owned land, scrap steel and materials from decommissioned planes and ships, and other hard assets we can finance my plan for a Social Security bailout.
And finally the unfair and disproportionate system of taxation and government spending in America must end. I will seek a complete reform of the tax system. I want to return this nation to a system of tariffs to finance the bulk of government costs, but will also support a national sales tax on goods and services, and a flat tax on income. In my tax system, all purchases of non-essential goods and services would be taxed at a modest rate of 5%. Food, housing, clothing, education, and health costs would be exempt. In addition, all income over your family's poverty line as defined by the Department of Health and Human Services will be taxed at 12%. This would return economic power to the People. I would seek a Balanced Budget Amendment that would force Congress to pass a zero-deficit budget based on revenues of the previous fiscal year, except in cases of severe economic crises or war.
My fellow Americans, it is time to knock down the bloated federal government that has, for far too long, been permitted to grow fat and lazy. The greatest nation on Earth has the responsibility to secure liberty and prosperity for future generations.
Sounds good to me!
Well, we gotta discuss your hair, then.
What is your opinion on the voting rights of Ducks?
President Lunatic Fringe. It has a nice ring to it.
You're the best candidate so far. You've got my vote!
LOL!
I'll vote for all that.
If the duck is an American citizen, sure they can vote! Migrating Canadian geese, on the other hand....
I just noted your tagline...are you a native Texan?
I always liked the title "Grand Omnipotent Whazoo"
I am not a native Texas... I was born in Florida, but I have lived here for the last 10 years. Being a military brat, I never really had a place I called "home".
... and we've already had a President Lunatic...
(Carter)
You *can* /0? correct? One of the requirements.
Your resume is longer than Obama's...
IBTZ! (Kidding, kidding!)
Hey, good for you. It's America, anyone can run for president if they want to. But then, IMHO, anyone who wants to be president in this day and age has got to be a lunatic! ;-p
All well and good! BUT...how do you look in beachwear?
(We need to know if you can wrestle the Osama pin-up votes away.)
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