Esyay! It'sway Anotherway Idayfray.
Posted on 01/19/2007 12:50:34 AM PST by sully777
Checking in from Bordeaux, France!
Ustjay enwhey ouyay oughthey itay wasway afesay otay urfsay ethey ebway !!
Wooooooooohooooooooooo! Present and accounted for, happy Friday everyone, wooooooooohooooooooooo!
It's scary how hypnotic that is.
Esent-pray!
Up and at 'em!
http://www.intednet.com/crap/sbm.mp3
SUPER BOWL MAMBO
GEAUX SAINTS!
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You scored as Lobo (BRIDE OF THE MONSTER). You are the thoroughly dangerous LOBO (a.k.a. malformed Swedish wrestler/actor Tor Johnson) from BRIDE OF THE MONSTER. Whenever you loudly announce: "TIME FOR GO TO BED!!!"... people *listen*, by God!!!
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Catholic Humor:
A married Irishman went into theconfessional and said to his priest, "I almost
had an affair with another woman."
>The priest said, "What do you mean,almost?"
>The Irishman said, "Well, we gotundressed and rubbed together, but then I
stopped."
>
>The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to
see thatwoman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the
poorbox."
>The Irishman left the confessional, saidhis prayers, and then walked over to
the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started toleave. The priest, who
was watching , quickly ran over to him saying,"I saw that. You didn't put any
money in the poor box!"
>
>The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to
you, that'sthe same as putting it in!"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>There once was a religious young womanwho went to Confession. Upon entering the
confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, forI have sinned."
>T hepriest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
>
>The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me
seventimes."
>
>The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a
glass and thendrink the juice."
>The young woman asked, "Will thiscleanse me of my sins?"
>The priest said, "No, but it willwipe that smile off of your face."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>A man was just waking up from anesthesiaafter surgery, and his wife was sitting
by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said,"You're beautiful."
>Then hefell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so
shestayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said,
"You're cute."
>The wife was disappointed because insteadof "beautiful," it was now "cute."
>
>She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"
>The man replied, "The drugs arewearing off."
>
Three fingers were willing to cooperate but the thumb and forefinger were opposed.
Fart Definitions
Discomfart (n.)
The feeling one gets when trying to hold in a particularly high pressure emission.
Fart (n.)
Acronym for a flabby, anal-retentive Tory.
Fartabulous (adj.)
Descriptive of anal intercourse.
Fart Accompli (n.)
A silent observer of a fart perpetrator in a confined space.
Fartalism (n.)
The feeling of inevitability one gets when one can hold it in no longer.
Fartality (n.)
The victim of fart attack
Fartastic (adj.)
Descriptive of a particularly creative fart .
Fartasy (n.)
A whimsical fart.
Fartative (adj.)
Descriptive of the awkward behavior of a fart perpetrator who's been fingered in the act.
Fartaway (n.)
The unmuffled strategic release of fetid air at an inopportune time.
Fart Bag (n.)
A humor-challenged pay equity coordinator.
Fartberg (n.)
The home of the biggest political fart around.
Fartbourg (n.)
An obnoxious name-dropping fart.
Fart-buster (n.)
The magic ingredient in GAS-X flatulence relief.
Fart-champetre (n.)
Franco-Manitoban Winter Flatulence Festival featuring lots of home-baked beans in maple syrup.
Fart-cock (n.)
A pompous fart.
Fart de Mieux (n.)
A Quebec Separatist fart.
Farter (n.)
The perpetrator of a fart.
Farter's Feast (n.)
Unfermented complex carbohydrates (e.g. sugar and beans) consumed by party animals causing the uncontrollable emission of foul wind.
Fart-flop (n.)
A half-hearted muffled fart.
Fart-forward (n.)
The act of speed farting in the hope that no one will really hear .
Fartgate (n.)
An undercover fart intelligence operation.
Fartidious (n.)
Descriptive of a meticulously clean fart.
Farting Machine (n.)
A bovine or swampy thing that emits methane gas.
Fartissimo (n.)
An explosive passage of putrid gas.
Fartible (adj.)
A predisposition to passing wind.
Farticability (adj.)
The ability to fart on cue.
Farticulation (n.)
The nauseating drone of an academic windbag.
Fartified (adv.)
Descriptive of the behavior of a passive-aggressive fart.
Fartigue (n.)
Descriptive of, or pertaining to a wus.
Fart-in-law (n.)
Pejorative expression meaning an unpleasant relative by marriage.
Fart-knot (n.)
A constipated, uptight, chronically-challenged fart.
Fartless (n.)
The goal of the 12-step recovery program for flatus perpetrators.
Fartly (adv.)
The swagger of an X-large fart.
Fartling (n.)
An undetected or surreptitious fart.
Fart Magnum (n.)
An old fart with a penile implant.
Fart Mail (n.)
X-rated virus messages that appear on your computer screen when you least expect it.
Fart Majeure (n.)
A toxic-level fart.
Fart McMurray (n.)
An uncouth, ragged and oily smelling fart .
Fart-minded (adj.)
A socially-conscious and politically-correct fart.
Fart Naturae (n.)
Anyone who keeps hogs as pets.
Fartnoid (n.)
A computer consultant with severe gastro-intestinal problems.
Fart Offender (n.)
An unrepentant discharger of waste gas.
Fartogast (n.)
Anyone who releases ill-wind without permission of his co-workers.
Fartography (n.)
A social science devoted to studying the quaint habits of human farters.
Fartologist (n.)
A turgid scientific fart.
Fartometer (n.)
A measuring device that records the frequency of farts; 8-10 waste gas emissions per day is considered normal for human farters.
Fart Pas (n.)
Any social blunder committed by a chronologically-gifted fart.
Fart Positive (n.)
Any one who is wrongly diagnosed as having a flatulent condition.
Fart-proofing (v.)
Using heavy perfume or aftershave lotion to neutralize a particularly excessive flatus condition.
Fartricate (v.)
Strategically release putrid gas designed to temporarily nauseate victims.
Fartright (n.)
The exclusive birthright of royal farts to break wind whenever confronted by the media or politicians.
Fart's Day (n.)
The third Saturday in August, a celebration in honor of farts of all ages and persuasions.
Fartsinger (n.)
An unmuffled or melodious fart.
Fart's Solution (n.)
The option of doing nothing with the fond hope that "it" will go away without your help.
Fart Star (n.)
A passive-aggressive behavior such as pouting, whining, or well-timed sarcasm frequently used by executive farts.
Fart Start (n.)
The uncomfortable feeling in one's rectum just before the discharge of waste gas.
Fart-time (n.)
What employees do when the boss goes out of town.
Fartuitous (adj.)
Descriptive of the lucky fart who wins the jackpot lottery.
Fartunate (adj.)
A descriptive of premeditated farting condition that frequently occurs during a particularly boring meeting or lecture allowing participants to take an early break.
Fart-witted (n.)
Descriptive of a good-natured grunt with a high IQ.
Farty-niner (n.)
A boisterous, hot dog and beer guzzling, over-the-hill football fan .
Frankfart (n.)
The German birthplace of the sausage induced fart.
Misfartune (n.)
The bad luck that occurs when a soft gentle fart turns out to be something more substantial.
Pianofarte (n.)
A fart that starts quietly and ends in an explosive crescendo.
Roquefart (n.)
A silent emission with an effluvia reminiscent of rotting cheese.
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