Posted on 12/31/2006 7:08:41 PM PST by Mo1
Would that were possible Derly, fortunately, I still have my toes.
I hope to confirm your burlap bag theory, regarding Sweets, very soon. It has always been one of my favorite fashion for the ladies – it must be the contrast of textures. But you, Derly, in overalls, I am not sure that you would scare the crows in that outfit, but you would certainly attract the vultures.
Mmmmmmm…Now I come to think of it, I ought to help you and place you under my friendly protection. I am in the process of opening a health club for wealthy wimmin. I will need some attractive and intelligent staff with a pleasant and outgoing demeanor – you are ideal for what I have in mind.
Just some little light dusting and serving - occasionally putting gran to bed when she needs help from over indulgence. You would look absolutely delightful. perfect for the French maid’s costume that I am negotiating to have specially imported from master tailors in such apparel.
Now, if you could give me your intimate measurements…
Do you need a diagram?
And as for you Gran, you just don't have the polish to beguile those who know you. Your wicked ways are well known. I'm surprised at you that you would encourage this behavior. However, I must say that I could see you slugging the grog at a local watering hole.
HAPPY WEDNSEDAY!!!!
You might awnt to wrok on yor spelchek........
:-)
Thanx!
I meant Wednesday!
HOWDY, LS
Didja hear?
Pippin is BACK!
I went back to using my former screenname last week.
That outfit that Nully posted you in certainly did make you look a bit overweight. You might want to wake up and join the gym that Cardy and I are opening..........
We will then allow you to post a "before" and "after" pic on your home page as and advertisement.
Well good, now I can locate you as you stealthily hide yourself in public libraries.........
Adjustable? Don't the springs suffice???
Must you be so chipper?
Good morning everyone.
Just getting myself all "fluffed" up for the Cardy..(no..not that one) the one that treats me nice and checks my inner workings. Oh wait....never mind.
Anyway, will get my come-up-uns on you know who as soon as I can. A woman scorned and all that?
(I must admit that I had some good laughs at Cardy's latest posts.)
What are we going to do with him?
Hey, what a good contest.
"How would you deal with that prevert"?
The winner will get a self autographed pic of me in my thong...ahhhhhhhhh....ok..how about a gift certificate to your fav coffee shop?
...as I innocently drift away into the void. ;)
Careful...
Cardy, here is one even you could woo, and this one's not even from Oregon, Michigan, Foriduh, or Arkansas...... but it's "Time for.....Pigs In Spaaaaaaace": http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1780696/posts
Mammograms
Many women are anxious about mammograms, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
blew that covah!
snicker!
Yep! :o)
Just to help your camouflage attempts to work better.......
Did you have to do that?
:-)
2007, A SPACE ODDITY
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.