Now that's funny!
Posted on 12/22/2006 4:04:25 PM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran
Men Are Just Happier People...
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
No, I look at the couch, so I don't sit on the dog, I look on the car seat, so I don't sit on the seat belt, I look at the toilet, so my butt doesn't get wet.
It can't be that hard to look. Guess it is a girl thing not to look.
Why can't women do that?
Hard to disprove the truth ;)
Somebody shops more upscale than I...of course, the way I produce those unsightly hashmarks I suppose it's understandable that I shop the way I do...
Y'now, when I was married, I used to wake up grumpy...
but sometimes I'd just let 'im sleep!
Here is a song you may enjoy.
Artist/Band: Outlaws, The
Lyrics for Song: Put Another Log on the Fire - Tompall Glaser
Lyrics for Album: Wanted!
Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.
Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
Don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I a-gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
Ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet 'cos I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.
So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
Go out to the car and lift it up and change the tyre.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire, babe,
And come and tell me why you're leaving me.
Merry Christmas my FRiend and now go put another log on the fire. LOL!
Problem around here is that grumpy is always the first one awake. Then makes enough noise to wake up everyone else.
And we're not given to pettiness as evinced by the list above.
I could at least duck, and hide in a crease in the ground.
You're welcome.
We don't look so that we can help you keep up your pretense.
;-p
I don't know if you saw this one, but would apprexiate your insights on this one. ;)
Now that's funny!
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