Photolurking, blog streaking and cheesepodding: The new Internet addictions

PARIS (AFP) - The Internet has given birth to a quirky range of modern addictions and maladies, the British weekly New Scientist says in its Christmas issue published this Saturday.

- EGO-SURFING: When you frequently check your name and reputation on the Internet.

- BLOG STREAKING: "Revealing secrets or personal information online which for everybody's sake would be best kept private."

- CRACKBERRY: "The curse of the modern executive: not being able to stop checking your BlackBerry, even at your grandmother's funeral." (A BlackBerry is a popular handheld device that can be used for phoning, emailing and web-browsing).

- GOOGLE-STALKING: Defined as "snooping online on old friends, colleagues or first dates."

- CYBERCHONDRIA: "A headache and a particular rash at the same time? Extensive online research tells you it must be cancer."

- WIKIPEDIHOLISM: Excess devotion to contributing to the online collaborative encyclopaedia, Wikipedia. (Wikipedia even has a page where you can test whether you're an addict: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Are-You-a-Wikipediholic-Test)).

- CHEESEPODDING: Downloading of a song "so cheesy that you could cover it in plastic wrap and sell it at the deli counter." Cheesepodders are especially vulnerable to soft-rock favourites from the 1970s.

> EGO-SURFING: When you frequently check your name and reputation on the Internet.

50 posts so far and no one has mentioned James "Kibo" Parry?. You all must be a bunch of young whippersnappers here, so let me tell you a story...

Back in the early 90's, when the World Wide Web was a wee infant must of us dialed into these things called a BBS and a few adventurous souls used their 300 Baud modems (the nice thing about 300 Baud being that you could read the text as it scrolled by in real time it was that slow), and our Term programs to log into Usenet (you may have heard of it, along with those black plastic waffles called "records"). There was this guy who called himself "Kibo" who used to GREP the entire content posted each day looking for his moniker, and then replying to each post he was mentioned in. What is now known as ego-surfing, was, back in the day, called Kibology. Google "Kibo" & Happynet, or Kibo & White House to learn more about this Internet character. For all I know, he'll find out about this post, too.

You want cheese in your stocking for Christmas?. I've got barking dogs, singing frogs, howling cats & tuned rubber bands along with Alvin & the chipmunks, all doing Christmas carols. It can.t get much more cheesier than that, can it?.

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