What Will The Next BIG Cellphone Gimmick Be?

Self | October 27, 2006 | PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

The two biggest advances in cellphone gimmicks over the past 5 years have been camera phones and wireless Bluetooth earpieces. Yeah, I know there is also the MP3 players built into the cellphones but they don't seem to have much of an impact.

When the camera phone first came out I admit I thought it was a dopey idea. I was wrong. It is a great idea. I mean it is easy for you to forget to carry your camera around but by building it into the cellphone, it is almost always with you.

The next big gimmick was the wireless Bluetooth earpieces. Up until about the end of last year, few cell phones had the bluetooth technology. The Motorola razor was the first widely popular cellphone to incorporate Bluetooth. Now many other cellphones have followed the Razor's lead to the point where most of the new cellphones coming out next year will be Bluetooth enabled. It is astounding to see how many people have already embraced the Bluetooth. Everywhere I go I see folks with the ubiquitous Bluetooth earpiece. Also the TV show, 24, has made Bluetooth very popular. It is impossible to think how Jack Bauer could get by without his ever present Bluetooth dangling on his ear.

So what is the next BIG thing for cellphones? My guess is that it will be a Bluetooth screen that you wear like a pair of sunglasses that can hook you up to the internet. I've already heard about the first prototypes of this. With the Bluetooth screen, you can set the amount of shading from completely transparent to complete opaque. Outdoors you would want it in between to act like sunglasses with the added benefit of being able to see the internet in front of you. Special devices would be attached to your fingers so you could surf the web with a virtual mouse or type on a virtual keyboard. The downside to this is that you would look awful strange walking down the street with your hands in front of you clicking away at what appears to be nothing. Many people will probably be shocked by such sights at first but get used to this as time goes on.

If you could take a time machine about 5 years into the future, you would see people looking like they are nuts because of their bizarre hand movements while acting like they are in a trance because they are paying no attention to the world around them but focused on the internet that only they can see on their Bluetooth sunglass screens.

[F.J. Mitchell]

Teleportation.

[F.J. Mitchell]

There's an idea who's time has come.

[Always Right]

Cell phone implants.

[budman_2001]

[Jaysun]

My guess is that it will be a Bluetooth screen that you wear like a pair of sunglasses that can hook you up to the internet.

That really seems impractical. I mean, the person would need to be sitting down or something. They certainly couldn't drive, or ride a bike, or walk about. They could hit a tree while checking their email, or get hit by a car while looking at porn. But it sounds neat.

My prediction is that cell phones will actually evolve into tiny devices that are planted into one's brain. One second a guy is sitting quietly on the subway, the next he's laughing and saying things like, "Naw, naw man, she didn't.." Then all the other passengers will look at each other and smile. "Got a call on his brain phone", they'll say.

[Jaysun]

Next big thing? Cell phones shaped like huge vibrators that ALSO have electronic toothbrush attachments!!! Oh... wait... is that gross? Hm... maybe I shouldn't drink and freep....

I think you have something there. A dildo phone with a toothbrush attachment. Maybe a pen on the end of it and a place for headphones.

[labette]

What Will The Next BIG Cellphone Gimmick Be?

[Tall_Texan]

I'd like to see one that sends a 30-volt shock whenever the stop light turns green.

[humblegunner]

you would see people looking like they are nuts because of their bizarre hand movements while acting like they are in a trance because they are paying no attention to the world around them

ENOUGH about Michael J. Fox already!

[Tall_Texan]

Just give me a strong signal and a clear connection. I just want to make a damn phone call.

Damnedest thing is that the worst reception I have with my cell is at home. Everywhere else I go, reception is fine. At home, it's weak.

[Slings and Arrows]

Bluetooth suppositories, for Dems who talk out of their a$$es.

[bobbyd]

Damn....YOU! might just be the perfect lady.....

[PJ-Comix]

That really seems impractical. I mean, the person would need to be sitting down or something. They certainly couldn't drive, or ride a bike, or walk about. They could hit a tree while checking their email, or get hit by a car while looking at porn. But it sounds neat.

You could adjust the darkness/transparency level of the sunglass screen. For driving, you would want completely transparent. For walking partially transparent so you could also see the Web. For sitting, completely opaque so you see only the Web.

[DugwayDuke]

"Damnedest thing is that the worst reception I have with my cell is at home. Everywhere else I go, reception is fine. At home, it's weak."

Could be your phone. I just bought a new phone last night. My two year old phone wouldn't connect at my new address (really far out in the woods). New phone works like a champ. Same location, same service provider, much better performance.

My grip is the limited number of just cell phones available. Some employers don't like picture phones. Only two phones available with my provider that didn't have a camera.

[vikzilla]

However it would be great, for example, for guys waiting for their wives at the shopping malls to do the shopping.

Or you could pull the dress out of your crack and let her shop by herself

[Redcloak]

Actually, they'll plug into your ears and download the Internet directly into your brain. (Though, that didn't work out so well on Dr. Who last night.)

[Springman]

I've wanted to do that to my Dad's phone for years!!! Can't because who ever put it on the wall in 1959 did too good of a F***ing job!!!! Need a stick of dynamite to get it off the wall.

Finial did get a regular phone for his bedroom. But he still uses the on in the kitchen!!

[Young Werther]

In the 1967 movie, "The President's Analyst" the major powers of the world are chasing James Coburn's character because he is the President's analyst and is priviy to the secrets that reside in the POTUS!

A dark force keeps the Russkies, Chincoms, French, German, Japanese and other spooks at bay.

Finally, the doctor is brought before this organization and its

GULP! the Telephone Company!

The Telephone Company wants to bribe the President with the secrets that Coburn has. Why? They want the President to pass a law that all people's names will be changed to their telephone number. Bell Labs has developed a pea sized telephone device which would be implanted in everyones brain. Their names are now numbers and instantaneous telephone communications would be possible with these wireless devices which would tie the world together.

There was a Clarke SciFi story where the world telephone system grows to the point where the number of computer circuits are larger than the neurons in a human brain. When this happens....A new entity is born.

IBM - ONE = HAL!!!