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Austrian nails testicle to roof
The Register (U.K.) ^ | 10/18/06 | Lester Haines

Posted on 10/18/2006 8:43:28 AM PDT by Millee

An Austrian roofer who slipped on the job ended up nailing himself to the roof - through his wedding tackle.

According to Ananova, 59-year-old August Voegl of Jennersdorf "shot the four-inch nail into his left testicle with the compressed air nail gun" and was thereafter "unable to extract it or pull himself away from the roof".

It was left to emergency medics to separate Voegl from the building and, after being whisked to hospital by air ambulance, he's reportedly "recovering well" following surgery. ®


TOPICS: Local News; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: arghhhhhhhhhhh; biggerthanithought; leavesamark; oops; ouch; owch; owwwwwww; wtf
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To: Joe 6-pack

I guess he hit it the wrong way?!


41 posted on 10/18/2006 9:32:19 AM PDT by sully777 (You have flies in your eyes--Catch-22)
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To: sully777
"I guess he hit it the wrong way?!"

I imagine things weren't so bad 'til his buddies tried to rescue him with the claw hammer.

42 posted on 10/18/2006 9:37:14 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Joe 6-pack; sully777

His buddies are probably in the fetal position rolling around on the ground.


43 posted on 10/18/2006 9:39:55 AM PDT by Millee (A joke then, a joke N.O.W.)
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To: Millee

Hmmm. Note to self. If I ever nail my balls to the roof, don't light up a cigarette. Things COULD actually get worse.


44 posted on 10/18/2006 10:05:54 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: hispanarepublicana
Careful with the puns, or the mods will get teste.

You get First Prize for that one, Hispana.


45 posted on 10/18/2006 10:08:51 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Millee

I first thought it was "Australian".
Poor guy will wish he had died from it, because his friends will never EVER let him forget this!
Was alcohol involved?


46 posted on 10/18/2006 10:26:21 AM PDT by PandaRosaMishima (she who tends the Nightunicorn; who is glosser of Titanic's wings)
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To: Millee

I put a staple through the web of my hand (twixt thumb and forefinger). Didn't hurt much that day but the next day was a different story.


47 posted on 10/18/2006 10:29:51 AM PDT by freedomlover (Sorry, a tagline occurred. The tagline has been logged.)
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To: Millee

wedding tackle?


48 posted on 10/18/2006 10:31:07 AM PDT by Skooz (Chastity prays for me, piety sings...Modesty hides my thighs in her wings...)
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To: Millee

Well, at least he didn't fall off the roof!


49 posted on 10/18/2006 10:31:18 AM PDT by SWAMPSNIPER (MAY I DIE ON MY FEET IN MY SWAMP, BUAIDH NO BAS)
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To: Millee

"Franks and Beans! Franks and Beans! ..."


50 posted on 10/18/2006 10:33:48 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: PandaRosaMishima

Austria, huh? Wonder if the guy learned to yodel?


51 posted on 10/18/2006 12:59:12 PM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: PandaRosaMishima
I first thought it was "Australian".

Me, too. Just sounds like something from 'down under'...

52 posted on 10/18/2006 1:05:04 PM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: Millee

Crikey!!

Pray for W and Our Troops


53 posted on 10/18/2006 1:07:49 PM PDT by bray (Voting for the Rats is a Death Wish)
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To: hispanarepublicana

It took a lot of balls for you to post that.


54 posted on 10/18/2006 1:27:23 PM PDT by BJClinton (Celebrate diversity: re-elect Congressman Foley!)
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To: Joe 6-pack; Millee; Rennes Templar
You know that tack-y puns are a staple around here. At first I thought it might be difficult to tastefully pun about some guy getting shafted like this, but now I think I've got it in the bag.

There's a vas deferens between good taste and bad taste. You've managed to straddle that line well.

55 posted on 10/18/2006 1:31:17 PM PDT by hispanarepublicana (Don't fall for the soft bigotry of assuming all Hispanics are pro-amnesty. www.dontspeakforme.org)
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To: hispanarepublicana; Millee; Rennes Templar
"There's a vas deferens between good taste and bad taste. You've managed to straddle that line well."

Discretion is what separates the children from the groin ups.

56 posted on 10/18/2006 1:54:23 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Joe 6-pack; Millee; Rennes Templar
Discretion is what separates the children from the groin ups.

Exactly. Ureter mature enough or you're nut.

57 posted on 10/18/2006 1:55:56 PM PDT by hispanarepublicana (Don't fall for the soft bigotry of assuming all Hispanics are pro-amnesty. www.dontspeakforme.org)
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To: Millee

From the "Unusual Case" column of _Aspects of Human Sexuality_, July 1991, by William A Morton, Jr, MD. Reprinted without permission.

"Scrotum Self-Repair"

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's problems."

The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up wallboard.

We X-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples; admitted him to the hospital; and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad- spectrum antibacterial therapy, and hexachlorophene sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematom was present. Through-and- through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin was loosely closed.

Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me. An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive-belt, he was thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound closed and resumed work.

I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification.


58 posted on 10/18/2006 2:05:56 PM PDT by Freedom4US (u)
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To: hispanarepublicana
"Ureter mature enough or you're nut."

I hope that people who are neuter this post understand this is the kind of thing that separates the wieners from the losers.

59 posted on 10/18/2006 2:06:10 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Joe 6-pack
LOL after reading #58, I'd like to rephrase that:

"This is the kind of thing that separates losers from their wieners."

60 posted on 10/18/2006 2:09:05 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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