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How to Overcome Nymphomania
FoxNews ^ | 10/12/06 | Staff

Posted on 10/13/2006 8:14:24 AM PDT by Millee

Michelle and Brian Watters are hoping you will judge their books by their covers … but maybe that's because the covers are all they're selling.

Say you're stuck on a plane next to a chatty neighbor, and you want nothing more than to be left alone. Thanks to the Watters, you can just open up your hardback copy of "How to Murder a Complete Stranger … and Get Away With It" and odds are you'll get your wish.

The Ottawa couple is selling individual self-help book jackets sporting comical titles — and they're hoping readers with an active funny bone will help themselves, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports.

Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates), "Do-It Yourself Vasectomy" (for the medical enthusiast with an independent streak) and "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose-Picking" (a must-read for any aspiring culinary artist) — to name a few.

"These are great if your mother wants the latest Danielle Steele for Christmas. You put 'How to Make Your Mother a Porn Star' on the cover [of the actual Danielle Steele book]," said Helen Aikenhead, owner of Ottawa bookstore Three Wild Women. "And when she opens it up on Christmas morning, she doesn't know what your intentions are."

And if your mom would be less than impressed, Michelle Watters suggests using the titles to … um … clear the air, so to speak.

"If you want to sit by yourself, and you don't want anyone bothering you, "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection" will guarantee you a solo seat," she said.

The jackets are currently being sold in bookstores and boutiques in about a dozen countries for around $6.

(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Humor
KEYWORDS:
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To: Irish_Thatcherite
"What's the treatment?"

Room service. On call.

141 posted on 10/13/2006 3:49:51 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (If you want to make a raccoon, you will first need to get a raccoon kit.)
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To: NicknamedBob

That's not so much a treatment, more a pain killer....


142 posted on 10/13/2006 3:56:53 PM PDT by Irish_Thatcherite (A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!|What if I lecture Americans about America?)
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To: Millee
I had a book, Toxic People, on my desk at work. (I worked with almost an entire section of them and needed some armor so I was reading it on my breaks.) My boss made me remove it.

I also had computer-generated sign that I put up behind me that I'd had at my prior office. It got a lot of laughs -- I worked in a job that brought a lot of people to my desk who had complicated problems and they needed answers, usually quite rapidly. The sign had the words, NO WHINING, in bold print, with a circle around them and an angled slash through the words. Some people have NO sense of humor. My grumpy boss at the new job made me remove that, too.

143 posted on 10/13/2006 4:05:07 PM PDT by GretchenM (What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Please meet my friend, Jesus.)
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To: Irish_Thatcherite; Millee

One man's meat is another man's person.


144 posted on 10/13/2006 4:06:48 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (If you want to make a raccoon, you will first need to get a raccoon kit.)
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To: NicknamedBob

True....


145 posted on 10/13/2006 4:14:40 PM PDT by Irish_Thatcherite (A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!|What if I lecture Americans about America?)
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To: Millee; Mike Bates

With lines like that we should call him master. Maybe even replace his first name with the formal title. What ya think?


146 posted on 10/13/2006 4:21:16 PM PDT by VRWCtaz ("Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness." - Thomas Paine)
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To: Millee

I spend half the year as a redhead.


147 posted on 10/13/2006 4:21:30 PM PDT by Darksheare (Please, don't pinch the alias.)
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To: Millee

I spend I spend the other half with deep brown/black hair.

I have seasonal color changes, like a darn rattlesnake.


148 posted on 10/13/2006 4:22:30 PM PDT by Darksheare (Please, don't pinch the alias.)
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To: Darksheare; Millee
"I have seasonal color changes, like a darn rattlesnake."

Not to mention the frequent sloughing of your skin.

149 posted on 10/13/2006 4:29:42 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (If you want to make a raccoon, you will first need to get a raccoon kit.)
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To: Darksheare

Mood hair? ;o)


150 posted on 10/13/2006 6:28:47 PM PDT by Millee (A joke then, a joke N.O.W.)
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To: Millee
Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates)

The cure is worse than the disease! ;-)

Full Disclosure: Priapism ROCKS! ;-)

Cheers!

151 posted on 10/13/2006 6:42:32 PM PDT by grey_whiskers
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To: NicknamedBob; Millee

Ah yes.
The full body itching and peeling does get annoying.


152 posted on 10/13/2006 8:08:29 PM PDT by Darksheare (Please, don't pinch the alias.)
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To: grey_whiskers

I have to agree.

Medical attention is way down the list of things I'd be seeking.


153 posted on 10/13/2006 8:48:50 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (If you want to make a raccoon, you will first need to get a raccoon kit.)
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To: najida
I wish...
A gardener & critter wrangler
A cook & housekeeper
A massage therapist
A personal shopper & hairdresser
An accountant
A dance partner
A roadie
And boy toy.

Plenty of qualified candidates in San Fransisco...

154 posted on 10/14/2006 7:29:03 PM PDT by null and void ("It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret."--Jackie Joyner-Kersee)
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To: Darksheare
I have seasonal color changes, like a darn rattlesnake.

Darks? Like a rattlesnake? Who'd uh thunk it?

155 posted on 10/14/2006 7:36:02 PM PDT by null and void ("It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret."--Jackie Joyner-Kersee)
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To: Darksheare

Wedding cake is a close second to "I Do".......
As primary cure for nympho.


156 posted on 10/14/2006 7:42:03 PM PDT by Tahoe3002 (Death to Terrorists!!! Semper Fi! USMC 1970-1981)
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To: Millee; Rennes Templar; Lazamataz; Xenalyte

I was going to read that book, How to Overcome Nymphomania, but then I thought, aw, f--k it!


157 posted on 10/14/2006 7:53:23 PM PDT by LibertarianInExile (Mark Foley is what happens when personal character isn't relevant to voters or party leaders.)
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To: SoothingDave; Darksheare; Toby06
I think my parents were nymphos. 11 children. My mother finally put a dime between her knees. That's what my dad told me, anyway.
158 posted on 10/14/2006 8:00:15 PM PDT by Slip18
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To: Slip18

LMFAO!

How's cyber like that idea?


159 posted on 10/14/2006 9:02:35 PM PDT by Toby06
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To: LibertarianInExile

Very difficult for nymphomaniacs to rehab - they're obsexive
cumpulsives.


160 posted on 10/14/2006 11:08:20 PM PDT by Rennes Templar ("The future ain't what it used to be".........Yogi Berra)
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