How to Overcome Nymphomania

FoxNews ^ | 10/12/06 | Staff

[Millee]

Michelle and Brian Watters are hoping you will judge their books by their covers … but maybe that's because the covers are all they're selling.

Say you're stuck on a plane next to a chatty neighbor, and you want nothing more than to be left alone. Thanks to the Watters, you can just open up your hardback copy of "How to Murder a Complete Stranger … and Get Away With It" and odds are you'll get your wish.

The Ottawa couple is selling individual self-help book jackets sporting comical titles — and they're hoping readers with an active funny bone will help themselves, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports.

Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates), "Do-It Yourself Vasectomy" (for the medical enthusiast with an independent streak) and "The Nutritional Benefits of Nose-Picking" (a must-read for any aspiring culinary artist) — to name a few.

"These are great if your mother wants the latest Danielle Steele for Christmas. You put 'How to Make Your Mother a Porn Star' on the cover [of the actual Danielle Steele book]," said Helen Aikenhead, owner of Ottawa bookstore Three Wild Women. "And when she opens it up on Christmas morning, she doesn't know what your intentions are."

And if your mom would be less than impressed, Michelle Watters suggests using the titles to … um … clear the air, so to speak.

"If you want to sit by yourself, and you don't want anyone bothering you, "Perfecting the Art of Fart Projection" will guarantee you a solo seat," she said.

The jackets are currently being sold in bookstores and boutiques in about a dozen countries for around $6.

[NicknamedBob]

"What's the treatment?"

Room service. On call.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

That's not so much a treatment, more a pain killer....

[GretchenM]

I had a book, Toxic People, on my desk at work. (I worked with almost an entire section of them and needed some armor so I was reading it on my breaks.) My boss made me remove it.

I also had computer-generated sign that I put up behind me that I'd had at my prior office. It got a lot of laughs -- I worked in a job that brought a lot of people to my desk who had complicated problems and they needed answers, usually quite rapidly. The sign had the words, NO WHINING, in bold print, with a circle around them and an angled slash through the words. Some people have NO sense of humor. My grumpy boss at the new job made me remove that, too.

[NicknamedBob]

One man's meat is another man's person.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

True....

[VRWCtaz]

With lines like that we should call him master. Maybe even replace his first name with the formal title. What ya think?

[Darksheare]

I spend half the year as a redhead.

[Darksheare]

I spend I spend the other half with deep brown/black hair.

I have seasonal color changes, like a darn rattlesnake.

[NicknamedBob]

"I have seasonal color changes, like a darn rattlesnake."

Not to mention the frequent sloughing of your skin.

[Millee]

Mood hair? ;o)

[grey_whiskers]

Among their eccentric offerings are "How to Overcome Nymphomania" (sure to get you some dates)

The cure is worse than the disease! ;-)

Full Disclosure: Priapism ROCKS! ;-)

Cheers!

[Darksheare]

Ah yes.
The full body itching and peeling does get annoying.

[NicknamedBob]

I have to agree.

Medical attention is way down the list of things I'd be seeking.

[null and void]

I wish...
A gardener & critter wrangler
A cook & housekeeper
A massage therapist
A personal shopper & hairdresser
An accountant
A dance partner
A roadie
And boy toy.

Plenty of qualified candidates in San Fransisco...

[null and void]

I have seasonal color changes, like a darn rattlesnake.

Darks? Like a rattlesnake? Who'd uh thunk it?

[Tahoe3002]

Wedding cake is a close second to "I Do".......
As primary cure for nympho.

[LibertarianInExile]

I was going to read that book, How to Overcome Nymphomania, but then I thought, aw, f--k it!

[Slip18]

I think my parents were nymphos. 11 children. My mother finally put a dime between her knees. That's what my dad told me, anyway.

[Toby06]

LMFAO!

How's cyber like that idea?

[Rennes Templar]

Very difficult for nymphomaniacs to rehab - they're obsexive
cumpulsives.