Posted on 10/10/2006 8:34:20 AM PDT by dead
LONDON (AFP) - A suspect was slammed in the cells after he broke wind in a British court then burst out laughing about it.
Joseph Wildy let rip and refused to apologise after he had a fit of the giggles with his co-defendants on Tuesday.
However, magistrate Simon Bridge, sitting in Blackpool, on the northwest coast of England, was not amused by his interruption. He found Wildy in contempt of court and ordered him to be locked up.
After cooling off in the cells, Wildy returned to court 90 minutes later and apologised to Bridge.
"He was laughing in court, that's why he was found in contempt," said a court spokeswoman.
"It was for interrupting the proceedings by laughing, and then refusing to apologise."
Wildy pleaded not guilty to handling stolen goods and was bailed to reappear at a later date at the same court.
Talk about the price of gas!
Green fog alert!!!
Shouldn't that be-
ODOR IN THE COURT!
As Ben Franklin would say, "Fart Proudly"!
Lightning exits from woman's bum
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
A Croatian woman was left with a severely burned anus after a lightning strike which entered through her mouth left her body through her bottom.
The lightning reportedly struck Natasha Timarovic building as she was cleaning her teeth – with her mouth to the tap, sending the current through her body.
And as she was wearing rubber-soled shoes, the lightning bolt was unable to earth through her feet – so it took the next easiest route, and came out of her rectum.
It then earthed itself via her moist shower curtain.
'It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my torso and then I don't remember much at all,' Timarovic said.
A medic told local news station 24 Sata: 'Instead of earthing through her feet, it appears the electricity shot out of her backside… if she had not been wearing the shoes she would probably have been killed.'
The medic described the incident as 'bizarre, but not impossible.'
Judge: "What do you have to say for yourself sir?
Defendant: "WOW! Do I feel better!"
Those women in the picture don't look like your typical Brit.
Sounds like something that would happen on a cruise ship!
Looks like he's heading for the GAS CHAMBER!
LOL - you've given this way too much thought!
Isn't it a compliment in some cultures?
And, he asks timidly, how did the pool get Black, anyway?
Like my wife says, 'you're telling us more than we want to know". LOL!
...hemorrhoids my a$$ that felt like a bloody asteroid!
Apparently your flatulence taxonomy is much more sophisticated than mine. I just use a 10-unit rating scale.
Reminds of the time I was sitting with my wife in church on one of those church benches you talked about. The science of acoustics states that when you put a speaker or other sound source in mid air it is reinforced x's1, on the floor x's2, on the floor with a wall in the back x's 4 and in a corner x's 8.
Well I was in a x's 8 situation where I sat in the pew. The pastor was speaking a very good message, but shall I say my weakened flesh in a loud gaseaous brrrrrrrp, overcame the spirit of the situation.
I'll always remember the proper Baptist gentleman in front of me twitching slightly, his jaw setting firmly, but his ears reddening to a bright crimson. My wife poked me while trying to keep a straight face. There were a pair of teens who had started to titter behind me.
I turned around and looked at the young pair, a girl and boy who were trying to regain their composure and I did the only thing I could think of to make the best of the situation.....ready for it....here it comes...
I smiled and pointed at my wife.
That did it...despite Baptist decorum the teens just lost it laughing uproariously and my wife gave me a few hard punches to my arm...I just sat smiling inwardly praising god for my human frailties. The pastor paused a few seconds to see what the commotion was and folks in the front row just sat ridgidly, their ears all reddened too but we got our-selves under control and the sermon went on.
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