Breaking wind news: Silence in court shattered as suspect causes a stink (locked up for farting)

AFP via Yahoo! ^ | 10/10/06

[husky ed]

Charge him with Ass-ault. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Order in the Court, Order in the Court.
I'll have a Back-bacon and Cheese Sandwich.

Or maybe someone just pulled his finger?

[Rb ver. 2.0]

Oh, man. I would have exploded.

[longshadow]

you are hereby authorized to deploy your "Flatus Attack Ping List"...

.... just don't stand in front of me when you do it.

[Rb ver. 2.0]

Your Honor, he's just playing the tenor section, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck....

[PatrickHenry]

"Breaking News about Breaking Wind" Ping List Don't ask to be added to or dropped from this list. Just don't.

[GSWarrior]

Here's an old one.

Why shouldn't you pass gas in church?

Because you have to sit in your own pew!

[RVN Airplane Driver]

I'm trying to remember the name of a comedian (Lewis Grizzard maybe?) who had a routine with the punchline "Brother, I don't believe I'd a told that!" Does that ring a bell for anyone?

I remember that punchline about confessing your sins at a tent revival...where they were making their confessions for getting it on with their neighbors etc, finally an ole boy in the back stood up and confessed to having his way with a sheep....to which the preacher said "Brother, don't believe I' told that"

[rock58seg]

Soundfs like you heard the comic record from the fifties, The F-rting Contest," High point winner If I remember correctly was a tripple flutter bleep.

[sonic109]

Just spit out my iced tea..toooo funny hahahahahhahahahah

[sonic109]

ahhhh the 3 Stooges..Thats what the world needs about now .back in the good old days when the world was only half insane. Woo wooo wooo wooo wooooooo

[VRWCtaz]

That's it! Do you know the name of the comedian?

[Slings and Arrows]

---

[teletech]

Apparently your flatulence taxonomy is much more sophisticated than mine. I just use a 10-unit rating scale.

My wife says they should use the Richter scale for me. : )

[teletech]

Reminds of the time I was sitting with my wife in church on one of those church benches you talked about. The science of acoustics states that when you put a speaker or other sound source in mid air it is reinforced x's1, on the floor x's2, on the floor with a wall in the back x's 4 and in a corner x's 8.

Well I was in a x's 8 situation where I sat in the pew. The pastor was speaking a very good message, but shall I say my weakened flesh in a loud gaseaous brrrrrrrp, overcame the spirit of the situation.

I'll always remember the proper Baptist gentleman in front of me twitching slightly, his jaw setting firmly, but his ears reddening to a bright crimson. My wife poked me while trying to keep a straight face. There were a pair of teens who had started to titter behind me.

I turned around and looked at the young pair, a girl and boy who were trying to regain their composure and I did the only thing I could think of to make the best of the situation.....ready for it....here it comes...

I smiled and pointed at my wife.

That did it...despite Baptist decorum the teens just lost it laughing uproariously and my wife gave me a few hard punches to my arm...I just sat smiling inwardly praising god for my human frailties. The pastor paused a few seconds to see what the commotion was and folks in the front row just sat ridgidly, their ears all reddened too but we got our-selves under control and the sermon went on.

Just to funny! LOL!!

[teletech]

Soundfs like you heard the comic record from the fifties, The F-rting Contest," High point winner If I remember correctly was a tripple flutter bleep

I have no idea where that phrase originated. I know I heard it somewhere.

[RVN Airplane Driver]

If a comedian did the routine he must have stolen it...I heard it years ago....back when folks told jokes to one another..

[Corin Stormhands]

g'nad ping

[Irish_Thatcherite]

There was a case in an Irish court where a judge found a woman in contempt - because she wasn't wearing a bra under her blouse! ;)

[azhenfud]

After clearing the courtroom, they threw the offendant in jail.

[Kaylee Frye]