[presidio9]

My dilemma is should I bring this to my parents' attention?

Of course you should. What is wrong with you?

[ContemptofCourt]

You could talk to him about how inappropriate his site is, and then tell him that you will pass on the site addy to your parents at the end of the week....this way he can make a good choice and clean up his site, and take some positive guidance from you.

[oldleft]

I wouldn't let a 13 year use myspace. Period. There's way too much bad that the little bit of good from it doesn't even matter.

[cgk]

Freepmail.

[Paradox]

MySPace is a sh*thole, but besides that, yes, tell your parents. The kid is 13, he has no adult "rights". In fact, even if he was 18 but still living at home, I'd tell you to still tell your parents...

Having said that, you might want to talk it over with him first, MOST of the stuff of MySpace is pure BS. Chest thumping, typical boy-exageration of "whose is bigger".

[Sloth]

Well, he can't really complain if you (or your husband) bring it up, since he effectively invited you to peruse his myspace page. Crass language, etc., is pretty typical for a 13-year-old boy who is within a circle of similarly aged boys... but the drinking is certainly something that needs to be dealt with.

[texan75010]

I have a niece who portrays herself as black....I have another neice who says she is EMO...neither is true...my step daughter says she grew up in a ghetto....please.....seems like no one tells the truth about themselves on myspace...

I have gotten calls about the content on my step daughters space....more laughter than concern....but I didnt mind....

[mtbopfuyn]

That site is nothing but filth. Run, don't walk, to your parents right now. A 13 year old has no business on such a site. My teens aren't allowed to get accounts and after looking around they concur with me.

However, after telling your parents your little brother should NEVER be allowed on it, they should check out some of his classmates' pages now and then to make sure he's not running with the wrong crowd or choosing the wrong girlfriend.

[fatboynic]

I would first find out if he was joking/lying and then proceed. If he is just messin around trying to "appear" grown, I would deal only with him...encouraging him that it is not necessary to appear this way just to be cool.

However, if this way of living is true, I would probably go to parents after FIRST attempting to encourage him away from this lifestyle...

[RedCell]

Have you considered pulling him aside and having a one-on-one with him? That would allow him the opportunity to "save face" without getting your parents involved.

Knowing what I know now, I would be all over this like white (or brown, depending on your preference) on rice. The last thing you want to see is this escalate to something really serious.

For instance, my niece was involved with a boy and they got busted for pot possession (they were both under 16). Over time, it got to the point where some more serious drugs were involved. Well, guess what... the boy is dead now due to an overdose. I didn't do enough when the signs were hitting me over the head and I'd hate to see anyone else go through that, especially if they have an opportunity to step in and do the right thing. There's nothing worse than going through the woulda-coulda-shoulda stuff when it comes to your family or friends.

Ok, off my soap box. Just my 2 cents. Take it for what it's worth.

[CindyDawg]

Assuming this is for real...I would talk to him and let him know you are going to discuss with "mom and dad". If he didn't want yall to know, he wouldn't have invited you. It may not be the case here but sometimes kids will do stuff like this to get out of uncomfortable situations . It's a save face to your peers to say, "I got busted. My sister ratted on me and now my parents won't let me on".

[HOTTIEBOY]

I would say that you absolutely SHOULD tell the parents.

But then I don't know if it would do any good. Afterall, it seems to me, that if the parents cared, they would already know what the kid is doing because they would be right there, watching.

[PayNoAttentionManBehindCurtain]

You bet you need to tell....

Becky

[MikefromOhio]

13 is a make or break age.

He's probably old enough to understand that what he's doing is wrong.

He might be mature enough to understand it, but he probably doesn't give a flip.

I'd personally bring it up to him, or better yet, have your husband do so.

If that doesn't do the trick, maybe you should bring it up to your parents.

[VOA]

"I am by no means some boring prude or tattle , but I feel that he has no
business being involved in some of this at 13 years old. "'

I'll give you the punchline up front:
"Actions (and words/pictures are manisfestations of actions) have consequences.
So you've got to be careful with what you say and do."

Here's the rest of my dissertation:

If I was in your place, I think that (at first) I'd not tattle...but try
to find some way to place a "carrot" in front of your brother.

From WAY BACK, I remember this saying:
"NOTHING is ever 'off the record'."
(This was from the TV version of "The Paper Chase" when Professor Kingsfield
reminds a law student that IN REALITY, just about everything a person
does or says is noticed by somebody else.)

I'd tell your brother that thanks to items like "Wayback Machine", what ever
he does in cyberspace is recorded. And people pay attention.
There have even been a few news stories about potential employers simply
Googling and finding job applicants My Space pages...and the outcome is not good.

You can also remind him that while a person shouldn't be constantly self-censoring
(or lying), it doesn't hurt to follow Thomas Jefferson's advice about
always acting as if someone else was looking/listening.

Maybe his current My Space page is funny or engaging...but if he (and/or friends)
ever got into some sort of trouble (even innocently)...
that My Space page is going to be looked at by the police, the DA, and
about a thousand other interested parties.
And even if it was full of "bloviation", it may look really bad under
fuller scrutiny.


I don't know where your 13-year old brother is at on the religiosity spectrum.
But I'd be tempted to get this book for him (even if it's more directed to
high-schoolers near graduation).

It's about how Christians (or just the average Joe/Josephine) should
consider how they present themselves to the world.
In order to do well AND not to have to overcome negative image.

I only have heard the author discuss the book, but IIRC, he said there
was a chapter on the subject of having tatoos.
And that is is one page long.
With the whole text of "Don't."

In, But Not Of: A Guide to Christian Ambition
by Hugh Hewitt

http://www.amazon.com/But-Not-Guide-Christian-Ambition/dp/0785263950/sr=1-2/qid=1159206118/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-2180835-6222436?ie=UTF8&s=books

[old and tired]

Dear AUJenn, I gather you don't have children yet. Yes, tell your parents, yes, have your husband talk to him. 13 year olds DO NOT have a right to privacy. Besides, even if they did, he's the one who put the stuff out on a public website, not you.

Wouldn't you want to know what your 13 year old was up to?

[NRA2BFree]

MySpace is NOT a place that kids that young need to be. You need to tell him to close his account and get off there or that you will tell your parents. If he gets mad, oh well. He'll get over it. "Bad company corrupts good morals," and in the case of MySpace, it will definitely corrupt him!

[E Rocc]

I cut a deal with my niece. As long as there's nothing on her page that implies she is older than she is, I don't say anything about the occasional bad language.

-Eric