Posted on 08/18/2006 7:45:43 AM PDT by areafiftyone
DOGS DIARY
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
CAT'S DIARY
Day 483 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.
Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan...
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I have patience, I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
***************************************************************
Finally, I leave you with the best graffiti I ever saw. It was in the men's room of the late and lamented Kenmore Bowladrome in Boston.
God is dead - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead - God
Prove it - Prudential Insurance
See you soon.
LOL
Daffy: "Shoot him now! Shoot him now!"
Bugs: "YOU keep 'outta this. He doesn't HAVE to shoot you now."
Daffy: "Oh, yes he DOES have to shoot me now. I DEMAND that you shoot me now!"
(*BAM*)
Daffy (muttering to Bugs): "Let's run through that again".
Bugs: "OK"
"Would you like to shoot me now or wait 'till you get home."
Daffy: "Shoot him now, shoot him now!"
Bugs: "You keep out of this, he doesn't have to shoot you now."
Daffy: "AHA! That's it! Hold it right there!"
(sotto voce, to the camera): "Pronoun trouble! "
(Back to Bugs) "It's not "He doesn't have to shoot YOU now," it's "He doesn't have to shoot..ME now." "
"Well I say he DOES have to shoot me now! So shoot me now!"
(*BAM!*)
My favotire cartoons as a kid were Bugs Bunny cartoon. The cartoons they have nowadays for kids are just too creepy for words!
Cat ping
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