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"Charm school" helps men perfect the pick-up
Yahoo! News ^ | Mon Aug 14, 8:59 AM ET | Matthew Verrinder

Posted on 08/17/2006 4:42:10 AM PDT by 7thson

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Ben had a rough Friday night picking up women on the Hotel Gansevoort's balcony after being coldly rejected by two attractive blonds.

The 23-year-old documentary filmmaker, who asked his last name not be used for fear of ridicule, suffers from an acute case of "premature ejectulation" -- ejecting himself early from promising conversations with women for fear of rejection.

Such was the diagnosis from the coaches of "Charm School Boot Camp," a three-day crash course on seducing women that Ben and five other men paid $1,600 apiece for in early August.

"If I were to look at it objectively, I would feel really good about it, and then just leave," Ben said.

Ben is not the only man with crippling fears when it comes to chatting up women. That's why Charm School, run by an Ann Arbor, Michigan-based company called Charisma Arts, has no problem finding men who need intense guidance and fieldwork approaching women at places like bookstores and bars.

"People think we're teaching guys with no confidence who are bad with women," said Charisma Arts co-founder Wayne Elise. "We teach guys how to be themselves in a very unnatural environment, how to cold approach strangers and make them comfortable enough to open themselves up."

Charisma Arts runs weekend Charm School seminars in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, London and Sydney. Some students find out about the course from the company's Web site, www.charismaarts.com.

The Charm School's lesson plan stays away from canned lines and instructs men to think on their feet when talking to women, to put their insecurities aside and react naturally to a women's subtle cues, said Johnny Saviour, 21, a Charisma Arts instructor.

The class starts on Friday afternoon with the instructors going over Elise's attraction theory. They then practice the theory by approaching each other as if they were women, and they do word association exercises to get their minds tuned into keeping a conversation with a woman rolling.

After a night approaching women at a bar or club, the instructors hold a debriefing the next morning and go over what the participants did right and wrong. Then they head out again to hit on more women.

THE MORNING AFTER...

Ben and the five other participants, ranging in age from 21 to 43, met with their four coaches Saturday at a McDonald's near Union Square, the morning after a deflating evening of hitting on women at the Gansevoort.

Sam, a stocky, recent college graduate from Boston with shaved head and thick chain around his neck, said he is tired of sleeping with "drunk chicks" and wants to learn how to properly "pursue and attain" the women of his choice.

Tim, 23, a New York piano tuner, said his new full-time job makes it hard for him to meet women.

"This was something I was willing to splurge on," said Tim, who also did not want to give his last name. "I live in a city with millions of women, and I want to meet some of them."

Ben said that despite his lack of luck with women on Friday night, he tried to "learn a little from each interaction."

Forty minutes later, he was standing in a nearby Barnes & Noble book store, eyeing a small woman in a hat and glasses who was thumbing through a book. He sidled up to her and took a book from a shelf near her, but she didn't notice him and soon walked away without talking to him.

"A lot of guys defeat themselves right away," Saviour whispered, looking on. "If he thinks she's not interested, he'll clam up. That's exactly what happened."

To get Ben back on track, Savior has him talk to a male store clerk so he can interact with another person without pressure. Soon, Ben approaches another woman but she too walks away without noticing him.

"I feel a bit shaken up," Ben said after his latest rejection. "There is information coming from a lot of different places. I feel a bit like a pickup artist."

By the early hours of Sunday at a crowded rooftop bar on Fifth Avenue, Ben finally has a confident glow. Other Charm School students are partying on the fringes of a drunken bachelorette party full of New Jersey women.

But Ben, dressed in a dark shirt and slacks and standing tall in the middle of the crowd, has already talked to four groups of women by 11:30 p.m., made some connections and is on the lookout for more.

Just a day into Charm School, Ben says he has begun to absorb some of its tenets, like honestly justifying to the women why he has approached them, genuinely stating their uniqueness, then making slight, gentlemanly physical contact, like a touch of the arm at just the right time.

"I would say in terms of last night's performance, I've definitely found my path to fulfillment," he said. "Last night I felt uncomfortable, but I've taken in what they've taught me. I've been myself, and it's worked."


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: charmschool; dating; imsolonely; men; pickup; singles; swingbatterbatter; women
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To: Liz

LOL!


61 posted on 08/17/2006 5:25:08 AM PDT by TommyDale (It's time to dismiss the Duke fake rape case, Mr. Nifong!)
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To: Lurker

We are talking cunning linguistic ability, I assume.


62 posted on 08/17/2006 5:25:24 AM PDT by Larry Lucido
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To: Larry Lucido

I always thought Fellatio was an Italian first name.


63 posted on 08/17/2006 5:25:55 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is a perversion of faith, a lie against human spirit, an obscenity shouted in the face of G_d)
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To: Lazamataz

Don't take this the wrong way, but for some odd reason I know the name Pink Pony strip club...does such a place exist and where would I have read about it?


64 posted on 08/17/2006 5:26:04 AM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: Larry Lucido
I've always prided myself on being a cunning linguist.

Now my ex-wife, she was just a cunning runt.

L

65 posted on 08/17/2006 5:26:55 AM PDT by Lurker (I support Israel without reservation. Hizbollah must be destroyed to the last man.)
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To: durasell
It exists, on Buford Highway in Atlanta GA.

And there's actually an Amber Storm that used to work there.

And yes, she and I did a video.

You can rent it at the Love Shack, the title is "Licking Amber Part II".

66 posted on 08/17/2006 5:27:36 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is a perversion of faith, a lie against human spirit, an obscenity shouted in the face of G_d)
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To: Lazamataz

Was someone killed there or something? I'm sure I've heard the name before...


67 posted on 08/17/2006 5:28:50 AM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: driftdiver
And what are the women in the bars looking for? You don't go to a bar looking for love. Its more to have a drink, watch the people, and maybe go home with someone for dangerous casual encounters.

What are you, a serial rapist?
68 posted on 08/17/2006 5:29:01 AM PDT by Vision (God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline 2Timothy1)
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To: Lazamataz

"She's actually not quite as pretty, and DEFINITELY not as sweet."

What is about a woman with a Pan-Am jet full of baggage that is so attractive? Figure that one out and then you will have 1600 buck seminar. What a bargain that would be.


69 posted on 08/17/2006 5:29:02 AM PDT by Paulus
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To: Mr. Jeeves
"Only if he has accepted as true the myth that she has more value than he does - that her body is a rare and precious commodity, while his is something that might as well be tossed in the trash; that her feelings are paramount, and his don't matter at all."

Women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, But I... I do deny them my essence.

70 posted on 08/17/2006 5:30:02 AM PDT by avg_freeper (Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
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To: goldstategop

"I'd say you would be out of your mind considering accepting a proposition from someone you don't even know! "

Considering some of the people I've known its dangerous either way.


71 posted on 08/17/2006 5:30:36 AM PDT by driftdiver
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To: Paulus
What is about a woman with a Pan-Am jet full of baggage that is so attractive? Figure that one out and then you will have 1600 buck seminar. What a bargain that would be.

Actually, that one's quite easy.

Women who are messed up are vulnerable. And men find vulnerable women irresistable. It appeals to the Sir Lancelot Gene.

Back when I was living much more poorly, I had the occasion to be around women that could only be described as crack ho's. To a woman, no matter how hideous she appeared, they'd have very nice and normal men pursuing them. I talked with one such woman one time, and she broke it down: I'm vulnerable because I'm an addict, and men want to rescue me.

72 posted on 08/17/2006 5:32:39 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is a perversion of faith, a lie against human spirit, an obscenity shouted in the face of G_d)
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To: durasell
Was someone killed [at the Pink Pony Strip Club] or something?

Yes, but I've been cleared in the case.

73 posted on 08/17/2006 5:33:26 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is a perversion of faith, a lie against human spirit, an obscenity shouted in the face of G_d)
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To: Lazamataz

Never mind, I found it via Google. It's a cancer charity...


74 posted on 08/17/2006 5:34:12 AM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: durasell
Never mind, I found it via Google. It's a cancer charity...

....... and they strip to make their money.

75 posted on 08/17/2006 5:35:44 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Islam is a perversion of faith, a lie against human spirit, an obscenity shouted in the face of G_d)
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To: Lazamataz

It's a Ralph Lauren deal, most likely they put on clothing to make their money.


76 posted on 08/17/2006 5:36:46 AM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: Quilla

That was a good movie.


77 posted on 08/17/2006 5:37:10 AM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: durasell

According to a quick yahoo search there are classy places all over using this name.

Atlanta, West VA, South Carolina,

In fact you might recall a lottery winner who had $3 million stolen from from his SUV while he was in a bar called...the Pink Pony strip club


78 posted on 08/17/2006 5:40:14 AM PDT by driftdiver
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To: Lazamataz

It appeals to the Sir Lancelot Gene.



Wrong, it appeals to the guy who wants to seal some kind of deal where the woman will remain loyal. It's the male equiv. of women sealing the deal with sex.

Obviously "the deal" inevitably falls apart and the injured party gets to hear "But...but...but...I...but...I...I can't believe....but....but.." run through their head for an extended period of time.


79 posted on 08/17/2006 5:40:33 AM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: durasell; Lazamataz
Love Shack
80 posted on 08/17/2006 5:41:47 AM PDT by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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