What does Capt. Hook do when he catches crabs?
Posted on 08/15/2006 7:43:53 AM PDT by Millee
Peter Kay's "Garlic bread, it's the future - I've tasted it" has been voted the best comedy one-liner ever.
The line featured in his one-man show and was later aired in his cult comedy Phoenix Nights.
It's funny, but is it really the funniest line ever? Is there a one-liner you can think of that has had you in stitches? Have you ever had your work colleagues cracking up with a one-line beauty?
ROFLMAO!
I gotta have a shirt!
---
Thanks for the hilarious post. I've saved them all!
ROTFL
"I would rather be here, than with the finest people in the world"
My wife's not to smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. she said, "all kids smell that way".
"He's so stupid, he spelled Yale with a 6."
I will now enter the home to the sound of chanting laments.
What a collection of tag lines!!!
There's a bus leaving in 15 minutes, be under it.
Next time you're passing by my house, please do.
It could have been worse, you could have been twins.
I remember when my Dad was teaching me how to swim, that sack was so dark, and those kittens kept scratching at me.
Looking back, the first indication I got that my parents didn't want me, was when they gave me a toaster and told me it was a tub toy.
I woke up this morning with the lights on and a horse in my bed. Right away I knew something was wrong. I never sleep with the lights on.
"Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?"
- Don Rickles
"Like a death at a birthday party, you ruin all the fun... Like a sucked and spat out smartie, you're no use to anyone."
- John Cooper Clarke
"He has a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard."
- Anon
"She has an insipid double chin, her legs are too short, and she has a slight potbelly."
- Richard Burton talking about Elizabeth Taylor
"She loves 'NATURE' - In spite of what it did to her."
- Anon
"Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?"
- Don Rickles
"When He comes into a room, the mice jump on chairs."
- Anon
"I don't want you to turn the other cheek - it's just as ugly."
- Anon
"Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday."
- Anon
"See, that's what's meant by dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome."
- Anon
"Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?"
- Anon
"Don't you need a license to be that ugly?"
- Anon
"Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!"
- Anon
"I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!"
- Anon
"No wonder you were sick—look at all the puke you swallowed."
Dang ES....you can't count.
It is ONE liners.
Kissy
Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.
"Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.
She said, "Rectum."
"Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"
Ann Richards: So, you boys like baseball?
Dale Gribble: You trying to screen for communists? Don't worry, we're all cool.
Well, it fit on one line. :)
"He does the work of three men - Curly, Moe & Larry."
"He's not afraid of hard work, he can lay down and go to sleep right next to it."
The quickest way to a man's heart's through his chest. -- Roseanne Barr
Join the Army, see the world, meet exotic people, and kill them.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.