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Funniest One-Liners
Sky News (U.K.) ^
| 8/14/06
| Staff
Posted on 08/15/2006 7:43:53 AM PDT by Millee
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"Garlic bread, it's the future - I've tasted it"That's the funniest one-liner ever???? Would hate to see the runners-up.
1
posted on
08/15/2006 7:43:54 AM PDT
by
Millee
To: Millee
2
posted on
08/15/2006 7:46:12 AM PDT
by
avacado
To: Millee
"This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes.
In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in the world...
and, as a consequence, he will die... laughing."
To: Millee
I shot an elephant in my pajamas... how he got in my pajama's I'll never know.
-- Groucho Marx
4
posted on
08/15/2006 7:50:06 AM PDT
by
So Cal Rocket
(Proud Member: Internet Pajama Wearers for Truth)
To: Millee
I did not have sex with that woman.
5
posted on
08/15/2006 7:50:28 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
((Kennedys - Can't drive, can't fly, can't ski, can't skipper a boat - But they know what's best.))
To: avacado
After several reflections on the glory of living in an Islamo-fascist state governed by Sharia Law enforced by militia thugs under the care of some one-eyed turban wrapped imam....
WHAT A COUNTRY....!!!
6
posted on
08/15/2006 7:50:40 AM PDT
by
Wings-n-Wind
(All of the answers remain available; Wisdom is gained by asking the right questions!)
To: Millee
I'm going to start thinking positive, but I know it won't work.
7
posted on
08/15/2006 7:51:04 AM PDT
by
bwteim
To: carlr; Jersey Republican Biker Chick; najida; Maximus of Texas; EX52D; Mike Bates; Mr. Jeeves; ...
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. (Dangerfield) - ping!
8
posted on
08/15/2006 7:51:10 AM PDT
by
Millee
(A joke then, a joke N.O.W.)
To: Millee
"I would never want to be part of a club that would have me as a member"
Groucho Marx
9
posted on
08/15/2006 7:51:56 AM PDT
by
xcamel
(Press to Test, Release to Detonate)
To: Millee
Two from Bob hope my grandfather passed on from a show in Milwaukee.
I had to take a bloodtest before playing the Country Club - thankfully I passed. It was blue.
That Golf Club is so ritzy a $100 bill comes out with each divot.
10
posted on
08/15/2006 7:52:28 AM PDT
by
MNlurker
To: Millee
Garlic bread, it's the future - I've tasted it" Uh, yeah. Pretty funny. And Finnegans Wake by James Joyce is one of the greatest books ever written....
11
posted on
08/15/2006 7:53:08 AM PDT
by
Steel Wolf
(- Islam will never survive being laughed at. -)
To: Millee
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
12
posted on
08/15/2006 7:55:33 AM PDT
by
bwteim
To: Millee
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper 4 times - 3 while I was reading it
To: Millee
"The only problem with France is it's full of Frenchmen."
To: Millee
I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
To: Millee
Mark Twain on Jane Austen:
"Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."
16
posted on
08/15/2006 7:57:16 AM PDT
by
Graybeard58
(Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
To: Millee
"Germany's favorite sport--invading Poland." Paul Lynde.
To: bwteim
I heard it was give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll fish for a lifetime.
18
posted on
08/15/2006 7:58:30 AM PDT
by
fredhead
(Women want me....Fish fear me....I can dream can't I?)
To: Millee
To: Millee
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
20
posted on
08/15/2006 7:58:59 AM PDT
by
bwteim
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