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Baby Seal Man (The tragic death of Walkman - the baby seal man...)
ecoenquirer,com ^ | July, 2006 | ecoenquirer

Posted on 07/28/2006 5:21:05 PM PDT by dynachrome

The recent discovery of Walkman's body by some fishermen, beaten to death in his sleep, was met with widespread suspicion that seal hunters had taken matters into their own hands.

(Excerpt) Read more at ecoenquirer.com ...


TOPICS: Local News
KEYWORDS: bloodyhorribledeath; clubbing; cuteanimal; paybackmaybe; satire; seals
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Another heart-rendering story from the files of the EcoEnquirer. "Where mankind meets Mother nature"
1 posted on 07/28/2006 5:21:07 PM PDT by dynachrome
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To: dynachrome

Reminds me of the nature freaks who tried to mingle with the buffalo herd in Yellowstone.

When Mama Buff hollers at you for petting her calf, she and all the Daddy Buffs in the area get after the "petter". Further illustration of what makes domestic cattle rather, um, er, domesticated.


2 posted on 07/28/2006 5:24:30 PM PDT by 308MBR ( "She pulled up her petticoat, and I pulled out for Tulsa!" Abstinence training from Bob Wills.)
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To: dynachrome

Ecoenquirer... I've seen other stories from that web site.

Spoofs... All of them.


3 posted on 07/28/2006 5:26:11 PM PDT by Sundog (Beware America's ribald idiots: They want to be taken seriously.)
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To: dynachrome

It seems that it was Walkman who was rendered.


4 posted on 07/28/2006 5:27:06 PM PDT by Misterioso
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To: dynachrome

Hate to harp or be flippant, but this guy's fate was sealed. I suspect Ipod.


5 posted on 07/28/2006 5:28:22 PM PDT by LearsKent
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To: Sundog

"Spoofs... All of them'
You mean that wasn't Jeremiah Johnson mourning a polar bear?
:)


6 posted on 07/28/2006 5:30:21 PM PDT by dynachrome ("Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I in a handbasket?")
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To: dynachrome

Maybe it was killer whales. LOL


7 posted on 07/28/2006 5:30:52 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Everybody's entitled to my opinion.)
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To: Sundog
Spoofs... All of them.

Now, now. You gotta wait till at least post #25 before revealing that this site is a parody! It is too much fun to read the indignation from those easily duped.

8 posted on 07/28/2006 5:33:37 PM PDT by Drew68
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To: dynachrome

"This is the seal that kilt the man that ah..did not kilt me." - Jerimaih Johnseal


9 posted on 07/28/2006 5:33:46 PM PDT by LearsKent
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To: dynachrome

This is such a happy story. Sniff


10 posted on 07/28/2006 5:34:59 PM PDT by Khepera (Do not remove by penalty of law!)
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To: Sundog
Spoofs... All of them.

I prefer to think of their articles as eco-journalism at its finest.

President Bush Signs Animal Rights Act into Law

President Bush signing the controversial Animal Right Act into law, providing for a wide range of new rights for all native-born animals in the United States.

The ARA will provide new and wide ranging legal rights to all native-born animals in the United States. Among the myriad new rights included in the ARA are a minimum wage, slaughterhouse and roadkill survivor compensation, unemployment benefits, animal lanes added to all new federally funded highways, and abortion on demand.

snip

11 posted on 07/28/2006 5:35:45 PM PDT by DumpsterDiver
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To: cripplecreek
From the article:

The tragic death of Walkman is now believed to be the result of an attack by the adult seals, probably in the middle of the night while Walkman was trapped in his sleeping bag.

The irony here is too rich.

12 posted on 07/28/2006 5:37:48 PM PDT by DeltaZulu
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To: dynachrome

DNA SUGGESTS... The tragic death of Walkman is now believed to be the result of an attack by the adult seals, probably in the middle of the night while Walkman was trapped in his sleeping bag.

Seals ARE smarter than humans. Proves DEvolution.


13 posted on 07/28/2006 5:39:58 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark ((Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3))
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To: dynachrome

I love the baby seals. They taste like chicken, especially with a wasabi-teriaki glaze and some sake.


14 posted on 07/28/2006 5:40:21 PM PDT by CholeraJoe (Iraqi airspace. If it ain't ours, It flies, it dies.)
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To: dynachrome

Truth is stranger than fiction.

Exhibit A. Tim Snackwell....er Treadwell.


15 posted on 07/28/2006 5:41:18 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Everybody's entitled to my opinion.)
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To: cripplecreek

"Tim Snackwell....er Treadwell."
Was that the bear guy eaten in Alaska?


16 posted on 07/28/2006 5:44:44 PM PDT by dynachrome ("Where am I? Where am I going? Why am I in a handbasket?")
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To: dynachrome

Dian Fossey Redeux? ;)


17 posted on 07/28/2006 5:46:24 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: dynachrome

Yup Snackwell was the Grizzly man.


18 posted on 07/28/2006 5:46:59 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Everybody's entitled to my opinion.)
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To: dynachrome

"Tragic"??? This doofus put himself in the midst of wild animals and they killed him. Just like that idiot with the bears who got eaten alive, this nitwit got what he should have REALIZED was going to happen.


19 posted on 07/28/2006 5:48:36 PM PDT by Mobile Vulgus
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To: CholeraJoe
I love the baby seals. They taste like chicken, especially with a wasabi-teriaki glaze and some sake.

That's disgusting and barbaric. What a terrible, stupid remark. I don't know how you can joke about something horrible like that. What's the matter with you? Don't you know that you're just supposed to marinate them and then grill them plain without some faggy glaze? Honestly, some people have no feelings!

20 posted on 07/28/2006 5:52:50 PM PDT by Fairview
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