Posted on 07/13/2006 7:25:32 PM PDT by proud_yank
Hello,
Many of you know that FReeper Rebel_yell2 is stuck in his hotel in Beruit after the airstrikes. A request for any help or ideas on his situation was posted here.
Just wanted to start a thread specifically for jokes, chit-chat, etc. to help lift his spirits, and to keep the original thread more open in case he needs to reach anyone.
Well, okay.
Jon and I are doing the singles thread. It's going to be very heavy on the Chuck Norris-thing.
Okay.
I'll be sure to throw some Jack Bauer in there to mess you up some.
:P
Night!
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Whiskey. Preferrably Kentucky bourbon.
Why did the punk cross the road?
Tell me, Why?
He was stapled to the chicken...
LOL!
I've never heard that one.
Good choice!
Ewww, meat. You should have sprung for organic tofu & alfalfa sprouts. Mmmmmm....
How many møøslimbs does it take to change a light bulb?
Is this anything like " a moose bit my sister once"?
Not that cheesey...
LOL
OK, I'll bite.... How many?
None. They want us all to sit in the dark...
Hi PY! I have been off line for 2 days. .let me get caught up & I will ping my personal list..thanks!
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