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Official Friday Silliness Thread (Fathers Day Special/Work)
Yahoo ^ | 6-16-06

Posted on 06/16/2006 12:17:13 AM PDT by sully777

The OFST Salute To Fathers




TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Humor; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: fathersday; hellasilly; ofst; orly; silliness
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To: nuke rocketeer

In honor of Father's Day, a John Wayne quote, directed toward the character played by his son Patrick, from the movie "Big Jake":

"You can call me Father, you can call me Jacob, you can call me Jake, you can call me a dirty son of a b!tch; but if you ever call me Daddy again I'll finish this fight!!"


141 posted on 06/16/2006 8:46:09 AM PDT by fredhead (The greatest privilege of citizenship is to be able to freely bear arms under one's country's flag.)
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To: fredhead

"Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?"
"But I've given you 10 glasses of water already!"
"Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!"


142 posted on 06/16/2006 8:49:09 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: sully777

NEW LAW COMING FROM CONGRESS -- AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

WASHINGTON, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by
advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow
People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job
skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). The DMV also has a
great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose
and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or
"Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation."

Please contact your representative right away and let them know you support this act...that is, if you are able...


143 posted on 06/16/2006 8:49:39 AM PDT by lilylangtree
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To: nuke rocketeer

Mommy, mommy! I don't think I can eat this much

Shut up amd put your hand back in the meat grinder!




Mommy, mommy! The doggy looks cold!

Shut up and keep skinnin' Rover!




Mommy, mommy! Grandma finally fell asleep!

Shut up and put the rat poison in the garbage can.


144 posted on 06/16/2006 8:50:00 AM PDT by Mathews (Shot... Splash... Out!)
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To: Fawnn

145 posted on 06/16/2006 8:51:02 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Ask not what the government can do for you. Ask why it doesn't.)
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To: fredhead

:) good one


146 posted on 06/16/2006 8:51:59 AM PDT by wallcrawlr (http://www.bionicear.com/)
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To: wallcrawlr

147 posted on 06/16/2006 8:54:05 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: r-q-tek86

148 posted on 06/16/2006 8:57:11 AM PDT by wallcrawlr (http://www.bionicear.com/)
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To: sully777
Puff Daddy


149 posted on 06/16/2006 8:58:14 AM PDT by wallcrawlr (http://www.bionicear.com/)
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To: BJClinton
BJC... is that baby ready to come out yet?


150 posted on 06/16/2006 9:00:39 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: r-q-tek86

I own this page


151 posted on 06/16/2006 9:01:00 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (** Tagline Removed By Admin Moderator **)
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To: sully777

152 posted on 06/16/2006 9:01:37 AM PDT by wallcrawlr (http://www.bionicear.com/)
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To: wallcrawlr

153 posted on 06/16/2006 9:01:42 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Ask not what the government can do for you. Ask why it doesn't.)
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To: wallcrawlr

What is RLY?


154 posted on 06/16/2006 9:02:20 AM PDT by secret garden (Dubiety reigns here)
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To: r-q-tek86

155 posted on 06/16/2006 9:02:37 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: secret garden

are you series?


156 posted on 06/16/2006 9:03:19 AM PDT by Zavien Doombringer (Mr. Franklin, what form of customes did you create in Tiajunna? A beeber, Madam, if you can stune it)
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More cat silliness

157 posted on 06/16/2006 9:05:27 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Lucky9teen

158 posted on 06/16/2006 9:08:30 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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To: Zavien Doombringer

Hughly.


159 posted on 06/16/2006 9:08:53 AM PDT by secret garden (Dubiety reigns here)
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To: Zavien Doombringer

Yes, it's Taylor-ed to you!


160 posted on 06/16/2006 9:09:59 AM PDT by nuke rocketeer
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