ping a ling where is everyone.
Top 10?
So this is what it has come to. Farewell, OFST, I hardly knew yee.
Can it be that I made it in top 10???????
I have a theory, but I'd get banned if I shared it.
Top 10?......
How's this for silly and naughty!
HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS
AROUND THE COUNTRY:
FEMALE SOFA----- A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva. eeewwwww.....
PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his organ. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife,
it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!.
The concrete then hardened, (no sh *t Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy - we live sheltered lives!)
BLIND DRUNK----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to
help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (Oh my gosh!!!)
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! ----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They
eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's
organ and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
"he may have "administered" a Bockwurst to the woman"
??
that's not what my German dictionary calls it... ;)
It was the best of times it was the wurst of times......
Some pr**k cut her off.
Was Herr Bock availble for comments? Or parties?
Vienna world would he do that? Spoiled Brat?
I guess you could say he took a tern for the wurst.
Being that Father's Day is Sunday, I got this one.
When my father passed away 8 years ago, we all knew that my dad wanted to be cremated. No biggie, but what to do with his ashes. There are 6 kids, and no one really wanted to seperate him up and we wanted Mom to have him. After a few weeks, my sister asked where dad was. He was not on a mantle, and she was curious. Mom says. "Oh, he is in the closet."
Now our family does have a dry sense of humor, but to say that my dead father is in the closet, first thing I thought of was, "Well, is he coming out of the closet soon? I guess it does not mean much when you come out of the closet AFTER you are dead."
About a week later, our Mom says, just out of the blue, "Oh, BTW, your father is out of the closet, I sprinkled his ashes on that tree he planted out front. Now we don't have to worry about him being in the closet."
Sorry if anyone thinks this is morbid, but with the first posting, I just remembered this.
I thought it was funny at the time, my Father, a devout Christian, coming out of the closet weeks after he died.