A question for those 40+ who've been married at least ten years

Me (vanity) ^ | May 21, 2006 | Darkwolf377

[Darkwolf377]

Are you glad you got married when you did, or do you wished you waited?

[Nabber]

congratulations, grame.

We are also 30+ years, 50-somethings, and Air Force-types.

We were separated for a year, about 12 years ago, and it was through my returning to the Church that I was able to return to my marriage.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

"Are you glad you got married when you did, or do you wished you waited?"

I ran off and married a sailor at age 19. He died in a car wreck when we were 25. We had no kids, thankfully, because we were both immature little brats ourselves. He was a nice guy, but I don't think our marriage would've lasted for the long haul.

Re-married in HASTE and repented at LEISURE when I was 26. Biggest mistake of my life, but I stuck it out for seven years. Again, no kids. We were both in the Army, and didn't see too much of one another...which is probably why it lasted as long as it did because it was always a Romantic Honeymoon, sorely lacking in Reality of any kind. ;)

Then, I did the hard work, the soul-searching, got my own priorities straight, etc. and remarried at age 35 to a terrific man who was a single dad and had a young son. We also ended up raising our two nephews, as my SIL is a drug addict/thief/drunk driver, etc., who is now in prison. Finally! We've been together for 11 years now. He's 43, I'm 45. Our boys are 20, 19 & 17.

He makes me laugh so much, I can pretty much forgive him anything...and I've needed to a time to two over the years! But, this one is going to last us the rest of our lives. We're in business together, just sent our son off to college, have a lot of hobbies/interests in common, and adore each others families. We've got a very solid foundation in God & Family which, (as far as you wanting "insight" goes) seems to do the trick. :)

[usmcobra]

49 years old Married 25 years three kids The real secret, I convinced my wife early on that we were too poor to get divorced.

Since then we have never wanted for anything.

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

First married at 22, lasted a whole of 2 years, 2 months and 15 days. Of which, if you added it all up we were together a total of 9 1/2 months. (Thanks in part to the Navy.)

The second time lasted longer. Married at 27 (for me), 35 for the wife, we are now going on 23 years and still act like newlyweds.

Back when I was 27 and looking, all the women my age fell into 2 categories. They either still acted like giggly teenagers, or were just looking for a means of support. That's why I married a wonderful women who just happened to be 8 1/2 years older than me.

I now, not only have two wonderful step-kids that treat me just like I was their real Dad, but those two kids have blessed me with four fantastic grandchildren, ranging in age from 8 to 13.

Regrets? Not a one.

[Andyman]

Married at 24 and have been for 26 years now. Couldn't be happier. She is the best thing that ever happened to me.

[clyde asbury]

You're more welcome on this thread than me. :D

[dakine]

Remember 3 little words:

You're right dear...

[angcat]

Married 14 years. Can't imagine life without my husband. :)

[maxwell]

[snortle] Ain't that the truth...

[Tax-chick]

I won't be 40 until July. (Truth in advertising.) My husband is 43. He was 26 and I was 22 when we got married. Neither of us regrets getting married at that age. We've had some difficult times in our marriage, but I don't think being older would have made any difference.

[linda_22003]

I'm 50 and in my twentieth year of marriage. I nearly married a couple of times when I was quite young, but did not go through with it until I was 31. I'm very glad I didn't marry earlier; at 31 I made a solid choice that I would not have recognized as a good one at a younger age. It just keeps getting better and better. :D

[Skooz]

I was married at 30 and we celebrated our 16th anniversary this past Friday.

I'm glad I waited until I was ready.

[johnny7]

I'd advise all to wait til they're 30... if iat all possible. Love however... is not a 'rational' game and setting parameters usually prove useless.

[johnny7]

iat = at.

[BluH2o]

Married at thirty to a wonderful lady two years younger. It was the right age for me, up to that point I really wasn't ready for marriage. Twenty-five plus years later still married to the same woman ... no regrets.

[Tax-chick]

I'd advise all to wait til they're 30 ...

That's because you're male. If you were having babies, you'd want to get at it younger. My oldest was born when I was 24, and my youngest when I was 39 ... believe me, pregnancy was *much* easier in my 20's. Even my early 30's ...

[Proud2BeRight]

Happiness is being married to your best friend. 36 years now.

[johnny7]

Well yes... I tried to keep my answer as focused as possible on the question. Breeding does complicate things... but I'll stick to my guns on this one.

[ishabibble]

Beautiful story. It's a tribute to you that you added the work you had to do on yourself, most of us tend to skip over that part!

I eloped to be a "war bride" at 16 yrs, abandoned wife with two babies by 19 yrs., I married Mr. X 30 yrs. ago, out of necessity. As the Irish say, "a doubly joyous occasion"! Got divorced in the early 90's, but it's never worked out...we are still together, even though I am very reluctant to go through the marriage ceremony again. I just feel like we let a stupid argument get out of hand, and once the lawyers were involved, we all (including the kids) were damaged far more than we could have imagined.

I did the hard work only after I had let things get so far away from me. They say that timing is everything. That sums up how I feel about my marriages. If I hadn't lost it all, I'd have never realized how much I had...sounds like you know this too. Congratulations!

[Tax-chick]

Fair enough.