> > > >Posted on 04/28/2006 3:59:06 PM PDT by pcottraux
> > > >Hello, hello, hello, everybody!!! Welcome to this week’s awesomely spectacular SINGLES THREAD (so awesome, I had to capitalize it), hosted by pcottraux and ilovew!!!
But enough chit chat. Let’s start tripping the light fantastic!!!
Of course, without a few tunes going on, dancing would just be a bad “a cappella” rip off.
Do the Monkey With Me!
Come on!!!
And now to get the ball rolling:
Hey, how'd you like to watch the show in 3-D, sweet thing?
Say there, pretty air mama, didn't you see me in your dreams last night?
Hey babearilla, that a pretty eensie-weensie, teeny-weenie polka-dot thingy you got going there.
Come and get it, ladies. I'm yours for the takin'!
Hey there, cutie pants!
Hey all you hot mamas. Wanna talk to a steamin' hunk of cyber fella?
Hey there, cutie pants. Am I as studly as the Statue of David, or what?
Oh, baby! I'm going to make your dreams come true!
Hya! Dreamy hunk, right here!
You wanna frisk me?
Wanna get lost with me (whoosh)?
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, let's roll in the hay.
I'm gonna say, 'Hey hot mama, wanna go back to my place for a game of Twister?
Lady: "How many times do I have to tell you I have a boyfriend?!" Johnny: "Well, you look like the kind of girl that could use two."
I bet your name's Mickey, 'cause you're so fine. You're so fine...
Hey there, foxy hygiene girl. (whoosh) I love a babe with minty breath.
All right. I guess that makes me the object of desire, huh baby?
Johnny: "Excuse me, miss." Lady: "(gasp!)" Johnny: "How'd you like to paint the town red with a happenin' hipster?"
Pardon me, hot sexy mama. If you'd please to take a look at my, (whoosh) Hya, studly bod, (whoosh), then I may have the pleasure of you wanting to be my number-one main squeeze.
Hey there, miss. I'm Johnny B. Wanna spend the day with me?
Whoa. Man, you're pretty!
Hey there, Spanish seniorita. Sprechen se love?
Hey there, smart mama.
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Say, how 'bout you and me sharin' a soda right now?
You're steamin' baby! You too. And you. And you, pretty man. Oh man, time flies when you're having fun.
Hello, teen hotline. You're boyfriend left ya'? Why, what are you wearin'?
Wanna do the monkey with me?
So, are we having fun yet? What am I saying…of course we are!!!
AND THE FUN IS JUST GETTING STARTED!!!
Let’s make it a weekend to remember!!!
No, you're not a discount purchase, hon :) You're too cute!
Blonde jokes are great!
I haven't had Godfather's pizza since I was in Colorado many years ago.
Also drank my first Coors draft there.
Don't know of any near me now.
Good joke at 459 for you.
I think I was a Blue Light special at K-Mart once. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper!
I'm glad you like the songs. Hope you're having a nice evening.
The Pharmacist
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said," I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked," Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied,"I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
Looks like you had a good time. Good for you.
Yeah, Wild horses is nice, I like Venus also. Good to see you tonight.
It's going well...but man, my feet are unnaturally cold right now.
Lol okay. You're the sweetest special I ever saw!
Riiiiight.
Oh, and I hope you're having a nice evening, too.
LOL!!!
Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Well, you need to dance.
But at least you were consistent about your beliefs!
OMG!!! That one was FUNNY!
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