Posted on 04/28/2006 3:59:06 PM PDT by pcottraux
Hello, hello, hello, everybody!!! Welcome to this weeks awesomely spectacular SINGLES THREAD (so awesome, I had to capitalize it), hosted by pcottraux and ilovew!!!
But enough chit chat. Lets start tripping the light fantastic!!!
Of course, without a few tunes going on, dancing would just be a bad a cappella rip off.
Do the Monkey With Me!
Come on!!!
And now to get the ball rolling:
Hey, how'd you like to watch the show in 3-D, sweet thing?
Say there, pretty air mama, didn't you see me in your dreams last night?
Hey babearilla, that a pretty eensie-weensie, teeny-weenie polka-dot thingy you got going there.
Come and get it, ladies. I'm yours for the takin'!
Hey there, cutie pants!
Hey all you hot mamas. Wanna talk to a steamin' hunk of cyber fella?
Hey there, cutie pants. Am I as studly as the Statue of David, or what?
Oh, baby! I'm going to make your dreams come true!
Hya! Dreamy hunk, right here!
You wanna frisk me?
Wanna get lost with me (whoosh)?
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, let's roll in the hay.
I'm gonna say, 'Hey hot mama, wanna go back to my place for a game of Twister?
Lady: "How many times do I have to tell you I have a boyfriend?!" Johnny: "Well, you look like the kind of girl that could use two."
I bet your name's Mickey, 'cause you're so fine. You're so fine...
Hey there, foxy hygiene girl. (whoosh) I love a babe with minty breath.
All right. I guess that makes me the object of desire, huh baby?
Johnny: "Excuse me, miss." Lady: "(gasp!)" Johnny: "How'd you like to paint the town red with a happenin' hipster?"
Pardon me, hot sexy mama. If you'd please to take a look at my, (whoosh) Hya, studly bod, (whoosh), then I may have the pleasure of you wanting to be my number-one main squeeze.
Hey there, miss. I'm Johnny B. Wanna spend the day with me?
Whoa. Man, you're pretty!
Hey there, Spanish seniorita. Sprechen se love?
Hey there, smart mama.
You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
Say, how 'bout you and me sharin' a soda right now?
You're steamin' baby! You too. And you. And you, pretty man. Oh man, time flies when you're having fun.
Hello, teen hotline. You're boyfriend left ya'? Why, what are you wearin'?
Wanna do the monkey with me?
So, are we having fun yet? What am I saying of course we are!!!
AND THE FUN IS JUST GETTING STARTED!!!
Lets make it a weekend to remember!!!
Did you check out the cartoon?
I sent you over there to laugh, not to get mad!
and spareribs.
Well, I work in Department 6 (grocery). I'll be pricing merchandise (we put our own price tags on grocery items) and working the shelves and incaps.
Game Warden
A hillbilly was stopped by a game warden in Arkansas recently with two ice chests of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there licenses, no. You must understand these here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" said the game warden.
"Ya. Every night I take these here fish down to da lake and let them swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump rat back into this here ice chest and I take them home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" says the warden
The hillbilly looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth Mr.Go vernment man, I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay," said the game warden, " I've GOT to see this!"
The hillbilly poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, what?" said the hillbilly.
The warden said, "When are you going to call them back?"
The hillbilly said, "Call who back?"
"The FISH!" replied the warden.
"What fish?" answered the hillbilly.
We in Arkansas may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we aren't as dumb as most government employees.
Plenty more where those came from.
I'm going to save some for next weekend. Make sure you're here.
What is the FRname of your FRiend that sent you to FR?
And a piece of macaroni doing the macarena. You truly have thought of everything.
P.S.--Hi!
What's in the bag?
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde rob a supermarket.
As they were stealing, a police officer walks in the store and sees what's happening. He dashes toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store. There they find three sacks to hide in. The police officer then goes to the back of the store, finds the sacks, and decides to examine them.
He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says "meow" in a high voice. The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next.
When he kicks the second bag, the brunette says "woof" in a low voice. The officer determines that it must only be a dog in that bag, so he moves on to the last bag.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "potato" to the officer.
(Please, Lord, let this sink his ambitions right down the toilet!)
Ooooooooo! Pricing guns are FUN!
Yeah. They are considerable devices.
Great blonde joke and a new one for me. I've got a friend who loves that kind of stuff.
A pricing gun in the wrong hands can be more dangerous than a real gun in the right hands.
FINALLY SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP . . .
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a spot on their foreheads.
We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion.
The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C.
When one of these women gets married, she brings with her, a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the spot to see if he has won either a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States.
Just thought you would like to know.
Ah!
You will post a price on me, and then someone will buy me at a discount!
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